my heart goes out to those who have died in the earthquake and sincereity to those families who have lost their loved ones. lets pray for them... hope they'll find a place in heaven. may them be blessed.

haizz... just a stupid earthquake is enuff to jolt the whole Asia, leaving hundered thousands dead and many missing. Reading the newspaper, its so heartwrenching to see pictures of children who were bloated with stomachs as they were drowned. others who dead have many others accompanying them, either siblings, parents, or close relative members. haizz

thank god! my elder bro was safe and sound. he went to india for volunteery work, he called back to report his safety.
he was just a few hrs at the scene to watch sunrise. luckily.... pheww...and also, i was wid my frenz 1 wk ago at batu ferringhi beach. thank god i wasn't at penang a wk later, if not... who noes wat will happen?? hmm....

haizz... i was just tinkin, if i'm workin, i'll definitely quit my job and take on the role as a volunteer. i'll go to indonesia, or sri lanka to help those needy. they realli need our help. pls... all the gods, regardless or race and language, let us all pray for a simple hope, for a better tomorrow.

hahha... merry christmas everyone!!

seriousli i had a gd luff over wat jin and dot wrote for my christmas testimonial. wat a joke.. im totalli speechless. muahahaha

dot gave me a love dice, and jin gave me a box of roche prestige choc.. yummy!!
while exchanging presents, i got a cute doggy pencil holder frm kaili.
santa also said he'll gimme a teddy bear tt looked like de forever frenz' bear (who's santa?? i shall not divulge as he doesn't wana be named)

lalallala...later we're goin for steamboat at Tian Tian steamboat near bugis area. gramma, dad, mom, aunt, me and aaron. w0o h0o0!!

okies, gtg now and shower. i'm goin to visit my ah ma, so long nv see her alreadi. hope she's well. see yas everybody!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!! =P

is christmas tt merry?? hmm.. i don't noe. thr's sth going on in my mind but i cant explain it.

saw snr in sch todae. my heart stop pounding and my blood turned cold and freeze. hahha. dun get me wrong, not tt i was surprised to see him, but i was shocked. a rude shock u can imagine. we were tokin outside megabites when i accidentalli turn my head and found him standing 1M away, staring at me. *faintzz* freaky man!! i felt as though my heart found its way to my mouth for a moment. i didnt noe wat to do, but to blurt out a 'err...hi!' lolz. it was terrible. and also at de busstop, he was thr! sandy was asking me if he changed his specs, well, i guess so. but its non-of-my-biz. hahahhaa... scary lei.... he gives me creeps and jitters down my back.

neway, todae is christmas eve's eve. we all went swensens for ice cream and logcake. i tot i onli promised to treat them de logcake, yet i can't explain wat happen to de $$i got back. hhaha, but nvm la. was fun indeed!guys were tokin like young sch boys and de gals were yakking away like siao char bohs. muahahaa... onli me and ruiyi concentrated on the 'earthquake'. lolz....

after tt we went ktv at cuppage, while justin and shaf went to play pool. actualli wana join them, coz i noe aaron wasn't inteerested in singing, and i had no plans to sing either. but den i was told he can't go in, coz underage. so we joined de rest instead. i onli sang a few songs. though didnt realli had de chance to sing, but on the other hand, i also have no mood to sing. abit sianz la.hahha...

i can't understand myself. how come when ppl are noisy i'll be quiet. den when ppl are like dead fishes, i'll be like a mad woman wid so much energy tt i duno whr i can let it out. hahhaha... i duno wats wrong wid myself. i'm confused, its complicated. do i realli like him? or isit tt he's too nice so i'm moved and trying to reciprocate? haizz....i duno........ i duno....

*sighz* i'm really very confused and lost... i really wana clarify all the doubts tt has been in my mind. but yet im afraid tt after c;arifying those doubts, it may jeopardise our friendship. but yet i'm very troubled if i don't. somebody pls help!!! he's being too nice, i can't stand it. not tt i don't appreciate ppl being nice to me, but at least i noe their intentions. but tis time round, i don't!! seems to me he's treating me as a very gd fren, but yet in de eyes of other ppl, he's being more den just a fren. tian ahhh...... im going bonkas. dun like such feelings and making me guess. its not a game. neither isit as easy as ABC. arghh... i duno if i shld just tell him straight, coz i'm afraid he isn;t feeling the same way as i do. den wait i malu. heellpppp..............!!!

hello!! hahha.... came back frm penang not long ago. well, dun ask me how was the trip, coz it wasn't really tt enjoyable. haizz.... many things cock up along the way. i'm tired of explaining again. well, hopefully the stupid agency will give as a satisfied explanation of wats going on and apology if necessary, damn fucked up leh!!

anyway, christmas is coming!! tis saturday is christmas!! somehow im not feeling as enthusiastic as before. perhaps becoz grampa is no longer ard. the feeling is different, coz as long i can still remember, he was hospitalised during last yr's christmas. i also dun feel anything for the coming chinese new yr. nth matters anymore...haiz

yest went down to 'enjoy tour agency' to complain abt the trip! PLS PPL! DUN EVER JOIN "ENJOY TOUR AGENCY" coz they suck... or perhaps i tink so. tis is the very 1st time such things happen when i travel to m'sia lor. hahaha.... li juan's face was quite scary when she dun smile... haha, but tt was de effect we need, so as to scare the agency's manager. muahaha...
after tt we all head down to IMM's Long Beach Restaurant to have our dinner and also to celebrate Lynette's bdae. i also duno y i joined them. onli when i see de bill, i regret. hahaha... i mean $21 for such a sumptous dinner is worth it. but den hor, i ana save $$ lei. so after my dinner, came hm online and complain to june, andy and cliff abt me wanting to find a part time job. but they dun hav lobang wor... no $$ = no satisfaction i get frm spending. lolz.

yeah.... they asked me to join them tis sunday go sentosa! so happy! coz i didnt get de satisfaction frm penang's beach... coz we went thr in de nite. (ya la! in de nite, see wat?!!) well, hopefully tis sentosa trip will be a fun one. hahahahha....

haha... i'm so happy and tired at de same time. *yawnz..*

todae met up wid jin and we shopped at far east, she bough me a purple top. lolz... anyway, walked till very tired. den dot joined us for dinner at NYDC, de new open air one outside heeren. den after tt we shopped somemore. de food at NYDC was ok... but de cake i had was fabulous! YUMMY! *slup slupz...* hehhe...

had a happy birthdae, but soemhow couldn't help but feel older. *ouch!!* hhaha. many ppl msg me tis morning and even the afternoon, birthday wishes came flooding in. i'm happy my frenz remembered my bdae! thanx everyone! i realli appreciated it!

my bdae ended nicely.. but somehow, 'nicely' became not so nice. i duno how to describe. WM called me askin me whr i was, i told him i was on de mrt, on de way hm. den he said if he's not wrong my hse is a 2 story one. den meaning he's outside my hse!! hmmm.... den i went hm, he was pacing up and down... den i aske dhim wat he was doin thr, den he say wana pass me present. aiyoz... i was feeling happy of coz. but den come to tink of it. it did seemed tt our relationship is weird. he's treatin me far too nice... i felt uncomfortable. still not used to it. he shook my hand and wished me ahppy birthdae, before quickly leaving. he left me wondering wats tis all abt. y whld a normal yet gd fren give a present outside de hse? he waited approximately 30mins for me to be back. haizz... im confused.

wat a tiring day... but nevertheless im happy! =)

hahha, in just another 1 and a half hrs time, its gona be my birthday, my 20th bdae to be exact. oh... how fast time flies. i'm hitting the big '2' alreadi... hmm...

todae is realli 1 big tiring day! went for AF in the morning, den after tt hui, kaili and me went orchard. kaili gave me a soft toy cow.. how cute! hehhe... den hui told me she's sharing presents wid the rest of them, haha, so we 3 roamed orchard for the whole of the noon, trying to find sth i like. haha.. but in de end hui told me my present still seem to be under budget. well, nvm la... save the $$ and buy me a big present nxt yr. how bt tt?? hahhaa... so in de end i ended up wid a bag frm topshop which i like and also a sleeveless top from nike. its quite nice, considering tt nike now has a new range of soprts wear so colourful. it used to be a single colour.... lolz.

lalala... den after tt, june came and den we went out separate ways. so tired! i walked to crown prince hotel to meet up wid daddy, gramma and auntie, and had our dinner thr. so full!! we ordered many dishes coz its ala-cart buffet. haha.. den we had this new thingy dessert which i have nv tried b4. its actualli red bean soup wid durian!! at 1st it tasted weird. wat i meant was i'm here eating a red bean soup, but it ended up tasting like durian! hahha... but not bad la. still edible... lolz. den me and auntie ordered extra white fungus wid red dates. not bad... coz its cold, so tasted so cooling. can quench my thirst... hehhe....

so happy happi happy!!! =)

*i love my parents, brothers, 2grammas, family and my beloved frenz!!*
*HuGs*

hmm... yesterdae we ordered pizza and kfc delivery for our dinner. yummy! gramma paid for it.. haha, aunt said she'll celebrate for me in advance tis thursdae, coz she wun be free on fridae. nvm la... betta den nth. hahaha... lalala... so happy lei.

topae had mkting in de noon, tot it was quite interesting. weird thing is tt when i was hungry last wk, patricia kept showing me food video. and todae, when im dying of thirst, she kept showing me coca cola videos! hahaha... lalala. after tt i went for cbis consultation. hehe.. he also went. though we didnt tok at all, but de presence was felt. hehhe... im a tingtong....

hahhaa... just now kaili msg me askin if im goin for thurs morning or afternoon AF, coz she say she bought me a bdae present. wana pass to me. so if im goin for de noon class den she can onli give it to me nxt wk. so of coz i'll attend de morning class rite? muahaha... so happii!!!

oh well well... haven been writing anything on my blog, coz im too lazy to do so. hahha... well in a gd mood recently, coz aaron and mom are away to nepal for holiday and my elder bro just left to catch de plane to india tonite. i'll be missing them, coz no1 to quarrel wid me... hahha.

daddy and bro bought me an mp3 yesterday! its a light metallic blue creative muvo slim player.. tot it didnt look nice at 1st. but after a while, i've gotten quite used to it. lolz... but sometimes i still dun realli understand y thr iditna 'stop' button. hahha...

