I'M GOING CRAZY....!!

no, i'm not singing britney spear's song... i'm really going crazy! on the verge of pulling my hair out from my head. oh no...!!! arghhhhhhhh.......

exams are just 1 mth away... i haven started studying. i mean i did started studying, but... oh... wat am i tokin abt?! sheesh.. i've written notes on my cards, the usual way i whld do when revising for a subject. but i find tt my memory hasn't been very gd lately, or perhaps it has been like this all the time. or isit coz i revision was a flop? i mean, i used to plan wat i shld study for the day, cramming a few subjects into a day. but now... haizz... so after reading this subject, i'd go onto another subject and forgotten wat i've read previously. tian ahhhh!!!!

wat to do, wat shld i do, wat to doo????!!!

last thurs i had this stupid stomach ache for the whole day. tink i was worrying for my exam, den too gan chiong. i dunoo... i dunoo!! i'm freaking out! on 1 hand, very worried abt passing all my subjects, yet on the other hand, don't feel like studying! sort of trying to run away from reality... arrggghh! aunt said 'but this isin't de 1st time ur having exams, so y are u feeling this way?' yes, i noe it does sound stupid, but i can't help but feel anxious. the anxiety is building up in me every min, and every day as every second pass by. i can't help but tink days passes very quickly. i don't like to count down to how many days are left for me to revise!! but... i'm really left with only 1 mth! my 1st paper is on 12th may- economics! 13th may- AF, 17th may - mkting, 27th may- hrm, 2nd june - cbis.

sobzz... i haven felt this way. or rather i did,... last yr! seriously i dont wish for the history to repeat itself, i really desperately wana do well. i...i.......i....
ARRGGHHH!!

grampa's death anniversary is this friday... and same as last yr, i have class on tis very fateful day. haizz... time really flies. a blink of the eye and 1 yr has passed...

today bought gramma 'tao suan' and 'bubu cha cha' for daddy, and ice jelly for me! den gramma paid me $2 after eating. of coz i refused to take de $, but she insists i take it, coz she said i'm still not working permanently now. haizz... of coz i really wana give them a portion of my earnings nxt time. but wat i was afraid of is tt when i finally can come out to the society and work, i wonder if she still can wait tt long. i noe i'll be graduating nxt yr... but 1 yr may seem short, yet it seem long too! i can wait, but the qns is.........can she wait? perhaps i'm being pessimistic, but den, again, things can just happen so suddenly, and sometimes we're just caught off hand. so... well......

i wana do well, i wana exam to b over, i wana go on holiday, i wana sleep till i wake up days later without being awoken by the stupid alarm, i wana exercise, i wana watch movies, i wana play, i wana go to the beach, i wana watch tv as if i'm glued to it, i wana gather with frenz and chat till mid nite, i wana hav sleepovers, i wana read storybooks, i wana THIS, i wana THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WANA DO LOTSA THINGS!!

but this have to wait after my exam...
=(