Haven got the time and energy to blog recently, coz was busy with Dot's and Jin's birthday... Have been going round to buy their presents, meeting up with them, and spending wonderful time with them. I lurv it!!

Happy 21st Birthday Girls!! May we stay like this forever till we're old...

I'm now busy with my own birthday preparation. Today settled down to have time to check my mails, and saw the proposal Gallery Hotel came out with. I say it really sounds like a wonderful... fantasy birthday celebration. But its quite expensive i must say. I was deciding to celebrate at home when daddy say it wouldn't have the 'feel' of going to a chalet already. Thus, i spend my evening trying to search for available chalets. But most were fully booked, otherwise, the dates aint rite.

Was abt to go to bed when he saw the proposal on my computer, and he asked what was that. I told him, and his reply really surprised me! Daddy told me if it is nice, he is fine with it. wWwwooowWW!! Of coz i whld really lurv the idea of celebrating it at a nice and fanciful poolside. But I don't think its worth the $.. I'll rather spend the $ on food. Have nicer food and stuff... See..... I'm not as spendthrift as some ppl may think of me.

I was thinking of splitting up the celebration into 2 days, the actual day with my frenz and the nxt day with my family. But den... it'll be weird mah. How how how?! haiyoz... headache lei. It maybe because of my constant nagging and irritating grumblings that led my dad to agree with the hotel proposal. But I'm not sure, He doesn't seem to like the idea of celebrating at home. Tian ahhh!!!

Okies, i shld start writing my wishlist rite? Lolz... Just don't buy too bimbotic stuff can already. I'm not used to it.. that is just not me.

For watches: I chld get use to 1 though i don't have the habit of wearing them. I prefer square of rectangular surfaces and those with thick straps. Coz i have quite a big wrist.... Lolz

For wallets: I'm still using my red LV wallet (pls don't ask me if its real or not)...

For bags: I prefer tote bags... But err.. maybe u shldn't buy me the chicken brand i always point to, i think I've changed my mind abt tt.

For perfumes: I have Dior me Dior me not, Ralph Lauren, Dkny Apple, Davidoff Woman, Elizabeth Arden Green tea and Lancome's Oui. --- Quite enuff for a person like me who seldom wears perfume, only when I remember or in the mood to do so. hehhe...

For soft toys: I do lurv soft toys especially teddy bears. But I do have loads of them at home already, so many to the extent I'm force to stuff them into the big plastic box. =(

As for other stuff... I'm still not sure yet. Coz I'm sure most of you shld know, sometimes when i buy something, i may not even use/wear it. hehhe.. so if you're not sure, feel free to ask me. =) Hopefully I'm doing you all a favour by typing out these stuff... But of coz i'll still like the thngs u all buy for me la...

Went to Bugis on Tuesdae after class, actually thought of eating steamboat, but it wasn't open in the afternoon. So proceeded to the coffee shop nearby. Was half way trhough my mee soto when J pointed out there's a plaster in my soup! Oh goodness me...!! Felt a little disgusted... and whenever S and J talked abt it, i feel like puking.. lolz.

Finally we went to have steamboat in the evening after studying a little... had fun there. Yummy yummy!!

Been staying at home these days to watch the 2nd box of Da Chang Jin... Ouuhh... So nice! So exciting! heehe... Poor gal, always framed by ppl... and close ones had all mostly passed away. The gd fighting against the bad. Of coz the gd will triumph in the end rite? Hahha.. but I'm not there yet.. still needa borow the 3rd box of vcds.

Cough cough... sniff sniff sniff... No worries ppl, this IS NOT an emergency red alert of birdflu outbreak. I'm still having a couple of coughs.. and my nose tends to block up in airconditioned rms. But I'm already getting better... with my daily dosage of ice milo... and other stuff. Lolz...