yesterdae woke up at 530am to send mummy and aaron to the airport. stupid lor... wanting to eat breakfast at macdonald's.. but den.. i just couldn't find it!! lolz... den in de end i bought a pkt of choc milk and drank it. den after tt me and alvin took a bus hm. reached hm at 830am, and fell asleep, coz buay than alreadi. was sleeping and dreaming away when i suddenly heard my 2nd aunt's voice.. haha, no wonder. coz she came and wana take gramma out for lunch. alvin had too many last min stuff to do, so couldn't join us. so in de end me, 2nd aunt, my gramma and de maid went to tampines mall's 'fei chiu xiao chu' which is part of the crystal jade's restaurant. i didnt noe how2 order, coz de maid was wid us, ordered some tim sum, which i tot carrot cake was simply just made of carrots, but i was wrong.. they had pork inside. den again, i ordered fried yam, and i realli tot it was just made of purely yam! but den again. thr was pork inside. haha.. so de maid ate a plate of fried beef noodles, which tasted quite gd. den after tt we went metro to shop shop. i bought a yellow top which says 'banana trader' and a light khaki green 3 quarters. haha.. and my 2nd aunt paid for it.. w0o0o....!! happy happy. tink the happiest was my maid. keep grinning frm ear to ear like an idiot. hahahha... coz my 2nd aunt bought her a 'the incredibles' top from bossini, she choose de pink top herself. haha... den i also bought daddy 2 polo collar shirts, sort of a belated bdae gift. and also so tt he could wear them to work. hehhe... after tt when my 2nd aunt was away buying some food to ta bao hm, i went to buy ice cream for my maid. she was so happy... hmm... easily satisfied. true la, coz seldom she can get out of de hse also. lalalala... was a happy day!

hmm... nowadays like keep going out wid de new found grp of frenz. hahha... quite a nice grp, be it ladies or de guys. they're quite fun to be around with. hahha.

oh btw, i also cut my hair. tink it makes me look 10 yrs older!!! eekks!!! im gona cut my hair, so tt wid it being shorter i'll look younger. hahaha.... but waste $$ again... sianz.. =(

yeaaa... yippee~!!!! my bdae is coming... but den hor, my brothers and mom wun be ard to celebrate for me, though they have given me my advance bdae presents. hmm... de hse it very quiet now. only de sound of de computer generator, the fan and de sound of me typing on the keyboard... but anyway, nvm. coz youngest aunt said we'll all go out and have steamboat on my bdae.. hurray!!! and also... i'll be going for a short holiday at penang wid kaili, sandy and her frenz. lalallaa... looking forward to it man! hehhe... i'm too, grinning frm ear to ear like an idiot. haha..

wat a day.... haha! 1 hr and 26 mins ago was still dot's bdae, and now its jin's. hahha... we had a gd time together this evening.

1st jin and i met up to watch Shutter. oh manz... its quite scary, had a fun time screamin away... muahaha... it's a nice show. hhehe

nxt we met up wid dot and proceeded to Petals whr we had our dinner. de service was quite gd and de ambience is nice! but thescenery wasn't tt nice, was it was at de side of the building, so looking ouyt of de window u can see de road and cars. hahah!! we ate, and ate and ate!!! i had a bun wid butter, den followed by mushroom soup... hmm.. yummy! de waiter suggested a cocktail called 'Grasshopper'. indeed it was green in colour, but after a few mouthfuls, it taste damn yucky!! but de lychee cum orange cocktail i ordered was nice!!

and den we had steak, which was de main course. and half way thru de steak i was so bloated alreadi... but didnt wan them to waste de $$, so i finish everything. de steak came wid a side portion of salad, which was quite nice, coz i didnt feel tt i was eating grass... lolz. den we had dessert which we can choose a variety of cakes or ice cream. i asked for a candle, den so funni, de waiter keep popping out beside jin, and coz she chldn't see him frm behind, she was shocked whenever tt waiter pop out frm no whr. hahaha... den they arranged to sing a birthday song for dot... which i tot they were quite listless, and jinb & i were busyin clickin on de camera. hahaha

i had a brownie, jin had rasin and rhum cake and dot had ice cream, but she was given a raspberry cake which was on-de-hse. but in de end, half of it ended up in jin's stomach. muahaha!! so full! lalalla... wonder if i'll get a diarrheoa tonite frm all tt eating!! haha... so mani diff juices flowing in my stomach now. tea, cocktail, mushroom soup, water... oh!!!

fun, fun, we had fun tonite!!! =)
*but den hor, jin & dot is 20 now... aaeuww... another yr older*

TA DAA!!!!!!!!! looks who's back?? ----> emily the lazy girl. hahha... dun be like tt la, i do admit i've been lazy, slackin ard. too lazy to update my blog.

well, last tues mkting class bump rite into jh, de last person on earth i'll like to see appearing infront of me. lolz... it was really accidental, and a damn irritating encounter! kaili and sandy had a great luff over it. stop luffin!!! aint funni ya noe...? spare me.... =(

hahaha.... den had a great long wkend. mostly stayin at hm and sleep. so shiok, but kana many complains. haha.. every1 dun understand how come i can sleep so much. esp gramma, i told her 12 hrs per day is the MINIMUM i need. hahha.. wat rubbish! went swimming wid aaron during the public holidae. haha, stupid boy keep wanting to time me using the stopwatch. so poor me... swimming and struggling to keep up. muahaha!!

went to az's hse on sundae, hair raya. me, aaron, william, satiish and yun zhi had our lunch thr. de food was not bad, but i didnt eat much, coz eating chilli stuff will make me pespire. so u can imagine me tryin to eat while.... hahha! but was nice la! den had ice cream after tt too... speaking of ice cream... yummm... feel like having 1 now too!! =)

nowadays keep raining hor? wat to do?? hmm... lazy emily also dun like to bring an umbrella ard, even though her mummy bought a light weight small umbrella for her convenience sake. hahaha...

i've been tryin very hard to control my expenses! but thr are just so many things i wana buy! like an mp3 player (btw creative gona hav sale btw de 19th to 21st---> take note girls!!), new pair of jeans, cut my hair... buy a watch. so many things!! wah piangz eh...whr to find $$$?? who wana sponser me??? hahahaha... must wait for my bdae, den $$ and presents will start to roll in. oops..!! did i just say tt out loud?? pls forgive me... *devilish grinz*

haizz... tink i haven been in a very gd temper these few days. haizz

on wed, a guy who sat infront of us turned ard and stared hard at sharon and joyce and said 'can u pls pay attention and listen to de lecture?!' woahh... so darn fierce sia!!though he didnt stare at me, somehow i still think he included me wid them, coz we're always together for cbis class. but de prob is we weren't tokin so loud, just once a while askin each other wat de lec wrote or said. and im must say, i'm NOT de 1 who always tok lor... den after class i went down to help them sign attendence when i came back, sharon told me de guy said 2 them 'no offense, but it has been weeks that u all have been tokin' wah lao.. damn fucking shitty arsehole!! pls lor....!! eveb if we did, he could rephrase it in a nicer way rite? y must he tell us in de middle of de lecture, and worse still, he was loud!!! kns kns... damnit fucker!!

haizz... i just quarrelled wid gramma. i mean, i was unhappy wid aaron actually. i mean since he had alreadi recovered frm his fever, den he can eat rice rite? y did gramma tell him he may not like de dishes cooked, so asked him wat he wana eat? i mean y all of de trouble when he has alreadi recovered?! den now she pushed all de blame onto me, sayin ask me 2 buy a pkt of mee also so diff, nxt time if she's de1 who wana eat de mee ........
i mean come on lor, even daddy ask aaron to eat de rice, so y must she tell him out of concern tt he may not like de dishes cooked for lunch!?!? aaron hasn't even seen wat de maid cooked. gramma always complain abt de maid and aaron. i always felt tt she doesn't act de same way as wat she has said! no logic at all!!! she always complain aaron being so rude and naughty, and yet when i or my parents were scolding or wacking him, she'll say we're so noisy, always make so much noise! no link lor... we scold him, she say we're noisy, we hit him, she'll ask us not to hit his head, not to hit his body, just hit hands or butt... wah lao!! den y don't she b de1 hitting or scolding aaron instead?? wat i meant was tt since she was de1 complaining everything, so we act according to her wishes, and when we did, she'll say something else. meaning = niu tou bu dui mah zui!!! understand?? and i explained to her y i was so pissed, but she kept insisting it was my fault, fine den... she's de1 who said everything, she's de1 who complain. everything comes frm her lor....i wanted to explain y ppl are doin this... its actualli coz she's de eldest in de family now, since grampa is gone... tts y OUT OF RESPECT, we don't argue back... but wat i tink is tt she's taking it for granted and always thinkin tt she's rite!!! i dun deny tt sometimes im in de wrong.. but den she also has to shoulder some of de blame also rite??! esp when aaron is realli so incorrigible... if we dun teach him a lesson, he say we're in favour of him. when we teach him a lesson, she say we're noisy and she'll interfer. i mean... don't u tink tt its so difficult trying to please her?? haizz... i realli duno at2 do. even daddy also sometimes is sandwiched inbetween. coz afterall she's his mom, how can be so rude and yell back? but den, thr's always a limit to one's patience lor...

haizzzz.... haizz....i wonder wat grampa thinks....

