I don't know what is happening, I may have giving them a wrong impression of me, or perhaps they have interpreted me wrongly. This, I wonder why.... Is it written over my face or what??

From close frenz to frenz who are not that close to me, they seem to have this impression that I have high expectations of my nxt bf-to-be. I'm not sure if i've been giving such impression, but certainly, my expectations aint tt high either. Of coz there are certain expectations (everyone does this too...!). I'm just puzzled by frenz who have told me this... Tian ahh....!!

Was talking to Ad the othe day, asked if he wana come to my bdae party... he asked if its an official invitation, or I'm just asking for the sake of asking. Of coz its an official invitation! But I'm asking him in such a unofficial way coz I'm afraid he may feel awkward coz of being alone at the party. So instead he asked if he can not go.. or rather instead, we go out and have dinner some other day. Oh yeah, becoz of this, i have my reservations... don't ask why, but i always have such reservations. (I told u, i'm just plain weird.. believe me k?) Not tt i don't wana go and claim my present frm him, but... I just can't explain. anyway, he does owe me a present and... for that matter, 2 dinners! Hence I still can't decide or not whether to go... Hmm... he said he thought I'll be more dependent (emotionally) since I'm turning 21 soon. Hey!! It is not a problem of turning 21 soon, or growing up to become a more mature adult. But its just my way of thinking that sets me apart frm some others... My beliefs, thinkings, and fear may change overtime, but certainly, the change whld not be such a big difference!

Arrghhh...I'm also sometimes bewildered over my own decisions and feelings. Ya, according to ESAP, we sometimes will qns our own schemas and such schemas may change overtime under different situations and environment. Lolz... Do i sound professional enuff? hahha!

Anyway, I wana tell those who are coming to my bdae party, a big thank U for all the trouble coming down. And for those who are not coming, due to different reasons... I'm disappointed. I may not say it directly in ur face, but I do feel disappointed. BUT....! A big present may turn my disappointment into happiness. haahaha...