Yesterday was Daddy's birthday.. Happy Birthday daddy!! I forgot to buy him a cake... coz me and Aaron were practically glued to the tv. Nope, ur wrong, we aint watching cartoons... but!.. we were watching this famous Korean drama palace show, Da Chang Jin, from the courtesy of whoever it was, who lent my mom the vcds... But they weren't a complete set!! Oh goodness me... I was still asking Aaron to put on the nxt vcd, when he said tt was the last disk! Lolz... Think mummy was a little paiseh to borrow the whole set all at once. This is quite an interesting Korean drama show. A little unlike frm those melancholy- drama- mamma- tear jerking- 3/4/5 lurv triangle stories. Think most of you must have more or less heard abt this drama. Looking forward to the nxt set... =)

Today wasn't a boring Saturday unlike wat Ay thought. He thought I had a boring and unevenful Sat, tts why my mood wasn't gd just now..No la, I'm just having mood swings, despite having bought 3 tops. hahha.. Jin called me when I was already on my way home. And i was kinda lost, not knowing how to get off the bus, and which or how i can get to Orchard. Luckily... Meng was on the same bus as me and told me thr's this bus 105 frm Toa Payoh tt I can take to Orchard... pheww...! Thanx Meng!

Went to the newly relocated Apple store at Wheelock to get Dot's bdae prez.. we bought her a shuffle. Really... November is a mth tt the bank can declare me bankrupt... 2 best frenz celebrating their bdae... and worse, their bdae is just a day difference. Tian ahh...

We went to have sushi after getting her the shuffle... and den proceeded to shop ard tt area. Went to Zara.. and bought 3 tops.. (shirts or rather). Ya, my maid gave me a perfect excuse to shop, coz duno wat she did to my pink shirt.. it was ruined! Seemed like it was bleached... heehe... But these 3 tops are still affordable la... We also went to Macafe and I had iced latte... it tasted so bitter!.. Know why? Coz we didn't know we had to add sugar in it ourselves.. but Jin's drink was perfectly fine... Totally opposite of mine. Hers was superb sweet! hahhahaha...

Den I suggested catching a movie... And Jin said we shld watch a more 'intellectual' movie.. and we ended up watching Oliver Twist. It was quite a nice movie... suitable for kids... which explains why we saw quite a handful of parents together with their kid in the cinema.. How intellectual it was... lolz... muaahahaa... I sat nxt to this caucasian kid, and was so shocked to see her holding a popcorn tub, and her dad was also holding onto another one too! I told Jin tt gal confirm can't finish.. but when the lights came back after the movie, i saw 2 empty popcorn tubs on the floor! Did she really finished all her popcorn? Or did her dad helped her polish the whole tub? hahha...

Tml going to chinatown's Yum Cha for dim sum. Its my 1st time there to this new restaurant... I lurv to yum cha.. coz you know why? I'm a true blue Cantonese... haahahaaa... nah.. tts crap only. lolz... Tml also going to Dot's bdae chalet... Tink i'm gona be tired on Monday again. Monday blues u call it. Yes I do have it... Its just another manic monday.... yawnz

Yawnz... just woke up, feeling tired as usual. Slept with a blocked nose last nite, stupid Aaron kept farting infront of me.. can't stand him. He has gotten his yr end results... Oh god!It was VERY bad... I took out my own report card to compare, and I was way better than him. Lolz.. and he argued that perhaps my sch set easier papers than his sch.. (dun argue le la...), I flipped to sec3, and to my surprised, I even scored a 93 for my Math D. Ya, perhaps to some of u, this subject is chicken-feet, but I wasn't born bright... meaning I've to put in double the effort just to get the same score as my frenz. I was really very hardworking when i was in sec sch... unlike now... Lolz.

Brought Sm to meet her last nite... He said she was pretty and looking very young... muaahhhaha! So happy for her. But maybe I shld be more tactful.. coz since I didn't like ppl to do such 'introducing' stuff, I shldn't also impose such ideas on others. But somehow, I just did it...haaha, =X She msged me this morning, at... 4 PLUS!! Just to say she didn't see how Sm looked. Hahha.. this gal.