YIIII HAA!!!

lolz... guess wat i bought todae? ouuhh.... i myself too, was surprised! haha.. i bought a bikini la... its blue wid pokadots, and red outline. lolz... quite nice actualli.... hahaha!! was at 1st so embarrassed. den until hui kept pursuading me. den i guessed thr was no harm trying. lolz... im s0o0o happy!!! yeahh...

neway, i saw jh on tues during mkting class. he saw me right in de eye, but den he seemed to not recognise me. weird lei.... or maybe he's pretending not to noe i was in de same class as him, as i was pretending too! hahaha....w0o hoo..!

lalallaa....tink hor, must cut down abit on my eating habits... and also exercise more hor? if not like so fat wearing tt... hhmm.... tummy so buldging also. hahahahhaa!!

well well... today's a day to celebrate for 3 ppl. it's william's, yiling's and gramma's birthday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! william msg back sayin this is his happiest birthday..wonder wat tt means. but i didnt msg back.

neway, yest is quite a day for me. i was left in such a foul mood. coz i quarrelled wid andy. he la... so kns. i felt so offended over what he said, but he argued tt that wasn't wat he meant. he said i was beoing oversensitive. so fine, i post the same qns to sweeyee and jin, and told them wat he said. they were also offended. but anyway, he said its a misunderstanding. but i was tinkin this all happened coz of him wat. so shldn't he apologise?? sayin 'sorrie' won't hurt lor... but sometimes i tink guys are such thin-skinned creatures tt having to apologise is like wanting their lives. i was so fuming mad at him.. so he asked how isit den i'll not get upset. so i guess he'll havta b more tactful in de future. lolz... his shlder was hurting more this morning. and i felt quite guilty over wat i said yesterdae. i said served him rite for having a dislocated shlder. but he doesn't seem to have a temper. but still, he's de1 at fault... hmnph! but i tink sometimes i'm just too soft. i duno... he doesn't seem to realise when he is stepping on my tail. hahha...but my anger whld be quickly forgotten if de person apologise. but den....

lallala... im so darn full frm de bowl of porridge. later we're gona cut de cake, and in de nite, we're going to a cantonese restaurant near chinatown for dinner. =) nadya and talma are here alreadi... ciao!!

happi 20th birthday junyi!!

hmm... seems like andy really got his forecut a cut... he told me he came out of the lecture wid blood oozing at de wound. so bad.... he was asking if disfigure den nxt time how to find himself a bride? den must buy liaoz... den duno ask me wat. so weird. haha.. but he's a guy mah, so i guess tts not so bad. as for me, a pimple on my face will alreadi leave me screaming into the mirror. a scar on my face will make me cry i tink. lolz... hope he get well soon la. as for the dislocated shlder... abit jialat. duno if he still can write. if can't duno wat to do...luckily we're not having exams now. hmm...i was asking him how he fell, nxt time must show me. hahahhaa...coz de steps in our LT aren't so steep. so i really have no idea how he got a cut like this. poor thing....
andy da ge! must get well soon hor... ^-^ lolz... i wonder how he'll react if i go press his shlder now. hahhahaa... so mean!!!

lalallaa... i just came back frm playing tennis. de floor was so damn wet and i was rolling the floor when i discovered a dead dragon fly! eeekkks!! so disgusting! den coz de floor was wet, i scared wait later i fall again. dun wana tis 2 happen again. hhaha... if not i can go partner wid andy liaoz... one arm dislocated, another 1 wid a sprained ankle. lolz... but the weather is quite nice these few days (i'm tokin abt de temperature). rainy days are gd for sleepin in bed *don't u agree wid me?? =P ) yawnzz.... im getting lazier... o_O *since when emily is not lazy?!* muahahaha...

i was telling mummy abt andy, though i didn't divulge his name. coz i found it very amusing. den suddenly she shot me a qns, asking if i have any suitors. euuuww... gimme a break. i'm onli 20 tis yr. hav plenty of time & opportunities la. hehhehe...coz i DO have suitors. but sadly, non of them are my type. so.... wat for force myself to like someone just to get into a relationship? hahah... den i told her, hav la. i've got jin for myself. she's be my wife. den mummy was like 'cheyy!' and she started luffing. btw, jin, my mum tot ur attached leh, den i said who?? me isit? lolz... so funny. BGR = so troublesome. =(

aiyoz... andy just msg me sayin he fell infront of his class and he has cut his head and got a dislocated shoulder... sounds very bad, he say he can't write for months lei. how how? i wanted to call him and ask, but den duno isit he bluffing me, so i didnt. if its real, den very jialat lei... poor thing...

todae is friday, dun hav class, so slept till 2.30pm. so tired... this sat is junyi's bdae, den sundae is william's and my gramma's! hehhe.. so many ppl having bdaes... so on sundae we're goin to hav porridge for lunch, den at nite goin restuarant. yummmy!!

this wk... hmm... hav another assignment. mkting hav essay to do. den cbis mr chan told us we're gona hav a ssignment soon and also a test!! eeekss... jialat. i haven been able to make a head or tail frm his lecture and now he is goin to give us a test! shiet manz.... must buck up!!

yest me sandy and kaili went chinatown to search for agencies... but so many of them told us they're fully booked. aiyoz... so kaili ask her aunt, who's stayin at KL to help us look for cheap available hotels... den we can make our own arrangements vis coach to KL and genting. mummy said its been a long time since i've been to genting. last trip thr was when i was very young. den gd la... can enjoy again. hahha... but hopefully it wun be tt expensive.. coz i wana join them to taiwan nxt yr. but its so ex.. more ex den goin to HK lei~~!! haizz... den mummy told aaron she may bring him to egypt! *faintz..* egypt has been my 1st destination.. i'm just so fascinated by it! all those mummies and pyramids.. euuw... so awesome!! can't believe... i wana go thr!~!

so bored... sometimes i feel myself slackin away... but very sianz lei.. duno wana do wat. feel so lost! hmm... i wana fly... fly away to a far far island.... =(

haiya! im so lazy.... hahahha

im still doubtful over S's relationship wid her new found bf. i mean, its not tt i'm jealous.. i'm just envious. but den again, they hav onli knew each other for less than 3wks!!! yess!!... and they're considering themselves in a relationship. and K had even brought S to his home for lunch to meet his parents also. weird lei... i realli dun understand. or perhaps is tis wat u call de power of LOVE?? hmmm.... i was askin her wats de rush, she said she herself also not sure. hahha... hope everything turns out fine for both of them.

can sth like tis happen on me? hmm... not sure either. its weird... yet...it sounds abit like a fairytale doesn't it?? ha....

okies, i went to visit de doc on wed after sandy and kaili persuaded me. coz de wound was gettin bad. its painful and dry, i can even talk or eat properli, coz i had difficulties opening my mouth. so i decided to pay de doc a visit. and thankfully... de cream he prescribed was gd. and de wound healed in no time. it was so much betta den in de last few wks. my nitemare will soon be gone! and i can start to talk again... as usual. hahha.. and not shy away and keep quiet coz i hate it when ppl start to stare at my mouth when i speak!! HORRIBLLEEE!!!!!!!!!! arghh

haaha... yeah yeah.. yippee... tml i'm goin to watch MAMMA MIA wid mummy and aunt alice they all. quite excited.... hahha. and den... maybe goin to sentosa on sunday... yeaahhh!!

den again, we're just planning to go m'sia during de 5 days holi... whr to??! KL? malacca? penang? haiyoz... spend $$ again.. no $$ ah!!

Happy 20th birthday Liling!!! lolz....

well, i caught 2 movies in just 2 days, 1 per day. hahha.... yest i went tampines to watch Wimbledon.. cool man!! hahha... i was again motivated to continue playing teninis again. but anyway, aunt alice and i are on bet, coz she wana make sure i live up to my promise to play tennis this coming wkend.. haha... have stopped quite sometimes already. the show was quite exciting coz even in de back rows ppl were yelling for the ball to be hit over de net.. cool!

den todae after sch, i met aaron to watch jackie chan's new show... wooahh!! powerful manz! i tink this is de 1st jackie chan's show tt has shown him as a failure cop 1st, befor surviving de ordeal and be promoted. haha.. de plot was alrite, and acting was all fine. a few crappy and funny scenes and also sad scenes...

lalallaa.... my wound is still healing.. haizz... still visible!! snorezz...jialat sia... tink so long alreadi, its still here, hope tt it'll quickly heal. hahaha...

hahaha, its been sometime since i written anything here. so tired!! and quite sick... i'm well now, except for de ulcer on my gum *PAINFUL!!!* lolz.... tt serves me rite for eating too much chocolate. hahaha.... den ok, let me update u guys wats been happening all this wk.

well, mondae was as boring as ever, thr hrm lecture is really getting on my nerves... i can't relate to what he is teaching!! i keep frowning at him, and my addignment essay is due, haven finish yet. lolz... nxt mondae den i hand in la, heck care.. betta late den nv rite? muahaha. den went to city hall wid sandy to accompany her to de minolta shop. coz her cam hav prob, den i also went to pharmacy to get my scar cream... haizz... =(

ok, den i was a little fereish on mondae nite after taking a nap in de noon... den my throat was so dry and itchy tt i kept coughing... and also, half of de time my nose whld be blocked, either tt, it'll be watery.. *sniff sniff* so i gave de excuse im tired and sick, so i skipped sch on tuesdae.. muahaha... but i was really sick okie?...drank so much liquid at hm, coz gramma cook some sweet chi thingy to smoothen my throat, daddy also has de same prob as me, and he still dare to wallop nearli de whole pkt of deep fried crunchy stuff wid peanuts... tsk tsk tsk...

haha... den wed i had my cbis, this is much betta den hrm, but still, this subject is too dry...all computer stuff.. abit boring mah....also attended econs... haha... and i realised tt thr are more gals den guys.. hahhaa, den hui told amanda i like Mr E, den she told hui his character not very gd la.. *watever... i didnt say i wana marry him rite??*

den todae is thursday!!! hurray!!! yippeee!!!!!!!!!! coz its LONG WEEKEND!! lolz... sandy, kaili & i went BK this afternoon after class to hav our lunch and we did our AF tutorial thr.. not bad, i learnt quite alot of things coz hav sandy to teach me... but i tink she nearli went bonkas over wid my persistant arguing and qns to bombard her. muahaha.. den hui didnt come wid us, tt gal, hmph! afterall she was de 1 to suggest go and study. but anyway, BK at holland V was too noisy, coz nxt door was doing some renovation... arghh...

but nevertheless, im still in gd spirits todae!! hahaha... who can resist long weekends? can slack and enjoy abit, though havta keep up my 'hardworkingness' hahah...den must also read up more, coz i didnt atten mkting, so lagged behind so much!! study study study...

tml is aaron's last paper, wish him all de best la... hope he'll do well... den he can enjoy.. sooo0o0o0o gdd.... *ahh!! den he'll be such a pest at hm.. oh man...hahaha...*

oh.. yummy! i'm eating chocolate now... just now i ate Lays.. tink i'm gona have a sorethroat soon. lolz... (jin & dot always can't wait for me to have a sorethroat, coz they say i sound betta wid a lower pitch voice ----> meaning they find my voice now alittle irritable. muahahha!)

snorez... today is mooncake festival... at 1st tot i can go out wid aaron to play wid sparklers. BUT.. he has to study for his exams. haizzz..... so i'm at hm now slackin again. wat a waste! others seem busy and even hui, who's stayin de nearest to me, wasn't feeling well. haizz....

today had mkting lecture... i purposely asked sandy to sit on the left side of de lecture class, coz usualli jh will sit on de rite, wat de hell, he again appeared sitting just 1 row behind me! wat is he doing!!? he just wana torture me isit? i just pretend i didnt see him again. i realli buay tahan him! i tink he has seen me, of coz i seem to b sitting just 1 row of him everytime. can't he just let me off by sitting somewhr else?! nxt time i'll sit at de back of de class, see how he wana sit... kns kns kns!!!!! arrghhh....... (i'm ready to bite! BEWARE...!)

watched Extreme Gourmet on tv just now.. uewww..... they were eating goat's eye balls!!! yiicckkss!!!! damn disgusting..... yucks.... daddy said they shld cook it a little longer, but doesn't tt makes de ball even tougher? den they had maggot fried rice for dinner... but this doesnt sound as bad as the goat's eye balls... eewwww....! hahha.. i've tried fried scorpions when i was in china not bad lei, crunchy, no special taste at all...

lolz.... hui said she had a nitemare, dreamt or Mr E tt nite, after i was happily yakking abt him. she said she dreamt tt he keep insisting tt she's de one who likes him. lolz... she said i ran off, leaving her alone to deal wid him. muahaha... so funny~! can't believed she even dreamt of him... so far, dun tink i have...we went to parkway lib on mon after i had my hrm lecture..haiz... have to work on my 1st assignment liao... *sianz!* den we keep yakking, though we did study la. but coz we weren't having exams, so can still relax abit. hahha....

happy mooncake festival !! =)

hahha.. im so boh liao.. went to read other ppl's blog, den saw tis quiz thingy frm nu's blog. here it goes..... dun luff k?!! =P

http://www.kwiz.biz/showquiz.php?quizid=2123" method="post">

What Is Your Best Sexual Skill?
Name:
Age:
Sex:	MaleFemale
Sexuality:	StraightGayBisexual
Flirting Skill Level - 89%
Kissing Skill Level - 1%
Cudding Skill Level - 99%
Sex Skill Level - 85%
Why They Love You	You have a way with words.
Why They Hate You	You are too sexy.
This cool quiz by lady_wintermoon - Taken 776015 Times.

