morning! i woke up ard 10am coz hui2 called me. later im goin2 de library 2 study together... so tiring man. tink if she dun call i'll sleep till 12+ for sure.

haizz... nowadays ive been luffin very hard for 1 moment, den sad de other moment. tink if tis is gona continue, i'll becum a mad woman de nxt day. grampa's been hospitalised again. seems tt tis time is quite serious. i mean, coz de doc told us2 b mentally prepared again. im nt sure wats my aunts n dad's decision, whether 2 continue 2 do all methods n ways if he really cant pull thru. haizz... yesterdae i nearli cried on de mrt when i tot abt how he dote on me when i was young.his condition is realli quite bad. he cant walk n tok like he used 2. now he is just thr lyin on de bed... waitin 4a miracle.. waitin 2..... i cant bear2 look at him.

coz he's old alreadi, so wat more can i expect? of coz i'll wish tt he'll b 4ever healthy n livin.. but he's a human. im always tellin ppl 2 b optimistic. but im nt sure if tis time i can do wat i preech. last time i nv tot tt such things will happen 2me. but den.... its so contradicting. coz 1 hand im tellin god 2 save him, 2 perform a miracle. but sometimes when i see tt he's in pain, i wish tt god can alleviate him of his pain. i used 2 tink de 2nd option is a wiser choice. but i cant imagine him leavin me...(oh no, tears...) yapz. but on de other hand i dun wish him 2 suffer anymore pain, coz he has been goin in n out of de hospital lately. its tiring 4 him, n also tiring 4 my aunts n dad. i remember i felt so bad like tis a few yrs back... see, his pain is prolonged till now. back den tt was de 1st time i saw daddy cryin. it was so heartbreakin. i dun dare2 cry infront of him, coz i dun wana him2 worrie. but nt sure if i can do tt now.. coz tt time he was so much stronger even after he left de hospital. now he's on a drip, n his medication has 2 b fed thru de tuve tts inserted thru his nose into de stomach.

im tired... physically n mentally. nt sure how jin mgt 2 get thru tis when her gramma passed away mani yrs ago. i saw tt time she cried quite badly. nt sure if i'll do worse. coz i've been always by his side since i was young. living together under de same roof ever since i was born. shielding me away frm de cane my mom's always holdin when i was young. n ....n......... mani wonderful memories.

shld stop cryin, dun wana my eyes 2b swollen when i go library. actualli im nt sure if i shld study at hm, coz later gramma is alone den she'll start cryin again. but if at hm i'll use de comp den waste my time. maybe later i cum hm earlier lor. haizz.. but my bro is at hm, tink he's nt goin anywhr todae, coz he's havin exams tis wk.