tadaaa!! i saw porky in sch on monday.. just outside the life. lolz.. he cut his hair.. muaahhaha
Anyway, hmm, caught The Brothers' Grimm on saturday with jin. I must say it was an interesting movie... we got the lovers' seat (coz only single seats were left...) and we sat nxt to this couple, and i tot the guy was a little noisy.. luckily this couple didn't do anything hankie pankie. Hahahaha... the lovers' seat was quite comfortable, but still not big enough for the 2 of us, and i was figgiting throughout the movie... after movie, we went to the this errr, wat do u call it? a showcase of the products of ppl who designed shirts and other stuff themselves. One of the items on display was the arrangement of flowers and wedding related items like flowers on the car, flowers on the door and wedding cutlery etc etc. It was so beautiful... jin told me to remember wat i saw, so nxt time for my wedding i'll have a rough idea of wat to do... hahaha. We walked past many of those wedding boutiques (coz we were at tanjong pagar area) and we were approached by this auntie standing outside 1 of those studios, and she asked if wana take a look at the new designs and wat not. My 1st reaction was 'Do i look like i'm getting married soon??' faintzz... i tink tt auntie didn't open her eyes big and wide enough.. haahaha. But boy! some of those wedding gowns on display are so nice... I like those simple yet look quite grand.. hehhe.
We went to the new retro cafe located just facing the main road now.. its very cosy and it is airconditioned...but its a little stuffy though. hahha, the fish and chips thr is quite nice... and at an affordable price, other cafes usually sell quite expensive. Jin say maybe she'll hold her bdae mini celebration thr.. I was also thinking likewise.. but its not very big, how to accomodate all my frenz? faintz...
hmmm...I crash todae's Mm lecture, but couldn't get in coz the admin lady was sitting outside giving notes. Haiz.. so mafan, made me missed the 1st half of the lecture. I still have a whole stack of notes waiting for me to collect. Suppose to go jb tml, but it postponed to nxt wk, coz J's passport needa be changed. but nvm la, more ppl, more fun rite? hehhe... So tml i'll slack at hm.. tink i betta do some work to read the notes, coz i'm really slacking too much. Betta catch up abit...
Since i'm free tml, mom ask me to go pray ah ma, afterall, tml's the 49th day. actually i'm feeling quite remorseful and ashamed of myself, coz i feel that i'm not as sad now, as compared to last yr when grampa passed away. I do admit i'm closer to my grampa, coz we've been living under the same roof ever since i was born... as for ah ma, i only visit her once a wk, and as i grew older, once a wk became once a fortnight. Haizz... i really regret this. I really miss the things i would do for her when i'm at her place. sometimes we'll buy food that she could swallow, like char kuey teow or chwee kuey.. den i'll try to feed her. Sometimes when we have to leave, i bid her goodbye, she'll grab my hand very tight, refusing to let go. only when i say i'm hungry, going home for dinner, den she'll let go, and ask me to come again...
i cried when i was at kty with hui, J and ry... J sang this song and as i read the lyrics, it really made me think of my grampa and ah ma.. especially grampa, how he left us, leaving gramma alone in this world. She has no one whom she can complain to everyday, and no one whom she can chide everyday. Though now she tries so change her 'target', i think the feeling whld be different. I think my gramparents married at a very young age... so their love lasted for almost 70 yrs. thats a very long time. As for my ah ma, i noe my ah gong passed away a very long time ago, i've not seen him before (except for the 1st time i went to this grave). I must say my ah ma is also a very strong woman, when her husband pass away, she was probably in her late thirties. So alone, she had to raise and feed 3 children, with 1 at china. though my mom and aunt are more dependent and help to work to relieve her workload, my uncle was still very young at that time... they had to make more sacrifices...
The song she sang at the ktv was abt this story of an old grampa and old gramma, the old gramma passed away during war time (or was it the old grampa??),leaving the other one to fend for himself/herself. Their undying love lasted until the other party finally leave the world many yrs later... how touching... haizz...