Okies, I have new frenz tagged to my blog... New frenz doesn't mean frenz whom i just knew, but new ppl, new links to my blog. They're all my frenz... fun ones. Spending time with them made time passes quickly... and also helped me forget my troubles and worries. I now have less time to think of the unhappy stuff.

Daddy's birthday is this coming Friday. Talked to mummy and Aunt abt his present, they suggested A handphone whld be a better choice then a massage chair. Alrites den...hope he'll like the handphone we buy, he has been eyeing it.. since.. err... last yr? lolz.


laalalala... this is the elmo song!

haaha... I'm emily the hairdresser todae... Lolz.. Coz todae i helped gramma to wash her hair. Aiyoz... think she haven't washed it since her eye operation. Faintzz... So shampooed it twice.. scrubbed and scratched... She praised say I washed her hair very clean.. heehe...

Went jogging in the evening... jogged 3 rounds around the estate... feeling shiok now after my shower. muaahaha...

yawnzz... Was listening to my ipod, when i came across this song.. it sounded so familiar! And guess? Actually fg was looking for this song.. tt time we heard this at 'This Fashion'. Andy Lau sang this in Cantonese, so I helped him to translate.. and guessed the title of the song. And now... I realli guessed it correctly!! It's called 'Qing shen de yi ju'.. So proud of my cantonese! Aisay... hehehe

Tml's Mondae... another long day in sch... snorezz...

Yesterdae met up with S and Jin.. we went shopping... I bought myself a **. Thought it costs $59.90.. but..!! I only became aware of the price until the cashier told me.. it costs $79.90!! tian ah...! Nearly jumped down the building.

Me -- handed the cashier $60
Cashier: Thank you, its $79.90
Me: Huh??!
Cashier: yours is the ** rite?
Me: ya...
Cashier: Ya its correct... $79.90
Me: oh... ok
Me -- handed the cashier another $10 note
Cashier: oh.. still short of another $10
Me: ^$#(!@... sorrie..
Me -- parted with my $10 sadly...


I left the counter feeling a little idiotic... Lolz.. blur queen lei! Felt so frustrated at myself.. shld have seen the price tag clearly. Must have mixed it up with the others. Faintz...

Went to H's hse last eveing... met up wid Jn to escort him thr.. haaha, coz he didn't know the exact way thr.. Bought 2 bottles of Coke on the way thr.. Was abt to ask him to carry when he offered. Lolz... Litte did i realise, these 2 bottles of Coke did wonders larer on through the nite, coz they contained caffine. Hehhe...

We played majong throughout the nite... watched a little of 'My Sassy Gal' when towards the end, the dvd somehow was unreadable in H's Apple Mac... Lolz.. Jn and A went out to help us buy tea and coffee, when they saw this coffee shop selling Bah Choh Mee... So the 6 of us ended up eating tt at ard 4+am... haahaha...Duno why we were all famished, coz earlier in the nite we had fried bee hoon H's mom bought. It was quite cosy, coz it was raining heavily outside, yet we were all so safe and sound in the hse.

I reached hm at ard 9.45am, and rushed off to my rm to get my clothes and head of to shower. Aaron was sleeping in my rm, with both the aircon, fan and radio switched on!! Aiya... waste electricity again!... So by 10.15am, I was done with my shower and also had my hair blowed dry.. Off to bed i went and shooed him away.. haaha. I woke up at ard 5.30pm this evening.. still feeling superb drowsy... Oh no! Must sleep early tonite or else i'll confirm miss tml's Msm class.

Thanx Hui! Really had a wonderful time at ur hse... Hope we didn't disturb ur family. Hehhe... Shld try this again.. so fun! Lolz... and thanx to J, A, S and Jn for joining in the fun... I really had so much fun despite the lack of sleep!! But nxt wk shld study more.. coz I feel like i'm falling way behind again. Hehhe =P

Hahha... helped Sy celebrate her birthday on Wednesday, together with Ah meng. I treated her to lunch and he bought her a small coffee cake. This gal is a coffee-holic... Lolz. haaha... After which we went ard shoppoing, and she bought a new pair of colourful ballerinas. Hey! I picked it for her u noe.. haaha.

