hii every1! hahaz.. finalli u see emily ard here, after mths when jin 1st mentioned tis 2 me. well, sort of bored today (as usual). hahaz.. preparing 4 my exams now, its due in May, so its gona b just another 1 more mth or so. aiyaa.. at least i manage 2 pull myself outta bed at ard 10.10am tis morning. usualli i'll sleep till 11.30am leh..

well, luckily wenjun's aint bothering me anymore. wondering whu's wenjun arent u? so kpo.. well, he's de tpjc guy i 1st mentioned yrs ago. he msg me yesterdae again, askin de ever same old qns like 'r u attached?' or 'do u hab any guys in ur life now?' kns.. and make me get paranoid n edgy again. as i told jin. i tink im some1 livin in de body of a new age gal, but my soul is frm de past few century. neither me myself understands tis rubbish either! i panick when guys ask me out, like some frens say, they're nt askin u2 go n die or marry them, so y worry so much??! but i cant help feelin otherwise... but i tink wenjun's a little pek chek when i tried 2 change de topid a few times. like 4example when he told me he's free every nite n every wkends, i replied sayin 'wow, didnt noe ur tt free...' hahaha... silly me ya? 1of my fren, mr jackal, said tt if i dun feel anything 4 him i shldnt feel tis way. but i was tinkin tt he maybe wrong! coz de other time when my snr, jiahao, asked me out 4a movie n dinner, i freaked out also. but coz my frens all encouraged me, den i went la.. as usual. den i found out i dun feel a thing 4 him. do u call tis desperate?? but sometimes i dun feel least bothered by such bgr problems.

hahhaz... silly blur emily is wat ppl call me. neway, he nv msg me le la.. so i can take a breather now. de weirdest thing tt leaves me wid a billion qnsmarks is tt if i dun msg him, he doesnt msg at all. den when i msg gd msges or morning, den he'll msg back 2 find out how i m, (of coz askin de usual qns again). weird hor??! he's tt guy whu disturbed me yrs ago when i was gona hab my A lvls. dun understand y these ppl like 2 disturb me when im gona hab exams. tt time he himself said tt he will b busy when he's army, den y now changed his mind n asked me out? tt time make me a little upset.. like tellin me "tt grape is so sweet n juicy, but u cant eat it as its nt ripe yet." so wat4 tell me? as if wana leadin me a hope tt cant come true! so knss...

soemtimes im nt sure y i feel like tt. cant help it i tink. i told jin n dot tt ive got a fren whu got a 'male' as his gf.. when he told me tt, i cant help by feelin jealous. i mean, when he told me tt we were frenz (coz of some misunderatandins, so i decided 2 clear de mess la), i was a little happy n also.... a little sad! so i was alittle convinced tt perhaps i was................. a little in lurv wid tis guy. haizzz... but he onli treat me as a very gd fren. i realli cant imagine! i mean... how nice can a guy b towards his gd fren? well let me tell u... he's those kind, who bought me a necklace when he was in thai 4 ocs training. den when i was helpin jin n dot 2 sell roses 4 Vdae, of coz i was kinda excited, den i told him. den he called me n asked how mani roses i wan. weird hor??! i mean... i onli tink tt guys gib roses 2 gals they like. wat4 he give me???? tts y i decided 2 clarify things wid him. so tt he's also nt leadin me... u noe tis guy is 'a guy fren' whu calls me n chat almost everywk or so... but now he has his probs so he didnt la. n i was absoluteli pissed n hurt when i was concern n asked him so hows things goin on.. wid his stupid 'male' gf.. de told me2 give him a break... i was a little heart broken. n i tink by now he doesnt noe tt i was pissed tt day. or perhaps he doesnt hab time 4 tt... nvm la. but he's reali quite a gd catch, i mean, he's a nice guy la. tink some sort like gona extinct frm de world alreadi. he's some1 i trust, some1 who realli can stay back in sch till 8+/9+ to teach me econs... cant imgaine!! haizzz... i shant ask 4 sth tt cant b fufilled. wat a joke man! emily's 4ever liking some1 who onli treats her as a gd fren. den she herself always gets into messy tangling wid ppl she hab no feelings 4. perhaps de cupid's arrow was blunt, shoot wrong person la... hahahahhaha

my grampa was discharged frm hospital last sat... hmm.. he's condition is deteriorating. but he's alreadi 95 tis yr. so wat more can i expect? of coz i wish he'll lived on 4ever... i went 2 de temple de other day when he was in hos 2 pray 4 him. realli hoped tt he'll get betta, though such hopes deosnt realli carry much hope in them. how ironical! ya la.... he cant swallow things now. eatin stuff like porridge almost every meal. so poor thing! den always coughin.. coz water's gettin into his lungs... haizz... jjust pray hard la..

k la.. i wrote alot of rubbish liaoz... so shall stop here now. tonite hab nite class leh... frm 7 to 11pm!! yes.. its 11pm!! den by de time i reach hm it'll b ard 12+/ 1am liaoz.. knss!!!!!!!!!! shall wear slippers. lolz!