I'm afraid of my gramma leaving me.. after wat had happened, it not possible not to think of it. I do try and wish to spend more time with her, but yet sometimes i just don't wish to go home. The feeling is contradicting... coz i find that something just feels lacking.. something is missing. Not that any of the furniture is missing.. but grampa is, grampa is missing. He's no longer around. I know it has already been a yr, but it just seems so...so....unbelievable. It seemed like just yesterday i last spoke to him... perhaps its because of the cpiture i put near the mirror. So i get to see him everyday...I'm ashamed of myself, coz i didn't put the photo we took with ah ma. I'm not even sure if there is a photo i took with her, just the 2 of us.
Some memories are best forgotten, yet some memories are meant to be cherished. Some of these memories can't be easily forgotten... no matter how long time has passed. I tried to learn how not to cry, but i failed. I really tried... but if i don;'t cry, i'll feel so terribly miserable inside. Inside feels rotten, burning... it feels like it is trapped inside, wanting and waiting to be let out, to be set free. My heart feels tight, pounding and beating very hard and fast... i feel stifled, there is a lack of oxygen... I'm suffocating.
pls set me free... of the pain that is accumulating everyday.....every single day..
Tuesday, September 27, 2005
Thursday, September 22, 2005
laaalalalalallala....
i've been out very often recently these days... i think i'm still in a holiday mood. oh gosh...!! oh no!! haahaha... when is it i'll get settled down (i mean to have the mood to study, and not to get married).
hmm, let me recap whr and wat i've done these days...
well, went out with the double Js and fg on fri to play pool, and to get lanterns for Mooncake Festival on Sunday... and me, being quite thickskinned, invited myself over to J's house to sample her mom's curry. lolz... and not bad la, its quite nice, though i still like my mom's curry better (sorrie sorrie =X). of coz i have to support my mom rite? haahaha... anyway, yapz, and her mom, being to nice, ask j's bro to pour me a cup of (i duno wat u call tt in english), but thise thingy is used to cook the curry... anyway, it smelled like some perfumed water, very nice... and tasted like ginger water, coz its towards the ending of swallowing it, it somewat tasted a little ... hot? err... no idea, i just swallowed the whole cup (literally...)
hmm.. and i went to sch for msm class on sat morning. den went out wid the gals... we went orchard to shop... and had lunch at Yoshinoya (after much consideration and hesitation). we yakked and gossiped... and H, being very excited and ji dong (as usual), talked with some food in her mouth. And trying very hard not to spit out her food, she unwittingly 'spitted' some salixva on my right arm (coz she was sitting on my right). and oh man! i kept quiet when there was only A drop of her saliva, but as she got more ji dong... more saliva dropletz flew on my arm!~ and i tried to calm her down... muaaahahha.. anyway, we went ard, and i got a pretty nice small sunflower for W. coz after meeting the gals, I went off to NUS with ah swee to catch W shake his bum. lolz... it was quite nice.. except for 2 of the performance, i nearli fell asleep, coz i was so tired after 3 hrs of class and another 5 hrs of walking. but nevertheless, the hiphop part of exhilarating! very nice!!