New - Kwiz.Biz Astrology and Horoscopes

well, 1 thing for sure, i didn't noe im so damn gd at cuddling, stop luffing will u?? and also, i tink sometimes unconsciously i'll flirt wid guys.. and for tt, i scored quite high for tis section too! haha.. last 1, im not bad at sex also... woahh... *watch out guys!!* muahaha... eh, but bad at kissing.. hmm... nvm la... wid fantastic sex, guys wun care how well i kiss rite? *breaks into fits of laughter*

shiet! it was a waste of my time being thr, de guy who was explaining to us tok non-stop.... and also, hc yak and yak non stop.. buay tahan! so noisy, and i was suffering from a headache from all tt toking... haiyo! luckily after tt we went Sushi Tei for dinner... phew.. but den, it was nitenare for jin and i! she toked so loudly and also, laughed so loud, jin and i were so embarrassed.... but de food weas gd, so i sort of put everything behind me. when we were thr, jin and i were quite suprised to see so many guys and few gals. i was looking ard, when jin asked me wat i was looking.. hahah *guys la.. wat else?* lallala... den met up wid these 2 guys - kenny and andrew, who were both previously from sr. kenny is from dance team la.. not bad looking. hahah... but abit skinny...

tink if i were to wana work part time, havat find some1 else.. sheesh.. my hopes were dashed. so must find another part time job to pay for my diving. ok la.... i tink i'm gona join dennis.. lolz. he said i shldn't stop just at basic. i noe tt! neither do i wish... but its quite ex lei... i'm broke... lolz

yest we ate thai food, todae ate jap food... wonder wats nxt. hahah... tml we're celebrating mooncake festival... so tml's dinner shld be nice! hahaha.... =)

was talking to shir and jin last nite, had a fun time! den coz we were down at esplanade, thr were so mani couples... and i didnt noe y it made me sigh... den jin was asking me if cupids were blind, im not sure lei.. though i noe love IS blind. hahha... i was telling her perhaps our cupids' wings are damaged from too much flying abt. or else, thr aint enuff cupids ard in heaven. haizz.... and when i passby those bridal or ring shops, i'll take a look at them. so pretty to be wearin a bridal dress! lolz... we were sayin nxt time we wana b bridesmaid. den can help to hold de bride's dress... but this depends on who is gettin married, and provided we ourselves dun get married b4 others do. (do u tink tis will happen??) =(

weird.... yesterdae i've received a msg from hui chin, she's telling me she wants to share a job opportunity with me. de weird thing is i'm not even close to her. when asked wats the job abt, she can't ecven reply me straight to the pt. so i asked her den y did u asked me of all ur frenz? and she replied sayin coz she tot of me (sounds a little lesbo) and also, she tot i've got the potential. *potential to do wat??* weird... so i'll be going to her office for this sort of interview wid jin accompanying me. hahha... coz she told me its a part time job and the hrs are very flexible! and she also mentioned tt thr are a few ex-srjcians working thr too, and she'll egt 1 of them to explain it to me. hahha... hope thr are guys in de office wor... lolz

tokin abt guys, haven seen Mr E this wk in sch... how disappointing *have i mention this b4??* hahha...ok... time to get ready and meet her at raffles mrt. hope this won't be a waste of my time. coz she promised its gona b all worth it *sounds too gd to be true...*.

i'll come hm and update wats this job all abt... see ya! ta.... =P

hahha, emily's been a kpo gal. i was just reading wj's blog.. i'm just curious k.... coz i was wondering wat really happened btw he and pj. tts y.. i took a peep. lolz...

well, the 2nd wk of sch certainly passed very quickly. been twice to gym this wk, and today's only friday. hahah.. and i've been to cine 3 times this wk alreadi. aiyoz... caught Les Chorites (how do u spell it??) on monday wid jin after our gym session. This movie was so nice! i tink it was worth the $6.50 i paid. its a story, based on the teeacher's pt of view when he was posted to this boy's sch, full of problems. but he did managed to earn the respect of these boys. and the music he taught them to sing was nice! hahha... *go catch it if u have not*

den on tuesdae, kaili and sandy saved me a seat by the aisle, but i didnt like to sit by de side, so i shifted in. Very much to my horror! jh was just a row behind me. alamak! BIG MISTAKE!! i nearly fainted.. shiet! sandy saw him smiling to himself... but i wasn't sure if he saw me, coz when i walked into de lecture, he just nice took of his specs... *hope he didnt see me*. its so troublesome and tiring to having to stay away from him. coz i'm just afriad tt he might sit nxt to me during lectures (and for the rest of the yr!!) my godness me....sandy had a gd time teasing me abt jh. wah lao eh.... pls dun ever mention this guy infront of me... he gives me creeps. not tt he is tt scary... but i can't help feeling tt way. well, jus take it im abnormal or rather I'M SPECIAL (as i've told andy) hahha....

jin and i are gona meet shirley out for dinner at esplanade tonite. we're going to duno thai express or simply thai... hahha. its been a while since we went thr. confirm thr many couples hor?? oh and btw, i haven see Mr E this whole week! hmm.... wonder wat hapened to him. too bad i dun have any classes tts de same as him. but 1 thing kept me happy this wk was tt hui told june tt i like him. den she said tt we looked compatible (looks, size and hobby wise). muahaha... she made me so0o0o happy! yippee!! i've told every1 tt of coz my taste will make me like some1 tt i find suitable to match me mah. i will not go for a bamboo sticko guy. andy keeps insisting i'm so deep in love wid him. maybe la... or watever. u can't believe if i tell u tis ---> actually i've noticed him from de very 1st day of class. lolz... at least i have some sort of motivation to go to sch, or else i'll fall asleep. but too bad thr aint guys like him in any of my classes. or perhaps i haven seen all of them. hahahha.... so funni! =)

haiz... i also duno wats wrong wid me. andy accidentally stepped on my tail widout realising he did it... i dun blame him, yet i can be irritated easily when he make silly jokes sometimes. aiya! duno la.. den just as my mood was swinging, i find myself being anti guys again. tink its becoz im comparing guys wid HIM again... i noe i shldn't do tt, but sometimes it just comes naturally to compare other guys to him. to me, he's a very gd fren, a sensitive guy, whom no one could ever replace HIM in my heart. this HIM, is some1 whom i known for many yrs, we had quite a few similarites. when tokin to jin, we both agreed tt he's de BEST of guys we've come across. HE is some1 whom i've come to know, but yet, i've missed to catch him. he IS a gd catch, and a very gd one. but unfortunately, he isin't The One for me. so sadly... i duno wat 2 say. i do cherish our friendship, though sometimes i kept tinking of the past. how things will change if we're realli together? frenz told me tt i've missed de opportunity to catch him, he was just within my grasp. so near...yet so far.... perhaps we're just not fated to be together, but just to remain as frenz. but being just frens, i'm really blessed and feel very lucky and fortunate in having to find him among de many ppl i've came to know. HE just simply stood out in the crowd, simply, by just being HIM.

HE is the one (so far) tt i felt differences btw us werent important. i fell hard, when he doesnt reciprocate how i felt for him yrs ago. but nvm, it was many yrs ago....it doesnt change for how i felt for him. a fren may he be, but he is one who has found a place in my heart. i thank god for letting us meet.
=)

ouch ouch! my shlders are lobster red now! so painful... hahha! i just went to wild wild wet (WWW) todae! hahha... its was quite fun, though only a few rides... but i enjoyed it, coz i had a tan..but not a very nice one, coz of de 2cm mark i hav on my left arm. it was thr coz i had to put de sticker ard my wrist coz we rented de tube.. =( so de tan on my left arm is sort of uneven... *shiet!*

anyway, we went thr too earli, it starts at 1pm, but were were thr at 1045am! haha, so hui, kaili and i sat at BK and chit chat. so when de time was up, we went in, onli to find out thr is tis bug grp of guys standing outside WWW's entrance. aiyoz.. duno isit army have free entrance fee for them or they're havin an army outing. tink have ard 50 of them! hahha...*i saw a few not bad looking ones* hahha... den i sat on de tube at de wave pool, when i nearli bumped into him. lolz... hui saw him, den she immediately told me "hey! ur type lei.. big size one" hahhaha... but he's not as big as Mr E la...

these guys are so crazy, when playing de dark hole, those few infront of us scream and shouted so loudly when they're in de tunnel... crazy! making every1 behind them luffing at their sillyness. guys these days... aiyo! lolz...

i bought a bottle of banana boat sun tan oil, but not sure if i've made a mistake of choosing de1 widout SPF. aiyoz... hope my skin will be protected against UV rays...

wonder how im gona sleep tonite... its painful and hot at de back of my shoulders... ouch!

woww... de 1st few days of my yr2 was like woahh... i was late for sch on monday, coz the bus stop at clementi was crowded wid students, duno from nyp or sim. i wasited for 3 to 4 buses b4 actually boarding 1. hahha...tml's thursday and i'll b havin my AF.

