Lolz... i re-did my blog again.. this time with a new skin. Coz i thought it was kinda difficult to read from the old one... This one looks gd too! (or so i thought)

Guess wat time i woke up today? Without the help of the alarm clock, i woke up at 3pm! yeah.. i know im lazy. Thanx... haahaha. I didn't know why i'm so tired. I just felt so drowsy... Slack was what i did the whole day. Was suppose to go jogging, coz the weather was gd today. But i felt so lazy.. so tired.... So i stayed indoors and watch cartoon instead.

Gramma's going for her eye operation tml. I'm kinda worried. I asked if she needed anesthetic... but my dad didnt answer my qns. But thinking to myself.. of coz she needed that jab.. or else, how whld the doctor operate on her eye lids? If there is no anesthetic jab, then she'll blink, den the docs can't operate on her rite? But i'm worried abt the risk of taking that jab..I'm worried abt the side effects.. Coz gramma is already so old (mind u, she's 90), not sure if she can take it. I appreciated tt how this fren of mine told me not to worry abt it, tt the operation whld be fine. Thanx... kinda ease my fears... =)

I thought of accompany her to the hospital, together with my daddy, but i was told my aunt whld be there too. So gramma asked me to stay at hm to look after the maid. Snorezz... I hate doing tt. Lolz.. Maybe i can study a little i guess...

Anyway, i thought of explaining myself here. Just in case some ppl thought I'm suffering from some kinda depression, coz i seem to be always talking abt my late grampa and ah ma. Nope i'm not suffering from depression, but i am just oftenly reminded of them. This is because my grampa passed away last yr, when i was revising for my yr1 exam. It took me around a year to make myself not to always think of it.. but when my ah ma passed away this August...everything reappear again. That is why i'm always reminded of the sad events. Who whldn't lurv to be happy? I am... or i mean, i do. But not when i'm reminded of such events... I am happy to have such a caring family (minus the nagging,bickering) I do have quite interesting parents and siblings. And i have a grp of caring frenz.. whom i really appreciate. I thank everyone for playing a part in my life...even if its just a small part/role.

I don't mean to do the things i do.. like screaming or shouting at my parents, esp my dad and younger bro. Sometimes i'm just frustrated when they don't get me. I'm sorry.. but i just did it again. (No, i'm not singing Britney's song) Daddy just asked me why am i so angry, talking so loudly at him... ya, think i do flare very easily at my family. I guess i took things for granted. Have you ever thought of such things too? I told myself i must mellow down, and appreciate them more...For when I'm growing older each year, they're growing older on the other hand. haizz... this is gona be tough. In fact, nothing is easy.

I laid on bed yesterday nite, thinking of the experiences my frenz told me. One of them had lost her grandparents within the same year. Ya, i know its hard to accept the fact... That is why i'm too afraid to think of that... that grampa will take gramma with him,... that gramma will leave with grampa. I'm not sure how will i react to that. But i'm glad that she's still here. I can celebrate my 21st birthday with her around. And i really pray i can wear my graduation hat and take a picture with her. That's my main aim at this moment. So, i must work hard to pass my final year subjects. But somehow i feel i'm still quite slack even though having to meet up with frenz and to study together. Did i not put in effort? I feel that wat i've read comes in from one ear and out it comes out from another ear... Lolz. But i reassure myself its better than not touching the notes at all. Haahaha.. self assurance!

Somehow i feel more assured and more at ease each time after blogging. Coz i can pour out my sorrows without troubling anyone. No i don't need anyone to pity or feel sorry for me. I just need them to empathise with me... meaning i need them to understand and to think like me. Quite tough huh...Hmmm.

Time to sleep! yawnzz...