and on sundae, i went out with the flutist (Jr, ah swee and LL). we had dinner at Marina... yummy! nice, but they 3 childed me for being so greedy and took too mani chicken! hey! seriously, i tot u gals were still hungry, tts y i took so much! haaahaha, luckily L came later and helped us to finish the chicken. heehehe... i like the prawns... yummy!! and gorging ourselves, we went to the field opposite to light our lanterns. NICE! and romantic (minusing the mosquitoes and flies which were busy brushing my legs). and den, we walked this path, and it led us right to the river! we sat thr, and lit candles and with our lanterns, we took many pictures. hehhehe... oh manz, i really missed the times we had in jc... especially the time we spent in the band rm! laughing, and practising for our performances, concerts and during practice. and i especially missed ** sitting nxt to me. muaahaha... anyway, L's leaving for Japan this coming Oct for... 1 WHOLE YR!! oh god.. i'll miss her lei! and she's not coming back for new yr... boo hoo! the 4 of us are gona be separated again... =(
yawnz, and for yesterdae, H, K, S and ah swee and I went JB to shop ard. haahaha.. we had fun! but my limbs really ached man... and i had to bore the 4 of them with my contant laughing madness, my whining and complaining. haahaha, sorrie gals, but my soles are really sore, so i can't walk alot. they had to give in to me, and to sit down somewhr to take a break. we went to City Square, and also to Plaza Pelangi... actually i must say, the shopping thr is quite bad. i mean, perhaps their sense of fashion is differrent from mine. Anyway, i bought a of jeans... for only S$34! cheap rite? yeah... its a bargain... i whld lurv to purchase a few more, but the gal said the other pair which i lurv, doesnt come in my size. how sad... and i bought home 3 Dunkin Donuts! I like the one that had sugar power outside, and it oozes with chocolate inside! its really very nice... and i regretted only buying 1 of that flavour. the other 2 i bought was ok... not as nice as the 1 i had. (slurp slurp...)
i came home, like a dead pig, i was sss0o0o sleepy! i nearly wanted to skip my MM class today, but i thought, its not gd la, afterall, sch term had just started! and wat a way to start a whole new sch term... i must be more hardworking.. coz its my final yr... betta work harder and score well. i pormise... to earn more $ in the future is my motivation to work harder for my final yr now. i wana earn more $, so tt i can buy more nice stuff, and also, to let my parents live more comfortably (not tt they're not comfortable now, but, they maybe able to retire earlier) afterall, my younger is only in sec1 now... so if i were to porvide them monthly amt of stable income, they will be relieved to know their precious jem (ahem! tts me...) has grown up, and is able to take care of herself.
$ $ $, is a rich WOMAN"S world... i'm a woman... muaahahahaa
i've been out very often recently these days... i think i'm still in a holiday mood. oh gosh...!! oh no!! haahaha... when is it i'll get settled down (i mean to have the mood to study, and not to get married).
hmm, let me recap whr and wat i've done these days...
well, went out with the double Js and fg on fri to play pool, and to get lanterns for Mooncake Festival on Sunday... and me, being quite thickskinned, invited myself over to J's house to sample her mom's curry. lolz... and not bad la, its quite nice, though i still like my mom's curry better (sorrie sorrie =X). of coz i have to support my mom rite? haahaha... anyway, yapz, and her mom, being to nice, ask j's bro to pour me a cup of (i duno wat u call tt in english), but thise thingy is used to cook the curry... anyway, it smelled like some perfumed water, very nice... and tasted like ginger water, coz its towards the ending of swallowing it, it somewat tasted a little ... hot? err... no idea, i just swallowed the whole cup (literally...)
hmm.. and i went to sch for msm class on sat morning. den went out wid the gals... we went orchard to shop... and had lunch at Yoshinoya (after much consideration and hesitation). we yakked and gossiped... and H, being very excited and ji dong (as usual), talked with some food in her mouth. And trying very hard not to spit out her food, she unwittingly 'spitted' some salixva on my right arm (coz she was sitting on my right). and oh man! i kept quiet when there was only A drop of her saliva, but as she got more ji dong... more saliva dropletz flew on my arm!~ and i tried to calm her down... muaaahahha.. anyway, we went ard, and i got a pretty nice small sunflower for W. coz after meeting the gals, I went off to NUS with ah swee to catch W shake his bum. lolz... it was quite nice.. except for 2 of the performance, i nearli fell asleep, coz i was so tired after 3 hrs of class and another 5 hrs of walking. but nevertheless, the hiphop part of exhilarating! very nice!!