i saw Mr E on tuesdae, after lamenting how cum i haven seen him ard in sch. den sandy joked tt he has quit sch.. lolz. well, just as i was tinkin abt tt, he appeared infront of me.. hahhaa! i duno.. i just feel happy when i see him. andy said im madly in love.. sounds abit crazy. but cant blame me la.. haven seen him during the 3 mths long holidae. wonder how he did for his exams... so far, i dun hav any classes wid him. Hui told me tt he and 'mini-eyes' were in de same mkting class as her.. so gd.... dun tink i can change my class, coz it clashes... tokin abt mkting class, i had a hard time avoiding jh. he still duno tt im in de same class as him. sadny kept teasin tt he's alone. wat has tt gota do wid me?! hahha... im just afraid tt he'll sit wid us when he noes tt im thr, esp when he's alone for de lecture! yikes!!.... haha... den blur kaili accidentally flung her shoe hp pouch into the garbage bag. den she went to dig it out, and it was dripping wet wid milk tea! muahaha... sandy and i were luffin so hard tt every1 else were lookin at us. it was damn disgusting man....

hmm.... not sure if its a mistake to take cbis, coz u noe computer stuff is not my cup of tea. den i duno wats de lecturer tokin also... i must thank my lucky stars... haha, coz joyce and sharon are in the same class! pheww... meaning i'll hav company nxt time. hahha, den i icq simon just now, askin him if was in tt class. so he said nxt time we could sit together.. not a bad idea, afterall, guys are betta at such subjects rite? haha, can ask him if i've got any qns nxt time. hmmm... den we went to megabites to have our lunch.. and guess wat?! i saw Mr E again. muahahha.... he was at the both outside, tink odac havin activities again. tokin abt him, i saw his friendster pic wid tis gal again! haiyoz... *wonders if he's attached*

aaron kana wack my daddy tis afternoon, till de cane broke... coz he came home late frm sch after his prelim. den he didnt even call to say he'll be back late. worse, mummy was on half day leave, went to sch to fetch him, but couldn't find him. oops... so de anger was accumulated from last time... and aaron's so suay, coz he just lost his wallet (again!) yesterday... bad luck!....

im now havin classes from mon to thurs, tink im still not havin myself adjusted to this new routine. coz when back from sch, i'm like a dead pig, i need to sleep! hhaha.. den no energy to go gym and exercise! haiyoz... (thr goes my $$...) anyway, i tink thr goes my chance of going to tioman for my advance dive.. coz just quarrelled wid mummy, it was abt my sch stuff. she keep sayin wat wait i dun study i'll fail all my yr2 subjects... how can she say tt? as though im happy to be failing...always comparing me wid others...hmnph! she even ask me switch off de tv..stop me frm watchin. how can....!?

so angry... haizz....andy asked how cum nowadays i seemed to be angry wid every1. maybe im stressed la.. sorrie.... so have mood swings more often. im determined to prove tt i can do well k. i can create miracles...thr's nth i can't achieve if i WANT to...im gona prove to her, everyone else, to myself, and also to grampa. i CAN!! i believe tt was just a minor hiccup, im not just gona fall behind coz of this hiccup...i'll recover and show them wat im capable of. den grampa wun b worried abt me.. he can at least rest in peace. shiet! tokin abt grampa im all sad again.... im STRONG.

nowadays i hav less time and energy to tink of grampa (unlike when i was working). but of coz i still see him everydae, coz of de photo i put on my dressing table.. *i miss him SO much!* okok... im fine. im learning how to cope wid my feelings...though sometimes i feel myself choked wid emotions...and i just havta swallow it back....

okies time to sleep! tml havta wake up at 6.45am *AGAIN!!*... so tt i can at least take a bus instead of mrt.. hahha...(tis morning i saw a Mr E look alike on mrt).. *wink*... hahhaa... =)

phew.. luckily i'm still alive to tell all of u abt it. just now i came home on a motorbike. yap, u heard me.. motorbike! coz we went out to have dinner, den agnes was riding her bike. i tell u, i got a shock when her bike fell at the car park. duno isit her skill not up to standard or i'm too heavy. coz we were goin up tis slope, so maybe she's not used to it. hahha....coz its a bike, so diff from car. while she tot she's ok wid the speed, i tot it was a little fast. maybe coz of de wind, i'm not sure. hahah... noe wat?! i was so terrified tt i grabbed onto de bar at the back of the seat. hence, my hands and legs were numbed, coz i grabbed to tight and plus the vibrations of the motor, worse! hahha...

but it was quite an experience i had. Emily's 1st time on a motorbike! yippy!! =)

oh ya... today's andy's last day at DBS. haha... wonder how's his application to work thr part-time. hahha... yest i joked wid him, asked him to buy either Joyce or Godiva, den shld buy it either on sunday or mon and keep it in the fridge. den he asked me y so late since todae's his last day. so i said bring it to sch on tuesdae, coz its for me. hahha! so funni....

hahha.. im meeting, jun long, miao qi, jasmine and agnes later for dinner at Bakerzin! yeah.. yummy yum yum! lolz... we're the saxaphone section. hahah... too bad a few ppl are missing. ppl like zong ren.. haiz, ever since graduation haven seen him. he seems to be MIA. wonder wats he doing now. perhaps he has even got himself a gf. den his gf must be some1 who can tie him down. haha.. coz tis guy here has eyes for chio bus... his eye is ever roaming... lolz. den deepak.. hmmm... aiya, duno wana ask him. coz his hair is still like Einstein. tink ppl will stare at his bee-hive-style hair. hahha.... we had a gd luff when he came for the christmas bbq last yr. muahaha... tink barbers will have a hard time trimming his hair. i don't tink he go for a haircut lei... (oh i'm such a bad girl, toking bad abt other ppl!) but hor.. he's a genius k! dun play play... he's gd at his studies, which left me wondering if i can get 1% of his brain, den it'll be more den enuff. hahah...

alvin (my elder bro) said tis Diana Degarmo's song - Don't Cry Out Loud, very irritating. he stupid la.. his britney Spears - Toxic, is even worse... kns...just duno how to appreciate nice songs... blehh....!

hahha, tt day me and jin went for lo class, den the instructor was so girly, like sissy like tt. made me luff and luff non stop. we had difficulties coordinating our movements and made a joke out of the whole scene. looks like a ballet dance more than an aerobic exercise. hahha...

oh man! i'm gona be in trouble now... jh is in de same mkting class as me... =(
die la... how to survive like tis? i was sooo shocked, but i just couldn't tell him im in the same class as him. den he was askin if im prettier now... oh manz.. gimme a break. i duno how2 reply him, jin said i shld put "......", instead of replying anymore. wah paingz.. he very the kns... buay tahan him.

spoke to matthew last nite, so long didn't chat wid him...hahha, coz he's busy wid his army thingy at civil defence, and ever since he got himself a gf, which meant tt we have lesser chance of meeting up. hahha... so lucky him and for his gf to have found each other. (hey, did i detect a hint of jealousy?) muahaha... its been real long since we chatted like tis. duno how we broach up the subject of grampa, and boy, M was really such a sensitive and gd fren of mine, he can tell tt i was crying, though i didnt say anything. seldom ppl can detect tt.... only my very gd frenz. hahha, den he call me 'suo mui' = silly gal in cantonese. i call him 'soei zai' = bad boy in cantonese. hahha... so funny. he made me promise to take care of myself, if not he'll stuff me wid bananas.. didnt i just told him i wasn't a chimp?! (only jin loves bananas..., shld stuff her instead, hahha!).
haizz.. realli missed de gd old days...

wat to do? we just keeps getting older... =(

Here's me having my mango pudding at Sweet Dynasty during the HongKong trip. Yummy! Want some?

oh gosh! im so tired. went to amore and exercise today wid jin, actyually we planned to go for the hi/lo after kickboxing, but i was dead tired... can't take it anymore. hahha... we had a fun time exercising, coz tis time we had a different instructor for kickboxing. i'm not sure whether tis class was more tough or just becoz we haven been exercising for quite some time. lolz... but im really glad we picked it up again.

i'm listening to shrek 2 soundtrack now... nice! i mean tis is de kind of soundtrack tt i'll feel perked up and happy... hahah...

read the email aunt forwarded from cousin chong. seems to me he's doing real fine at michigan. hey! dun play play! he's gettin his double degree wid masters wor... lolz. aiya, all along he's been tt ambitious and hadn't let anybody down yet. and reading his email, i had a real gd luff, coz aunt tot wat the commotion and elaborated email was abt, she tot he's gona tell us he's gettin married. actually when reading, i also tot wat kinda big decision he's gona make? like marriage?! but he's only graduating nxt yr. hahaha... den found out his so called BIG DECISION, which took him hours to think abt, was to enter into the ironmen's race. it's a triathlon.... woahh! den he just wana ask us, who is interested and has de time to cheer him till de finishing line. the race is on 26th june. hey hey!! im free... lolz! exams shld be done by then.. wonder if i can join big aunt over thr. they can fly thr ealier coz of cousin chong's graduation ceremony. i can fly thr after my exams. shiok lei! den i can scream loudly.. "AMERICA HERE I COME!!!". hahahha.. its just a wish la, provided my parents willing to spend de $$$.

and also, jin told me pamela is workin at FHM. woah woah!! den she said she saw her pic in bikini widout de flab! hmm... maybe she becum slimmer. but indeed i must agree she has the height.. so its to her advantage. unlike us... so short! hahah... but she's like a giant lei. too tall no gd la. too AA (attract attention). i prefer to be low profile. hehhe... =)

hey... i'm still quite disappointed manz. hahha, tink i just have to live wid it. even brenda manage to pass all her subjects despite being so madly, blindly and crazy in love wid her bf during exam time. guess happy makes her efficient when studying. lolz... so lucky! i'm so envious!

was watching s'pore idol just now... tt malay guy was quite cute, but too bad when i listen to him singing, i can't make out wat he is singing! i can't hear de words and de song seems complicated like wat de judges said. hmmm.... and also, i tot tt daphne (de last contestant) was very lucky to get into de finals. actually, it was de song tt helped her. her voice was alrite, not bad. but somehow i felt tt it wasn't powerful enuff for tt kinda song. but perhaps it was just her style (abit of lazy lazy feeling). i tink de judges are looking for ppl wid de X factor and de rite kind of style. some ppl can sing.... but sometimes they chose de wrong song wid can do them little justice as it just doesn't bring out de best in them. pity tt....and i find it quite lame for contestants who argued wid de judges and say they will get a betta improvement or give a betta performance if they're given de chance to get into finals ------> lame manz! it just proves tt ur desperate. if u have de quality (looks & voice), u'll sure be given de chance mah...but sometimes like i said, competition is strong, and it all goes down to de voters and audience. but till now, tink they've made wise choices by choosing those who can SING and not just becoz of their looks. i had a hearty luff at de suave indian guy from de 1 quarter round. haha.. gd looks but his singing sucks big time. hahha...