Met up wid H, S and J (my 3 sistas) after Sy went off to meet her sec sch frenz. They came with a motive of helping me to find a suitable dress for my birthday + wedding dinner. My cousin is getting married, yet i do not have a decent dress to wear to her weddings dinner, which will be helpd at Fullerton. Muaahahaa... I tried on a few dresses. The black one was quite cute.. but it didnt have my size, it was sold out already. Too bad.. =(

Happy Belated Deepavali and Selamat Hari Raya!

yawnz...feeling so sleepy. Just came back from Mq's birthday party at Safra chalet... Its quite out of the way, but thank god we had JL las our personal chaffeur. Lolz... She didn't invite many frenz thr, but the place was crowded still... crowded with kids! yeah.. they were running here and there. One boy looked so cute with his protruding tummy... hehhehe!! We played Monopoly there.. can u imagine. But it was quite fun.. and i was declared bankrupt even though having to own the most expensive land. muaahaha... Saw A thr.. think he look more manly now... he look a little like those beach boys with his tanned skin and brown hair. And our senior, Ag, looked like she just came from a biker race with her 'xiao beng' bf.. I call him 'xiao beng' = small ah beng, becoz he is younger den us... and he also looked like an ah beng.. After our monopoly session, we went on to the bowling alley. At 1st, i missed quite a lot of pins.. but after which, i managed to catch up, while the rest was gettin restless and sleepy. lolz...

Overall, the chalet was quite fun... and i was chaffeured home. So i didnt mind staying till so late.. =) And everyone is asking how am I gona celebrate my birthday. Haizz... headache manz. Can i just stay at home and sleep??

Yesterday, we went to sing at K ster, at Lucky Chinatown. I woke up with an itchy throat and started coughing... haizz.. therefore u could have guessed.. I sounded like a chicken... screeching. I couldn't hit the high notes.. and even for low notes, i was kinda choked by my own saliva. After my screeching session with them, we went to Little India's Muthu's Curry for dinner. The food there was great! Or perhaps coz we were all famished? Haahaa... Anyway, i like their sotong and fried fish... yummy! And the ladies were given a complimentary Henna drawing. I had mine done... I think it was quite nice, though it seems a little thick. Xy had trouble keeping her hand to herself, and ended up with stained hands.. Lolz. And we all though it looked shitty... muaahaha.

After which, we continued our trip down to the pasar malam opposite Mustafa. Hehhe...It was quite crowded. we also went to mustafa.. It's my 1st time there... So many ppl shopping for stuff.

Okies its time for my beauty sleep. Ta...!

Haahaha, I was a little bored, so did this test at www.tickle.com. I was somewhat amused by the results.. lolz. See below...


emily, you're a Guardian Angel!

Chances are you've kicked around the idea of settling down on some shady lane with your honey and maybe even thought about having a kid or a couple of pets. Even if you've never cooked a pot roast or picked out fabric for curtains, we'll bet you've got solid nurturing instincts nestled within. That's why, when it comes to your partner, you're the Mother Teresa of romantic relationships. Doing little things like planning cool vacations and jotting a quick love note, tells your partner daily how much you care. This A+ quality not only makes you a compassionate lover, but also a trusted friend.Here's the rub: You're ready to give and give, but sometimes you might get resentful when your significant other doesn't return the favor. It can be difficult for you to let people fend for themselves, but try to focus on maintaining balance. Be sure to look out for number one, and try to indulge yourself as often as you indulge those you care about.

Hmm.. somehow.. i find it a little true. haahaha....