and on sundae, i went out with the flutist (Jr, ah swee and LL). we had dinner at Marina... yummy! nice, but they 3 childed me for being so greedy and took too mani chicken! hey! seriously, i tot u gals were still hungry, tts y i took so much! haaahaha, luckily L came later and helped us to finish the chicken. heehehe... i like the prawns... yummy!! and gorging ourselves, we went to the field opposite to light our lanterns. NICE! and romantic (minusing the mosquitoes and flies which were busy brushing my legs). and den, we walked this path, and it led us right to the river! we sat thr, and lit candles and with our lanterns, we took many pictures. hehhehe... oh manz, i really missed the times we had in jc... especially the time we spent in the band rm! laughing, and practising for our performances, concerts and during practice. and i especially missed ** sitting nxt to me. muaahaha... anyway, L's leaving for Japan this coming Oct for... 1 WHOLE YR!! oh god.. i'll miss her lei! and she's not coming back for new yr... boo hoo! the 4 of us are gona be separated again... =(
yawnz, and for yesterdae, H, K, S and ah swee and I went JB to shop ard. haahaha.. we had fun! but my limbs really ached man... and i had to bore the 4 of them with my contant laughing madness, my whining and complaining. haahaha, sorrie gals, but my soles are really sore, so i can't walk alot. they had to give in to me, and to sit down somewhr to take a break. we went to City Square, and also to Plaza Pelangi... actually i must say, the shopping thr is quite bad. i mean, perhaps their sense of fashion is differrent from mine. Anyway, i bought a of jeans... for only S$34! cheap rite? yeah... its a bargain... i whld lurv to purchase a few more, but the gal said the other pair which i lurv, doesnt come in my size. how sad... and i bought home 3 Dunkin Donuts! I like the one that had sugar power outside, and it oozes with chocolate inside! its really very nice... and i regretted only buying 1 of that flavour. the other 2 i bought was ok... not as nice as the 1 i had. (slurp slurp...)
i came home, like a dead pig, i was sss0o0o sleepy! i nearly wanted to skip my MM class today, but i thought, its not gd la, afterall, sch term had just started! and wat a way to start a whole new sch term... i must be more hardworking.. coz its my final yr... betta work harder and score well. i pormise... to earn more $ in the future is my motivation to work harder for my final yr now. i wana earn more $, so tt i can buy more nice stuff, and also, to let my parents live more comfortably (not tt they're not comfortable now, but, they maybe able to retire earlier) afterall, my younger is only in sec1 now... so if i were to porvide them monthly amt of stable income, they will be relieved to know their precious jem (ahem! tts me...) has grown up, and is able to take care of herself.
$ $ $, is a rich WOMAN"S world... i'm a woman... muaahahahaa
Thursday, September 15, 2005
This wk is the 1st wk of sch... and everything is going on well...
i'm only having classes on mon, wed and sat... haaha... i feel very slack.. coz i'm only attending sch only 3 days per wk, unlike last yr. Mon was my 1st day... and suddenly SIM seemed very crowded to me, hahha, probably coz they had a bigger intake this yr. Didn't see mickey or porky in sch though... lolz.
i'm feeling much betta recently... probably coz sch has started, and thr is less time for me to daydream. but i still misses my grampa and ah ma... haiz. i keep thinking of how i wana celebrate my birthdae, but den again, i'm sad at the thought that both of them couldn't see me graduate and wear my hat (duno wat u call tt) and robe. i pray that my gramma will be in gd health, to see me graduate... gramma received a phonecall frm grampa's bro, and he was sayin he was admitted into hospital earlier due to some sickness. i was also in the living rm at tt time reading newspapers, and i tot gramma sounded weird, as though she's about to cry. den after puttin down the phone, she was lamenting how old ppl are so prone to sickness... and death.
me: 4th granduncle called to say who admitted into hospital?
gramma: he was admitted into hospital sometime earlier
me: oh i see...
gramma: ya, we're old already la, so prone to sickness and diseases
me: --silence--
gramma: and u'll never predict wat will happen in thr near future, your 8th granduncle is also always in and out of the hospital, just like ur grampa before he dead, treating the hospital like a chalet.
me: --more silence--
and i think i heard her saying dun delay in doing things that are urgent, coz they may just die... =(
yawnz, perhaps some great scientist shld invent immortality pills...hmm... or is tt a bad idea?