tml i'm going down to hand in my time sheet... drag so long liao... so its time to get my butt moving, so tt they can pay me.. find tt $$ is so impt. its true $ can't buy u some of the valuable and precious things like kinship, friendship and love. but it ceertainly can buy us many other material stuff which i find it impt too! -----> like my sch fees. bloody hell, a re-exam of econ will cost me $525 while a new subject will cost $1050. superb ex manz... though my parents will b paying for it, but daddy said i've gota pay de re-sit myself! how can?!!.... thr goes my $$... fly away..fly away....hahha. and also nt sure if i wana meet jin and flora for mudcake, coz my mom said aaron asked her if she chld accompany him 2 de library to study, and since she's not free, she asked me to go. ahhh! den i sit down thr do wat? read story bks?! they say our 8 characters doesn't match, see each other and we'll quarrel within 1 min! nt tt i wana scold him, but sometimes his actions really disgust me. so rude, so dependent on de maid... so kns. hopefully he'll change for de betta when he is in sec sch. if i ever find out he smoke or wat.. he'll get it frm me. maybe i can fight im, i'll ask alvin to do tt. he really got some serious attitude problem.

aiya... wat shall i do? aahhhh.... i'm like a part time 'baby' sitter... tis aaron is really very troublesome....go lib? hmm.. his exams coming also.since im meetin jin on sat, den can give tml a miss hor? mudcake can eat anytime la.. tml i'll call aaron again.

im so damn fucking angry and disappointed at myself for having to fail econs!!! bloody hell!! can't believe it.. tink my luck is running out... tis is my VERY 1ST time failing at a major exam!! haizzz.... im realli very very super duper disappointed. y did they bother to gimme such high marks for maths when im failing my econs? make no sense rite? and de irony is such tt i passed my soci, which i really tot i whld fail. i passed by 4 marks... and tis so valuable 4 marks is missing from my econs marks... which meant tt i passed soci by 4 marks and failed econs by 4 marks. 4 MARKS!!!! can i do a mark transfer from math to econs? arrghhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!! de funny thing is tt i've got company man.... hui also failed her econs, but sandy managed to pass everything. good for her. i admit tt abit jealous, but i dun understand y they all can pass but i can't! im so frustrated... coz i did betta den them for econs during de mock and i hardly studied for it. that stupid amos.. i'm gona get him. amos is my Uk econs lecturer... how cum he just cant pass me. haiizzzz...........i really really tot i whld definately pass my econs, coz de exam seemed so... so... managable. i'm not joking... coz i found a few qns familiar. thr goes my effort...

heaven is playin such a big joke on me! and i can't afford to....i'm desperate! haizz.... so disappointed. i msg mom, dad and aunt tellin them my results. and surprisingly, mom said nevermind, try harder next time. pheww... guessed they knew how much stress i was going thru at tt time. i realli tried... though abit last min. who wants to fail? i hate failures... i do push myself. so tink i must start revision early tis time round. i'm gona score during my yr2! i'm gona prove tt a little setback doesn't hurt me. coz i'm EMILY FONG.... 9actually i'm quite used to failing, but not at major examinations)... haizz...

ohh... wow... i didn't realise i'm no longer working anymore. So bored having to stay at home all day long, coz it is so hot and humid! I woke up at 1.25pm this afternoon, thinkin wat i shld do later on. My lunch was so pathetic... rice wid dark soya sauce, wid a bowl of soup and 2 hotdogs. so simple, yet like so bland...

i have to survive on my chewin gum, coz i kept felt like eating potato chips, luckily, thr are non at home for me to munch on... so at least for now i wun put on weight. hahaha! I added jerrad in friendster, and i tink he got a shock of his life! lolz... made me luff to myself. i tink he couldn't believe his eyes... he was asking, if I'm de emily from TNS. obviously i am ya... made me wonder if its a gd or bad news... hahahah! tryin to find my long lost ex-TNS classmates, but somehow, its quite difficult. A few like desmond, mark, wan ting, michelle... so mani! haha.. quite interested to see how mark has become of today. he used to sit infront of me. like to irritate and tease me, and i whld pinch him on his arm for tt. but i tink he seems to like it... or else y he still keep saying me? hahahahha.....i sound so sadistic!! Really had so much fond memories when we were in primary sch. missed those days man! now in sch (SIM) i don't even get to have such close friends, or even a class of my own. so it'll be quite difficult to befriend ppl. though im always wid sandy and huihui, but i still have a class (cbis) which they didn't choose... jialat, den must find some1 i noe, so can attend de class together, or else i'll be alone! oh gosh!!

so bored lei... except watchin tv can kill time...anyone wana go sentosa?? i tink its high time i get a tan... I'm so fair tt on the picture jason (de tour assistant) took for me, my face colour look so close to white!! tian ah!!! btw, did i mentioned jason? haha... he's de assistant tour guide, tall, abit tan and not bad looking. lolz...i whld say tt HK guys are cute, and when we came back S'pore, de standard seems to drop... haha!! S'pore guys are... well..... ok.. lolz....but i tink s'pore guys are more sincere, real, and down to earth... maybe only some of them, not ALL!!

and, wj is an aries!! yes.. he is one. which left me wondering if tt test i did last time was true. nvm abt it... guess such things takes time. i don't like to be rushed...haizz...

tink we'll be expecting our results on wednesday i guess. coz thr hasn't been any word tt we can collect it tml... hold ur breath guys!! pray hard!! =) (i noe grampa whld be thr crossing his fingers and using his newly found magical powers to help me pass all my subjects!)

hahha... i tink i have never slept for so long at one shot. i fell asleep around 1.30am yesterday and i woke up at 5pm this evening!! oh my godness... den check my hp and saw wen jun msg me, asking me if we can meet for coffee some day. haizz... i tink im very bad regarding such bgr matters. or perhaps im just thinking too much. but it was rather obvious tt they're interested tts y they bother to ask for a date. but im realli confused. i duno wat 2 do... i told him see 1st, not sure abt tt. den he replied asking if he's tt scary... haiz. i didnt realli wana show tt de problems lies wid me. so i joked abt sayin yes, he's scary. hahaha... duno la!!

i just came back fomr HK yesterday. and mind u, the things thr ain't cheap! de cheapest t=shirt i can find tt suits my style is at least $18 S$ (which is very rare to find). i bought a few tops, den 2 pair of shoes, 2 pair of slippers, 1 khaki coloured bottoms, 2 bags. well, the HK gals are mostly so pretty wid nice skin. and they all are skinny coz of the healthy diet. den as for the HK guys, most of them are considered cute.. lolz. but i shld say tt cute guys ain't my cup of tea. muahahaha....but regardless of gender, the sales ppl are mostly very nice and patient, unlike the S'pore sales ppl. HK sales ppl will tok 2 u, help u in any way or another. Jin n i stayed at Royal Pacific hotel, which is situated very near the teenagers street. The in-style now is to wear baggy jeans. Unlike S'poreans, HK ppl seldom wear blue jeans. they wear either brown, khaki or other coloured bottoms. and i was down at th 5CM shop when the sales gal, being ever so helpful, taught me how i can either tuck in my jeans into de shoe, or just wrapped it round the ankle when folding it. but..... de jeans ain't cheap.. hahah...but at least cheaper den my Levis jeans.

so tired... yawnzz... and also, i met up wid 10th grand auntie. She's nt realli tt senile as we tot she would be, but rather, she's more hard of hearing. gave her de $ gramma ask me, but she refused. hope she'll live healthily.

when coming back to de airport, we sat in de business class!!! coz de lady back at de HK airport told us de economy class is full, so she put us both thr. shiok man!! we drank de champagne, and the liquor content is so much tt both of us were nearli drunk. i kept drinking water 2 flush down the alcohol. hahha... and de food was not bad, as compared 2 de economy class... we ate until we're so bloated. the chocolate tart was fabulous!! yummy!!

back at de S'pore airport, i cant find de Davidoff perfume tt i wanted 2 smell how it was like. so in de end i bought de DIOR limited edition perfume. Not wanting to see me leaving de airport so dejected, de lady at de perfume store gave me de Davidoff tester perfume for free!!! betta den nothing rite? though only left wid half a bottle.... also gd la! muahahah....

so much so for our HK trip... nxt time we'll noe where to go n shop for teenagers stuff. consider ourselves lucky coz thr are few times we accidentally chanced upon shops in HK simialr to S'pore's heeren lookalike. and they sell many teenagers stuff. and coz Jin wanted 2 buy her converse shoe, we went back to de Ladies Mkt and much to our disappointment and horror!! we walked the same street ard 2 to 3 times looking for the shoe shop! aiy0o0o! how my feet aches... den we quickly took a taxi back to de shoe shop near our hotel, but it was closed for de day as well. so she has to buy from S'pore la.

alrites, im tired, lazy to type anymore. see ya!! =)

oh gosh! its already 2am now... im so tired. Came back from the chinese musical performance at esplanade. It was quite good. the story was abt this monk, his life and contributions. His life was somehow complicated as he had 2 wives.. hahha. den thr was a scene abt his mom's death...it was so touching. i cried after watching n listening, coz i tot of grampa... haizz.

yeahhh! im going HK later.. in just 6 hrs time, i'll be on the plane. HONG KONG here we come!!! im gona buy lotsa stuff back. shoes, shirts, jeans, earrings, watches... yes yes yes!! hahah... im gona take lotsa photos and show it 2 everyone... im so excited, but yet feeling a little irritated by all the fussing. every1 is askin me tons of qns which i find it bothersome. I noe they're concern, but cant they just treat me like my elder bro. when he's going overseas they sometimes dun even noe when he's coming back or leaving.. so COOL hor? hahah...

i'm also goin 2 visit my gramma's sista... so gramma asked daddy to buy some bah kua, so i can give to them. i shall cal them again when i'm thr. duno if 10th granaunt is hard of haering or really senile, coz mom called them in de afternoon and she picked up the phone. mom ask tis, she ans tt. everything is wrong...haha.

yawnzz... so sleepy. usualli when im travelling i'll feel excited n can't sleep. today im feeling otherwise... maybe im REALLY sleepy. Tml's flight is 8am in the morning! i'll havta get up at ard 5.15 am to prepare and leave the hse at ard 6am... aiy0o0oz... coz jin's mom (auntie Lily) dunohow2 drive to my hse... =(
time 2 'train' her... hahha... coz thr'll be more trips coming up. muahahaa

okies, i'll betta go get a quick shower b4 i hop into bed. see ya!