Lolz... i re-did my blog again.. this time with a new skin. Coz i thought it was kinda difficult to read from the old one... This one looks gd too! (or so i thought)

Guess wat time i woke up today? Without the help of the alarm clock, i woke up at 3pm! yeah.. i know im lazy. Thanx... haahaha. I didn't know why i'm so tired. I just felt so drowsy... Slack was what i did the whole day. Was suppose to go jogging, coz the weather was gd today. But i felt so lazy.. so tired.... So i stayed indoors and watch cartoon instead.

Gramma's going for her eye operation tml. I'm kinda worried. I asked if she needed anesthetic... but my dad didnt answer my qns. But thinking to myself.. of coz she needed that jab.. or else, how whld the doctor operate on her eye lids? If there is no anesthetic jab, then she'll blink, den the docs can't operate on her rite? But i'm worried abt the risk of taking that jab..I'm worried abt the side effects.. Coz gramma is already so old (mind u, she's 90), not sure if she can take it. I appreciated tt how this fren of mine told me not to worry abt it, tt the operation whld be fine. Thanx... kinda ease my fears... =)

I thought of accompany her to the hospital, together with my daddy, but i was told my aunt whld be there too. So gramma asked me to stay at hm to look after the maid. Snorezz... I hate doing tt. Lolz.. Maybe i can study a little i guess...

Anyway, i thought of explaining myself here. Just in case some ppl thought I'm suffering from some kinda depression, coz i seem to be always talking abt my late grampa and ah ma. Nope i'm not suffering from depression, but i am just oftenly reminded of them. This is because my grampa passed away last yr, when i was revising for my yr1 exam. It took me around a year to make myself not to always think of it.. but when my ah ma passed away this August...everything reappear again. That is why i'm always reminded of the sad events. Who whldn't lurv to be happy? I am... or i mean, i do. But not when i'm reminded of such events... I am happy to have such a caring family (minus the nagging,bickering) I do have quite interesting parents and siblings. And i have a grp of caring frenz.. whom i really appreciate. I thank everyone for playing a part in my life...even if its just a small part/role.

I don't mean to do the things i do.. like screaming or shouting at my parents, esp my dad and younger bro. Sometimes i'm just frustrated when they don't get me. I'm sorry.. but i just did it again. (No, i'm not singing Britney's song) Daddy just asked me why am i so angry, talking so loudly at him... ya, think i do flare very easily at my family. I guess i took things for granted. Have you ever thought of such things too? I told myself i must mellow down, and appreciate them more...For when I'm growing older each year, they're growing older on the other hand. haizz... this is gona be tough. In fact, nothing is easy.

I laid on bed yesterday nite, thinking of the experiences my frenz told me. One of them had lost her grandparents within the same year. Ya, i know its hard to accept the fact... That is why i'm too afraid to think of that... that grampa will take gramma with him,... that gramma will leave with grampa. I'm not sure how will i react to that. But i'm glad that she's still here. I can celebrate my 21st birthday with her around. And i really pray i can wear my graduation hat and take a picture with her. That's my main aim at this moment. So, i must work hard to pass my final year subjects. But somehow i feel i'm still quite slack even though having to meet up with frenz and to study together. Did i not put in effort? I feel that wat i've read comes in from one ear and out it comes out from another ear... Lolz. But i reassure myself its better than not touching the notes at all. Haahaha.. self assurance!

Somehow i feel more assured and more at ease each time after blogging. Coz i can pour out my sorrows without troubling anyone. No i don't need anyone to pity or feel sorry for me. I just need them to empathise with me... meaning i need them to understand and to think like me. Quite tough huh...Hmmm.

Time to sleep! yawnzz...

HA! What a way to start my day... Had difficulty pulling myself out of bed, just to prove i won't skip my mm class. Was late, hence i took the train instead... Reached clementi mrt.. waiting for the bus, den my hp rang..

'Ring Ringg...'
Me: hello? J ah... wat isit?
J: hello... em ah, tell u ah, class is cancelled!