i'm only having classes on mon, wed and sat... haaha... i feel very slack.. coz i'm only attending sch only 3 days per wk, unlike last yr. Mon was my 1st day... and suddenly SIM seemed very crowded to me, hahha, probably coz they had a bigger intake this yr. Didn't see mickey or porky in sch though... lolz.
i'm feeling much betta recently... probably coz sch has started, and thr is less time for me to daydream. but i still misses my grampa and ah ma... haiz. i keep thinking of how i wana celebrate my birthdae, but den again, i'm sad at the thought that both of them couldn't see me graduate and wear my hat (duno wat u call tt) and robe. i pray that my gramma will be in gd health, to see me graduate... gramma received a phonecall frm grampa's bro, and he was sayin he was admitted into hospital earlier due to some sickness. i was also in the living rm at tt time reading newspapers, and i tot gramma sounded weird, as though she's about to cry. den after puttin down the phone, she was lamenting how old ppl are so prone to sickness... and death.
me: 4th granduncle called to say who admitted into hospital?
gramma: he was admitted into hospital sometime earlier
me: oh i see...
gramma: ya, we're old already la, so prone to sickness and diseases
me: --silence--
gramma: and u'll never predict wat will happen in thr near future, your 8th granduncle is also always in and out of the hospital, just like ur grampa before he dead, treating the hospital like a chalet.
me: --more silence--
and i think i heard her saying dun delay in doing things that are urgent, coz they may just die... =(
yawnz, perhaps some great scientist shld invent immortality pills...hmm... or is tt a bad idea?
Saturday, September 10, 2005
i'm really enjoying the last wk of my holidays... going out very often, and sleeping more.
went out with my SIM frenz on wed.. or isit thurs?, we went Sentosa. coolz, it was realli fun! i was taught how to play the volleyball in the correct way. we played in pairs, and my partner was damn powerful in his hits! smacking and hitting the ball. Then we played captain's ball, i didnt know it ended up in rugby style coz they were all snatching and pulling each other. hahha... so fun! lastly, we played football... and i'm really very sorrie fg, didnt mean to kick the snad into ur eyes. hahha! But u got back at me when u were trying to get the ball away frm K. haahaha... it was fun.. realli! i didnt realise i actually elbowed some1, and he was complaining all the way, and the unlucky guy got nailed down by my gf coz she accidentalli hooked his feet, and 'poomed!' he landed on all fours on the saad... lolz.. wat a funny sight.
Most of us were tanned, and a few got sunburnt... haaha... i'm so much tanned than last time. though i lurved to be darker, but the tan i have isin't nice, coz of the singlet mark. hmmm....
went to suntec with my mom and aaron on fridae.. they were many ppl at the travel Natas fair. and yeahhh!! i'll be spending christmas in Korea... I'm dreaming of a white.... CHIRSTMAS! yipeee!!! so happy, looking forward to this yr end! but i'll be away from my frenz... coz usually we'll spend christmas together, and having a nice sumptous dinner.
sch term is starting this coming mondae... i miss working at OCBC... wonder how are the recruits at tekong. hahaa!
went out with my SIM frenz on wed.. or isit thurs?, we went Sentosa. coolz, it was realli fun! i was taught how to play the volleyball in the correct way. we played in pairs, and my partner was damn powerful in his hits! smacking and hitting the ball. Then we played captain's ball, i didnt know it ended up in rugby style coz they were all snatching and pulling each other. hahha... so fun! lastly, we played football... and i'm really very sorrie fg, didnt mean to kick the snad into ur eyes. hahha! But u got back at me when u were trying to get the ball away frm K. haahaha... it was fun.. realli! i didnt realise i actually elbowed some1, and he was complaining all the way, and the unlucky guy got nailed down by my gf coz she accidentalli hooked his feet, and 'poomed!' he landed on all fours on the saad... lolz.. wat a funny sight.
