i miss my grampa... i really miss him alot... and everytime when i tink of it, my tears starts streaming down my face... i realli cherished those wonderful memories i had wid him around..and tokin abt these makes my heart ache... just like leaving a deep cut in my heart... but i tink gramma's pain is still de deepest. though she looks ok frm de outside, i tink she is still grieving inside...

i dreamt of him this morning, date: 4th May 2004. i dreamt tt he came back 2life, den i was so happy and i even managed 2 hugged him. if i didnt remember it wrongly, he told me2 study hard and 2 put in my best in studying. as de dream was very complicated, i was confused and trying 2 figure out wats happening. so after tt, i went somewhr wid some guy i cant remember. den quarrelled wid a gal, den on de way down an old street, i saw my family crying. my grampa is lying on de coffin, half alive. daddy even scolded me, saying now is de impt period, how can i go missing... den they told me grampa cant is stiff coz de nurse injected some medicine. he was thr, in de coffin, wid a sad face, wid tears at de corner of his eyes...

i still cant really comprehend wats happening. and y m i de only person in de whole family who is able 2dream of grampa... todae i really didnt hab de mood2 joke. but i still continued wid my revision, coz i didnt wana be distracted. since grampa entered my dreams2 tell me abt such things, i must somehow dun disappoint him rite? haizz... im tryin my best... but its all last min work... i told him though, but duno if he know wat im tokin...