Faintz... i tot she was joking, but knowing her, don't tink she'll joke abt such stuff.. and its a weird time to joke too. Haiyoz! waste my time, effort, money and precious beauty sleep! Oh manz... My lecturer also cancelled his class yesterday... who knows? He also cancelled today's class... There was no notice at all! aAaarrggg.... Anyway, we proceeded to Mac to have our breakfast.. and later studying at Hans.. Den it started to rain heavily.... REAL heavily.. until our papers nearly flew away... We went off... thought of going into the library to find seats.. but there were none. So we thought of going back to the Mac opposite the lib.. BUT... it was flooded!! Half of the Mac was 'raining' too!! muaahaaahha... the Mac staffs were even using their brooms to push the rain water out of the outlet. And you have seen that for uself... we saw the rainwater from the 2nd lvl... flowing like a mini waterfall.. to lvl 1 of the Mac. Lolz.. how funny... But we managed to get back to Hans.. at least the rain got smaller. Pheewww....

I wonder why it rained the whole day today.. it was very cold... and somehow made me moody. Luckily i had frenz making funny and stupid jokes.. Somehow made my day! =) Duno wat who poke/ touch who's butt... and fond memories of childhood days... hhehehe...

Had dinner at a malay shop near Bugis... the food was ok... the rendang, though quite nice... was overflooded with red chilli oil! Goodness me...

Gave my mopm the bracelet i made for her.. She said its beautiful! yippe...! And she was surprised i made it myself.. yeah! Coz i've always been notorious within my family, for being clumsy.. like a cow in a china shop. haahaaa...But daddy was somewhat fussy abt my master piece. Without wearing his glasses, he could tell my bracelet was a little loose at 1 end! I didn't even see it... lolz. Aiya daddy... it's not even real pearl. Speaking as though its worth some hundred bucks.

I'm tired... feeling cold......Coz of the weather, and partly coz i switched on the aircon full blast just now. ha...

I'm afraid to stay up alone at nite, only to find myself tinking of the past... How weird...Haiz.. shall stop talking abt it..

Hurray! This is my 1st time having do a blog without anyone's help... I mean manual help. heeheehe.

This blog may look cramp, but i lurv this colour! So i'll use it for sometime 1st... before changing another 1 when im free...

Enjoy! =)

I received a shocking news yesterday... that my 8th granduncle had passed away.... Though i address him as Granduncle, he is about the same age as my daddy. Thus meaning he's only 53 years of age...haizz.

Actually life is very brittle.. for you'll know when your time is up. The last time i saw him was during last year's Chinese new year. Grampa was still around I remember... coz I even helped him to cut his nails, scratch his back, apply moisturiser and to help him to wear his new shirt my youngest aunt bought. My granduncle came from China, partly to visit his eldest brother (my grampa) and also partly for a holiday trip. My grampa's birthday falls on 1 week after the Lunar Chinese new year.. so that was the last chance the 3 brothers took a photo together... So now, only 4th granduncle is left. Same for him, his health is also deteriorating... It is sad to see your loved one slowly weakening, yet what you can do is limited. It is not beyond our means to do what is opposite of nature, except to try to make them feel better in this process of deterioration.

I think of grampa and ah ma now and den... It was raining last nite, and before it actually rained, i saw lightning... I remember how Grampa used to cover me with a blanket when i was young. Coz the sound of the thunder always scares me. How he used to shield me from mummy is wacking me with a cane in her hand... He is really my grampa in shiny armour, always there to protect me. He'll always be my beloved grampa...

As for ah ma, though I'm not as close to her as me to my grampa, i still love her. As i grew older, i became more mature. She too, finally saw the beauty in me... my heart.. She is always askin my mom not to scold me. haaha.. come to think of it, it is quite funny. She always praise me, saying I'm gd.. She didn't understand why my mom still keep scolding me.