Most of us were tanned, and a few got sunburnt... haaha... i'm so much tanned than last time. though i lurved to be darker, but the tan i have isin't nice, coz of the singlet mark. hmmm....
went to suntec with my mom and aaron on fridae.. they were many ppl at the travel Natas fair. and yeahhh!! i'll be spending christmas in Korea... I'm dreaming of a white.... CHIRSTMAS! yipeee!!! so happy, looking forward to this yr end! but i'll be away from my frenz... coz usually we'll spend christmas together, and having a nice sumptous dinner.
sch term is starting this coming mondae... i miss working at OCBC... wonder how are the recruits at tekong. hahaa!
Thursday, September 08, 2005
i don't have the time to think abt other things now... i'm making use of my time before sch starts.. i'm enjoying every single min of it.
I went to bedok jetty to fish on tues nite, and the 4 of us were waiting aimlessly for some stupid fish to eat the bait. but our efforts were fruitless until 7am. when they were many pro uncles who fished 5 to 6 tamans at a go! coolz rite? so in the end we realised the bait we used were wrong. no wonder... so i went to buy the $2 bait... it had mani hooks on it. hahha, it was so exciting and fun! now i finally understand why daddy lurvs fishing so much. i tink its the thrill and the sense of achievement that he likes. i truely agrees....!
so we caught quite alot of fishes... but i tink we chld have caught more if it weren't for the entangling fish hooks. lolz. it was fun guys! thanx... we shld realli try it again.
after fishing, i reached home ard 9.45am in the morning... only to sleep from 10.30 to 12.30pm. and off i went to meet up with the OCBC elite team. Gosh! how i miss them, onli we've onli been apart for a few days onli. hehhe...missed the times when we slacked and worked in the office. the jokes we shared and the gossips we talked behind some1's back. hehhe... and also the number of prawns we ate at marina! boo hoo...! lolz... the number of prawns i stealed frm yh. the OCBC elite team consists of our team leader - candy (aka tweety bird), her assistant - mike (aka mickey), and the members - anson (aka bugs bunny), bryan (aka the gentle giant), yong hsin (aka stitch), victor (aka porky), lynn (aka indu puo - indian lady) and me (aka betty boo!). and of coz ailmer, but he's not realli frm our team though... but we still click very well... =)
1st, me, stitch, mickey and bunny met up and had lunch at sun plaza (can't rem wats de building called). and den tweety and her bf came.. and we played pool. so fun! though i had probs aiming and i seem to like to hit the white ball into the hole as well. haaha. i tink the guys are pro. a lesson to be learnt... free lesson and tips from de guys. And we went arcade to play... mickey and bunny played a stupid game, tt made me luff rite from de beginning to it ended. i was truely amused and it made me realised mickey had very bad rhythmic sense... lolz. and we also played photohunt. and bunny pressed the 'guy' button and all pictures tt came out were guys' photo... and they accused me of being superb alert when i see guys photo. i didnt k.... dun be mistaken... anyway, the guys in the photo weren't handsome either. =P
After tt, we went to suntec's marche for dinner. i realli lurved the food. i guess its my 1st time having enjoy the food thr... yummy! especially the chicken wrap with cheese... delicious! the 7 of us ate like pigs.... and also, i was only joking and pointing to the caramael banana with waffle, and mickey realli ordered it! haaha... but any, it turned out to be so nice! i onli managed to steal 2 bites from it. hehhe... after tt, we went to MS to take a look how it became after the renovation. its my 2nd time thr.... still very confused. and guess who i saw thr? i saw Derrick ( the squirrel look alike in the Superstar compeition). hahha.. he didnt look very tall in reality.
we played arcade again at MS... hahha, and the 4 guys played a game, where they took machine guns, trying to pose and look cool. how funni they looked...
fun hor...? anyway, stitch and giant are goin into NS later this late morning. all the best guys! they'll be real MEN when they are out. we shall meet up again soon... i'll miss all of u!~ now i understand y lynn asked for a hug frm everyone... i also feel like hugging each and everyone of u now. boo hooz...! i lurv u ppl! thanx for being so considerate when my grandmother passed away.
haiz... parting is such sorrow....