its 2.25am now... my eyes are red and abit swollen from crying... i'm in one of those moods again... im so very very sad. andy say its becoz i refused to drop the stone tts at de bottom of my heart. i can't..... how to?? sighz.... mummy and small aunt said grampa had no reason to return coz he left very peacefully. like no1 torture him etc... but i tot tt i scolded him b4... but andy said its becoz i cared for him. yes... i realli cared alot for him, but regretted wat i did den. i refused to listen to ma, when she told me grampa's days are actualli numbered, so just let him eat wat he want. but i was too stubborn and thick-headed. refused to let him eat such oily food. duno becoz im stubborn tt i realli tot he wouldn't leave us... its wasn't possible. i didnt harboured such tots back den.. no words could ever describe my feelings.

i was on the mrt de other day, heard tis kid called out to his grampa in cantonese. just like the way i use to call my own grampa back den.... i stood thr staring at the old man sitting infront of me... i was shocked and dumbfounded. wat i heard was familiar, yet so strange. guess because i haven realli heard this for quite some time already. i feel as though some1 had used a needle and prick my nerves.....

and todae, when we were at de restuarant, i feel tt sth was missing... actualli coz grampa isn't thr. coz cousin audrey booked a room wid a karaoke set... we used to booked such rms for our mother's day; father's day or other celebrations. it all feels weird.... and strange... yet so familiar...but grampa is missing from the picture..........small aunt said at least he ate alot when we were at de restuarant b4 everything happened. i recount on tt day at de restuarant. den remembered y he ate so much.... coz i as de1 sitting nxt to him. i was the 1 who kept taking food for him and put onto his plate... helping him to make bits of meat abit smaller...haizz........

today is national day.... haizz... now all celebrations seemed abit weird. doesn't make much sense to me...singing the birthdae song to nadya, i remembered thr was once i went onto stage in the restuarant to sing a birthday song - tink it was to my grampa. coz daddy offered to gimme $10 for it. i took up the challenge, but was left speechless when the english birthday song proceeded to a cantonese version. den daddy had to run to my rescue, out of the embarrasment i had. haizz.....

how isit i can help myself??
i long to run to somewhere, somewhere far... somewhere i can hide. somewhere can find peace and tranquility.............somewhere with only the clouds, sky, grass, flowers and sun.

sounds like heaven eh? sigh.....

ahhh... just woke up coz i fell asleep while outting the face mask on my face. lolz... hahha, i woke up at 1+ this afternoon and ard 2+ yesterdae. well, i must admit i realli love weekends.. coz i feel less stressful. oh n0o0o0.... tml's mondae! sianz... needa go back work. but luckily, my last day with them whld b on the 20th August. I'm realli looking for ward to that, and also to the long weekend this coming wkend. hopefully this long wkend (national day) whld b enjoyable. I'm going for pilates class tml wid jin... hahah... and im also startin on this new diet plan charlene printed out for me. we;ll both start tml. ROFLOL... den we'll hear each other's tummy growling loudly.

Jin and i are planning to go HK rite after my last day at work, just in time to catch the last week of HK's shopping festival. hope tt we'll manage to find a betta price (one that includes airfare and hotel accomodation), hence can have extra $$ to buy more clothes and presents for dot and my other frenz. i kept tellin jin if onli we have a video camera. den i'll act as though im a tour guide, bringing every1 ard HK. so since i'll b on a diet tis wk, meaning i'll save $$ la.. except for dinners outside.

yawnz... y m i forever feeling sleepy? hahha... sounds like andy is toking. he said once 'since when ur not tired?' lolz... sounds correct, im not tired if i whld b able to sleep for 12 hrs or more. but sometimes even if i sleep so much, still not enuff! sth is wrong wid me...

eh, im abit hungry now... tml duno how? cant eat as usual.... sure is a tough challenge. u ask me exercise more still i can manage, u ask me eat less... abit jialat wor. coz needa work, den exercise at de same time.. later i no strength fainted how? (like de woman fainted when we attened 1st day at kickboxing class) hahahha... maybe it'll burn my fats, den like tt i'll b slimmer. but i feel tt after taking on kickboxing, my arms like nt so flabby... or maybe its my imagination??

k... i go n watch tv 1st... den after tt time for bed! see ya.... =)

emotions come to me very easily these few days, tink its becoz of yesterday when we visited the grave. im toking to sweeyee now. she said tt i shldn't cry and be sad, coz grampa whldn't like himself to be the reason for me to be sad. frankly speaking, i haven cried so much all my life. i never knew my heart could ache like this..... never knew tears could come to me so easily. never knew he whould be so far away from me today............
 
i tink im stress over my work. i feel as though im overworking myself, pushing myself into isolation and darkness. i don't noe.... after grampa's death, i had my exams, den after exams i worked. i mean its not tt i don't go out wid my frenz. i dread for the sun to set, i hate the moment when im all alone, having ample time to set my brain cells loose. having time alone means i have the time to tink of the unhappiness... i hate it.. hate it!! i whld love to think of grampa.. but i can't control it when my brain starts to wonder somewhr else.. the whole cycle keeps repeating....everything starts replaying whenever i think of him. again and again and again.... its scary. from tt very moment, to after his death....and to now. reality sucks!
 
i never knew my heart could ache like this... its very terrible...... its so painful tt no words could ever describe this feeling. i'm scared the whole cycle whld repeat itself... coz i still have 2 grammas here. just went visttin ah ma in the evening, she refused to let me go hm when im leaving. i tink i'll visit her more often nxt time. thinking of grampa, now i realise actually both of my grammas are also deteriorating. they're getting more skinny... im really very scared.
 
i yearn for peace and tranquility.

im feeling sad todae... went to grampa's grave in the morning. cant help it when tears started to falling down my cheeks. i didnt force myself to cry, it just came naturally. i was sad. the chanting of the nun brought back painful memories we had back den. even as im typing this now, im overwhlemed by emotions. im sad... he's gone... gone forever... to somewhere i'll never noe, to a place far far away... i can only wish him all the best in his 'future'.  auntie was saying we didnt bring potato chips, den cousin elaine asked me if grampa likes to eat potato chips, and wat kinda flavour. i was sort of dumbfounded.... tis mentioning of potato chips brought back hurtful, painful, heartrenching memories, having remembered how i used to quarrel wid him over a stupid pkt of chips made me realise i was wrong...i wished i hadn't done tt, no matter how reasonable or stupid excuses i had. i realise how selfish i was, how rude i was... if onli..if onli.......
 
y do we only regret after something has happened? i tink tts de nature of us humans. we only regret when its all too late. wishing if only we had done something to change it, or something else instead.
 
 'this world is really very difficult to understand, and actually, im also lazy to try and understand it'
'the mirror is not a flat surface, but a real world'
'i wish i can fly... fly to be by his side...den isit till den i can have his acknowledgement?'
 
this is just a translation of a chinese song la.. im nt some idiot tryin to act like i noe how to write songs. haiz... a trip down to the grave realli is a tough 1 for every1 of us, esp for gramma. i have never cried so much in my life...never learn to cry for a real reason. and this time, i've learn something valuable, something that not everyone is able to feel. coz..... my relationship wid grampa was realli a very close one, and im really very sadden by his death... i really hope god can bring him back.. his departure made me realise tt we shouldn't take everything for granted, though like wat i've just said above, one does not realise tt till sth happen. though i may casually mention grampa's departure infront of frenz, its becoz i regard it as a fact already. but little do most of them noe, in the nite, sometimes i'll tink of him, and cry quietly in my rm. like now, when im typing this, im blowing my nose, dabbing my eyes wid a tissue... coz sometimes gals' mood can do a little swing ya? sometimes i wonder wat will it b like if grampa's still alive..
 
i still can remember his birthday, his last new year with us... wat will be de rest of such occasions without him around? i don't know... sometimes i tink i'm on de brink of a mental breakdown... sometimes i superb sensitive..like during work, sometimes when my colleagues like say me abit, i feel like my world seems to be falling apart. i noe that life isin't always as smooth to sail across, im trying.. im really trying. tt day carol asked me whr are de rest of the clippings, how cum i nv clip. den she looked at me (eyes bigger den mine of coz!) and i sat thr lookin at her duno wat to say. she gaveup and asked charlene to sit in and listen. haiz... i duno isit becoz im too stressed tts y i cant remember things properly or wat. but last wk i realli was very busy rushin my Ck and Celine report, and besides, mine were more impt den her stupid stuff. haizz... i realli needa take a breather. do u noe sometimes when i sleep halfway, i'll suddenli wakeup and asked myself wat im doin in bed? wats de time now? wat day isit? isit time to go to work? and den realise it's a saturday or sunday.... i guess im stress... i duno... tts y i tink it'll be good if i can go on a short holiday or something like tt. going diving or HK may b a gd idea... so after quittin this job, i'll enjoy......   

lolz...guess wat? im here in de office alone! yapz.. im all alone in de office. hehhe... up to some mischieve again? muaha.. hey by the way, i just realise (after working here for 1 mth), that my boss is actually Lee Kwan Yew's niece. which means de old man whu comes into de office is Lee's bro! woahh... no wonder so rich. y dun they recommand some cousins or relatives to me? haha.. preferably rich n handsome. =P

i just ate char siew noodles de maid cook.. i tink outside taste betta. oh by de way jin, i tink nxt wk den i go gym la. coz tis wk abit tired, besides im going 2 my grampa's grave tml, so tonite will b sleeping early. now that i've 'adjusted' my hair, time to 'adjust' my body. noe wat i mean? yeah!

oh, im also saving to go diving. dennis told me he's now an assistant to george to train for dive master. shiok! awesome man! im goin for that too!!! 1st, im going for my advance b4 sch reopens. den after tt i can go for my 15 commited dives (if george will sponser me). hurrayyy!!!

i dread coming to work now... esp having me to sit on that bus for 1hr! as long as i'm goin to sch... snorez....

Congratulations, Emily!
Your IQ score is 113

This number is based on a scientific formula that compares how many questions you answered correctly on the Classic IQ Test relative to others.

Your Intellectual Type is Visual Mathematician. This means you are gifted at spotting patterns — both in pictures and in numbers. These talents combined with your overall high intelligence make you good at understanding the big picture, which is why people trust your instincts and turn to you for direction — especially in the workplace. And that's just some of what we know about you from your test results.