I went to bedok jetty to fish on tues nite, and the 4 of us were waiting aimlessly for some stupid fish to eat the bait. but our efforts were fruitless until 7am. when they were many pro uncles who fished 5 to 6 tamans at a go! coolz rite? so in the end we realised the bait we used were wrong. no wonder... so i went to buy the $2 bait... it had mani hooks on it. hahha, it was so exciting and fun! now i finally understand why daddy lurvs fishing so much. i tink its the thrill and the sense of achievement that he likes. i truely agrees....!
so we caught quite alot of fishes... but i tink we chld have caught more if it weren't for the entangling fish hooks. lolz. it was fun guys! thanx... we shld realli try it again.
after fishing, i reached home ard 9.45am in the morning... only to sleep from 10.30 to 12.30pm. and off i went to meet up with the OCBC elite team. Gosh! how i miss them, onli we've onli been apart for a few days onli. hehhe...missed the times when we slacked and worked in the office. the jokes we shared and the gossips we talked behind some1's back. hehhe... and also the number of prawns we ate at marina! boo hoo...! lolz... the number of prawns i stealed frm yh. the OCBC elite team consists of our team leader - candy (aka tweety bird), her assistant - mike (aka mickey), and the members - anson (aka bugs bunny), bryan (aka the gentle giant), yong hsin (aka stitch), victor (aka porky), lynn (aka indu puo - indian lady) and me (aka betty boo!). and of coz ailmer, but he's not realli frm our team though... but we still click very well... =)
1st, me, stitch, mickey and bunny met up and had lunch at sun plaza (can't rem wats de building called). and den tweety and her bf came.. and we played pool. so fun! though i had probs aiming and i seem to like to hit the white ball into the hole as well. haaha. i tink the guys are pro. a lesson to be learnt... free lesson and tips from de guys. And we went arcade to play... mickey and bunny played a stupid game, tt made me luff rite from de beginning to it ended. i was truely amused and it made me realised mickey had very bad rhythmic sense... lolz. and we also played photohunt. and bunny pressed the 'guy' button and all pictures tt came out were guys' photo... and they accused me of being superb alert when i see guys photo. i didnt k.... dun be mistaken... anyway, the guys in the photo weren't handsome either. =P
After tt, we went to suntec's marche for dinner. i realli lurved the food. i guess its my 1st time having enjoy the food thr... yummy! especially the chicken wrap with cheese... delicious! the 7 of us ate like pigs.... and also, i was only joking and pointing to the caramael banana with waffle, and mickey realli ordered it! haaha... but any, it turned out to be so nice! i onli managed to steal 2 bites from it. hehhe... after tt, we went to MS to take a look how it became after the renovation. its my 2nd time thr.... still very confused. and guess who i saw thr? i saw Derrick ( the squirrel look alike in the Superstar compeition). hahha.. he didnt look very tall in reality.
we played arcade again at MS... hahha, and the 4 guys played a game, where they took machine guns, trying to pose and look cool. how funni they looked...
fun hor...? anyway, stitch and giant are goin into NS later this late morning. all the best guys! they'll be real MEN when they are out. we shall meet up again soon... i'll miss all of u!~ now i understand y lynn asked for a hug frm everyone... i also feel like hugging each and everyone of u now. boo hooz...! i lurv u ppl! thanx for being so considerate when my grandmother passed away.
haiz... parting is such sorrow....
Friday, September 02, 2005
okies, things are settled now. I've gotten my results, and the good news is i've managed to pass and clear all my yr2 subjects. its a huge relieve for me. but the bad news is that i didn't score very well, and i also have frenz who didnt do as well... i really feel sorry and sad for them. I'm not being sarcastic or sadist, i really mean what i say...
when i thought my comp is down, i decided to give it a last chance and to click again. Alas! its ok again... wat a miracle. the next thing i knew, i was cursing and swearing for i thought i had failed my AF. But when i looked closer, i finally realised i didn't fail, and on the contrary, manage to scrap it through, just barely... so i was crying again...
I tink i must have been a crybaby these days... crying and crying, not sure what has gotten into me either...
i hate the feeling of being alone at nite, i cry at the slighest thought of grampa and ah ma. i must confess i have tried crying on thr mrt train while on the way to work in the mornings, only to cover up my tears with my awkward yawning... haiz.
i cried while on the way back to s'pore form tioman, not becoz i thought we're gona be left stranded in the sea, but i suddenly thought of grampa and ah ma again. it really hurts so badly that i would really lurv being put into deep sleep forever. i'm really tired from these things... really tired.
I don't understand why is god so cruel to take away our beloved ones, and leave us all being in this wrenched and damned world. Yet god is so merciful to end our beloved ones of their constant sufferings and to take them away to a farway place where they can see and protect us form harm. i'm so confused... very confused.
my frenz tell me not to think so much... yet sometimes its beyond my control if my mind wants to linger and think of the past. i can control my mind, but not my heart..... or can i?
i wish i can be free of pain... i feel lost and trapped in a cage of my own...i am still searching for the key to free me of such pain, to unlock the feeling of being remorseful, guilty, lost and hurt. i really wished there was something i could have done to help my grampa and ah ma. It feels so helpless and painful to see them lying on the hospital bed, yet there is nothing i can do... i feel useless... i can't do anything to lessen their pain.
i can only stand there, seeing their health deteriorate, praying and waiting for a miracle...a miracle which will never happen. how foolish...
i hate myself for not being there more often... i hate myself for not cherishing the wkends when i shld have gone to visit my ah ma. giving stupid excuses like my mom went ahead widout me, or that i'm tired and lazy. i feel so... so.... damned.
but nevertheless, i am really thankful for having frenz around me to cheer me up and to lend me a listening ear. i really do appreciate it... i really do. Thank u...
my heart feels heavy...i am really tired.
all i need is just time... time will wash away the pain...
when i thought my comp is down, i decided to give it a last chance and to click again. Alas! its ok again... wat a miracle. the next thing i knew, i was cursing and swearing for i thought i had failed my AF. But when i looked closer, i finally realised i didn't fail, and on the contrary, manage to scrap it through, just barely... so i was crying again...
I tink i must have been a crybaby these days... crying and crying, not sure what has gotten into me either...
i hate the feeling of being alone at nite, i cry at the slighest thought of grampa and ah ma. i must confess i have tried crying on thr mrt train while on the way to work in the mornings, only to cover up my tears with my awkward yawning... haiz.
i cried while on the way back to s'pore form tioman, not becoz i thought we're gona be left stranded in the sea, but i suddenly thought of grampa and ah ma again. it really hurts so badly that i would really lurv being put into deep sleep forever. i'm really tired from these things... really tired.
I don't understand why is god so cruel to take away our beloved ones, and leave us all being in this wrenched and damned world. Yet god is so merciful to end our beloved ones of their constant sufferings and to take them away to a farway place where they can see and protect us form harm. i'm so confused... very confused.
my frenz tell me not to think so much... yet sometimes its beyond my control if my mind wants to linger and think of the past. i can control my mind, but not my heart..... or can i?
i wish i can be free of pain... i feel lost and trapped in a cage of my own...i am still searching for the key to free me of such pain, to unlock the feeling of being remorseful, guilty, lost and hurt. i really wished there was something i could have done to help my grampa and ah ma. It feels so helpless and painful to see them lying on the hospital bed, yet there is nothing i can do... i feel useless... i can't do anything to lessen their pain.
i can only stand there, seeing their health deteriorate, praying and waiting for a miracle...a miracle which will never happen. how foolish...
i hate myself for not being there more often... i hate myself for not cherishing the wkends when i shld have gone to visit my ah ma. giving stupid excuses like my mom went ahead widout me, or that i'm tired and lazy. i feel so... so.... damned.
but nevertheless, i am really thankful for having frenz around me to cheer me up and to lend me a listening ear. i really do appreciate it... i really do. Thank u...
my heart feels heavy...i am really tired.
all i need is just time... time will wash away the pain...
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