Brown

You're brown, a credible, stable color that's reminiscent of fine wood, rich leather, and wistful melancholy. Most likely, you're a logical, practical person ruled more by your head than your heart. With your inquisitive mind and insatiable curiosity, you're probably a great problem solver. And you always gather all of the facts before coming to a timely, informed decision. Easily intrigued, you're constantly finding new ways to challenge your mind, whether it's by reading the newspaper, playing a trivia game, or composing a piece of music. Brown is an impartial, neutral color, which means you tend to see the difference between fact and opinion easily and are open to many points of view. Trustworthy and steady, you really are a brown at heart.

Get to the heart of the matter. See what happens when one woman has to figure out where her true love lies.

hi...seems tt its been quite some time since i've written anything here.today's a sunday, im slacking at hm, enjoying the wkend. well, im now busy with my work, currently working for Directions M&C pte ltd. my work is abt calling up the media or press abt the publication of coffee bean, mamma mia or my dining rm. and also receiving requests from various top singapore stylist for clothes such as CK, celine and stuff like tt. besides tt, i've got2 flipped thru tons of magazines n cut them out, so tt i can do reports. hmm... I've been thr for abt 1wk already. the 1st wk was superb stressed, perhaps im still new, tryin 2 get settled down n 2 familarise myself with their way of doing things. sometimes my memory is quite bad, so cant remember stuff.. sometimes will kana scolding. lolz...

i'll be working thr till 20th August, till Cecilia returns frm her maternity leave. till den, i'll habta tink of wat i shld occupymyself with till sch reopens on the 13th September. hahaha.... im actually quite comfortable working thr, minus the stress and pressure they give me. but wat do they expect?! im a temp who is doing a perm job leh.. and only paying me $6/hr.. how unfair rite? shld pay me Cecilia's mthly wage. lolz...besides tt, Tina's (the boss) hse is great! with a nice swimming pool..6 maids, nicely decorated living rms.. hehhe! and Charlene has been helping me lots. tink maybe at 1st she abit buay tahan me..but now as i slowly begin to learn their way of doing things, im much betta la..

hmmm.... i longed for a holiday. i wish i can travel somewhr away frm singapore for a period of time. maybe china, taiwan or even malaysia. Mom said tt Siew Moi has been posted to Taipei, so haha, hinting nxt time we can go thr n stay wid her, so de accomodation expenses are saved!

btw, i'll b taking computer based info system in yr2, but seems 2 me tt no1 i noe is taking tis subject! jialat...meaning i've gota start 2 open my mouth n 2 make new frens... i dread to do such stuffs, sometimes i tink its a little troublesome, though i dun mind making more frens...results will be out late august, so hopefully, i'll pass all subjects and move on smoothly to yr2. den another 1.5 yrs, i'll graduate wid a Bachelor of Science in Business degree.. hahahah!! den duno after tt how.. duno work 1st or continue gettin a masters. tt i'll decide later, depending on my results. NO PRESSURE k! lolz..

later got2 visit ah ma, its been like 1 or 2 wks ever since i visit her. so must go... see if she's feeling betta after she's discharged frm de hospital. Mom said she feel like going for SPA...heheh! maybe i can tag along, afterall, the package she bought for me last yr, i haven even been thr once leh. so must try rite? dun waste $$... later thr's an expiry date. muahahaha...

heyhey..im so bored now. lolz.. so i tot of droppin by2 write a new blog la..

i got a shock de other day when jiahao told me he's cuming 2 study at SIM. my 1st reaction was like 'are u serious?! joking r u??' hahah... i told sweeyee n jiarong abt it, n they were luffin their heads off. coz i was askin him if he has frenz cuming over as well, so having company isin't a prob.he said yes, and told me his camp mates will b thr 2.den he continued saying tt few of them are vry handsome, can intro2 me. so its natural 4me 2 say im nt interested...esp having anything2 do wid him. so he tot i was very focused on my studies. so i asked how cum its nt poosible4 me2 be a lesbian instead? at 1st he told me im confusing him, making him worried n he maynt b able2 sleep in de nite.. oh manz... gimme a break! (puipui!!) den i continued tokin abt lesbians..den he was askin me if i dun like guys.. wat a joke..coz he said it'll b a wasted if im realli a les..cum on la..if i realli were 1, i whldn't even hab gone out wid him on a date rite? but tink tt was a bad move...hehhe

jr was askin me, y dun i just give him a chance, coz he seem 2b so persistant. over my dead body manz!! awww...gimme a break, tts de last thing i ever need...i told andy tt i feel very uncomfortable in jh's presence.. nt sure y also.perhaps due2 de fact tt he bared his feelings 2me b4..so i tend 2 wana avoid him. i myself is just as confused...but i realli dun believe tt he still feels tt way.coz its been a yr or so..unless he's so infatuated la..but i doubt so. he's just flirting away. yuckss..tinking abt him makes me wana puke...im serious!! i reali do feel tt way.. my hair stands just de mentioning of him. n he asked if i hab some1 in mind alreadi...

jr n sy said they dun mind 2b my supposedly gfs. haha.. im sure mani others like jin,dot n ll also dun mind la...andy said i shld tell him im attached. dun1 la.. later he ask tis n ask tt...den i'll hab a hard time again rite? whr2 find a guy2 pose as my bf? hahha... i realli pray hard tt we dun end up being in de same class. coz i just found out tt i'll b taking FA in yr2, and coincidentally, he's taking tt in his yr1. my eyes nearli popped out,i nearli screamed, and i was absoutely dumbfounded..... lolz. im nt exageratting k.. i realli do feel tis way.

jr told me i just just tell him i dun feel anything.but since tt time, he haven said anything abt being interested,though its still very obvious. i just take things as it comes la.if he still carries any hope, i shall not b merciful..hahha...if nt i'll just take it tt nth happens...to pretend is my forte.. muahaha...

jin im waiting 4u 2b back so we can catch harry porter 2gether u noe.. u faster get ur ass back here! hope u have a fun time in korea.. btw, im goin on a dive trip nxt wk. this time2 tioman. shiok man! im realli looking 4ward 2it. den nt sure if its end june or earli july we're goin redang.. hehhe..

im feelin much betta nowadays, duno whether if its becoz exams r over, so de heavy load is off my shlders 4de time being. dot just broke up wid zac... she seems ok 2me when i met her4 a swim tt day. coz i tot i needed exercise, and its also gd4 her 2exercise n take her mind off tt.hope she'll cope well wid tt la.. but all along she wasn't tt gd at managing such stuff, so hope she'll b fine tis time. try2 put all de unhappy things behind u, i tink tts de best thing u can do. i mean, i tink i had a worse ordeal as compared2 her, but nevertheless, both matters cause us pain.. if i can see it thru, den i see tt she can also rite?

i still misses grampa alot..but i guess i hab other things2 tink abt rather den puttin my soul n mind on it. i mean.... grampa is realli gone, tt's a fact which i cant change. if i chld & hab de powers, i whld stop tt frm happening of coz.. but i guess its always betta 2tink otherwise.. he maybe betta over at de other side.. 49 days of his death is over.. as according2 de buddhist readings, every1 will recarnate within de 49 days, or on de 49th day. grampa is a gd man, so i realli tink tt he'll find peace, comfort & joy, b it wherever he is, i wish him all de best. i told him i'll miss him, we'll all miss him. im nt sure if he can hear me, but i guess he will feel de same way........sometimes in de middle of de nite, just b4 i go 2bed,i may just tink of him suddenli, and de pain comes back...esp when i tot of tt fateful day.no1 will ever 4get.......

gramma is fine i guess... but still sometimes making a molehill out of nth...but we're all tryin2 give way 2her.

de nxt person im worried abt is ah mah...i went2 visit her on wednesday,got a shock...i dun wish2 say tt...but de way she's behaving, looks like how grampa looked b4 he passed away. so at de thought of tt,i cried....i tink mom noes wat i was tinking,but she was solemn. i noe every1 has2 go thru wat we call de 'life cycle'. but it is de pain tt i feel terrible abt.its true tt we'll b fine after tt,but it is during tt very moment when time passes very slowli...and we wish tt time can turn back....i dun deny tt im afraid tt ah mah will nt last thru. im guilty coz im nt close2 her..coz after 20yrs, i still cant speak a proper sentence of teo chew..like grampa, she has slimmed down alot...and its realli ALOT. de way she looked at me... im afraid.i maybe strong as some of my frenz see me..but im nt sure if i can take such things..esp 2at a go..

though i haven been thru a relationship heart ache, but sometimes i tink tt wat im goin thru seems 2b more n worse den those whu experience breakups... sometimes i tink if onli ppl can tink of other things, de other type of pain tt ppl experience den they'll feel less pain... but guess it depends on every individual.....haizz...if onli...

im realli very frustrated now... coz i doubt thr's any1 who realli understand wats im tinking n how i feel... my heart realli aches. i just quarreled wid my mom over a stupid watermelon. she asked me2 cut half, but i cut de whole thing, so wats de big deal..? den she insists tt im de1 who keeps arguing. FINE!!! so big deal... im always de1 at fault, since when im correct?! wat de $%()*&%!.. in realli very tired of these things, quarrellin, den being misunderstood by others..but im also tired2 clarify de doubts n misunderstandings or watsoever. i cant help it if they wana tink like tis... den its 2 bad! i cant b bothered....

im so damn stressed over here n wat do they noe? NOTHING!! wat de hell... grampa just passed away, im being stucked in tis fucking exams, den sometimes arguing n quarrellin wid others, den habta make sure gramma is ok..... WAT DO THEY TINK I M??!!!! SOME KIND OF SUPER WOMAN?!!!!? dun try2 understand me coz i doubt any1 will... even if i hab frenz whom gramparents passed away also...but whu can realli understand how i feel?!! NONE!!... coz i doubt any1 in my generation r tt close 2their gramparents. i've been living wid grampa since de day i was born..he took me out, den when i grew up, i took him out instead. i volunteered 2take him2 his checkups, bring him 2chinatown 2hab his fav porridge.. though its onli a few times..but i realli tink its alot betta den any1 else...

den now im stucked in tis stupid 1st yr exam.. wid mommy expecting me2 get all A's...u tell me how i shld go abt doin it?!!!! damnit!!! and thr's grampa entering my dream,and on interpretin it, he wans me2 gib my best,puttin in all my effort in my studies...indirectly telling me tt he is worried abt me though he's gone now... SEE WAT I MEAN?!! i doubt any1 will experience tis kinda pain, stress n pressure.........

i tok2 myself when im alone, tinking abt grampa, sometimes tinking nothing.. haizz...tml's my last paper..its gona b over soon..just bear wid another day..1more day...