Actually it is always in times of need, that you'll finally see they beauty in ppl... I mean, this is the time you'll know who treats you best, who is true to you...That is the reason why i do not like ppl who sweet talk..Perhaps that is the reason why I am more straight forward with my words and thoughts.. sometimes speaking without thinking of the consequences behind my words. Hence my Grampa will always be my role model... "Just do it" without complaining. All actions and no words...

Anyway, as we were discussing abt 8th ganduncle, my aunt was saying his wife sure will faint of grieve.. I also thought too.. coz his wife is soo thin. Actually, she led a very sad life. She's scrawny thin, dark... you can tell she has been a worker all her life, facing the harsh reality of life. haizz....

Today's a rainy day.. so nice for sleeping and staying indoors. Having the urge to snuggle under my blanket and to lie there forever.. haaha.

Nth much to do todae.. was listening to the radio, when i heard a familiar song. Reminds me of the days back at OCBC. it goes like this ...

"heyyYyy...hHhheyy BABY!! I wana knowwWwW... if u'll be my gal...!!" (repeat chorus)

That time we were doing our work, feeling so restless, and when this song was aired on the radio, Mr Mickey suggested we ask everyone in the office to dance with this song. haahaa... crazy guy. And he even demonstrated how to clap the hands.. and to dance around. MIss those days... wonder hows everyone. Haven't seen Mickey and Porykey in sch... ever since tt time we met up. Kinda miss everyone...I forgot to mentioned, Stitch called me one nite to ask me abt the Deepavali gathering. He'll be bringing his gf.. wel well. From what he has described, seem to me that this gal is one of a spitfire. I'd better stay my way clear of Stitch just in case there's any misunderstanding. muaahaha...

Spoke to Jin yesterday, think she's very stress up from work. She even broke down in office. Poor gal... Too bad I'm not there to proteact her liao. I used to be dot's and jin's armour... I have the tendency to protect my frenz if they are in trouble...But not now anymore.. coz they are out in the working society. Hopefully, they'll be used to the cruel endless no life working society.

yawnz...I'm sleepy. Oh! It's cartoon time! tata...

Sunday was gramma's birthday... We went to Plaza Parkroyal Hotel for dinner... Dinner was fabulous! Before dinner, i went to the market to help collect the 3kg birthday cake, coz daddy was too tired. muaahaa... It was pouring so i had to walk very slowly coz i was afraid of slipping and crushing the cake.

I think this was the very day gramma was truly happy... smiling away. I wished her happy birthday in cantonese rite after i washed up in the morning. I was glad to see her happy too!

Attended sch as usual on Monday... and my Esap class was in the afternoon. Felt so tired and sleepy... Moreover, the jokes weren't funny... and my lecturer was saying 'if you can't sense lurv, den u are senseless?' hmm... I was a little confused. Later, when he was half way through the lesson, he used chinese funeral as an example. I was feeling kinda uncomfortable.. troubled.. confused, and also tired. So i think i was frowning. Nearly wanted to go out of the class, but didn't coz i was also too lazy to walk out.. sianz. hui asked me why i'm giving such a sour face... isin't becoz of the example the lecturer gave? hmm... half half i guess. haizz... i can't understand why did the class gave stupid links to a funeral.. like eating curry chicken.. paper cars... and what not.

Oh...! My little finger hurts..... I was trying to rub away the blue black part on the bus, on the way to sch. I was feeling so tired, i nearly wanted to skip today's lecture. pheww... but i manged to pull myself out of bed. hehhe.

Boarded the bus... and was trying to sleep, when i notice a middle age lady and an old lady board the bus. When they found a seat, the middle age lady (i think she's de old lady's daughter), she sat inside, so leaving the old lady to sit outside. When I was about to drift into dreamland, I heard someone spoke quite loudly. And i open my eyes and saw the bus ticket conductor was trying to lift the old lady onto her seat. Apparantly, she had fallen off her seat. Her daughter doesn't seem interested when the conductor was trying to explain what happened to her mom. After which, she went back to sleep, so did the old lady. How can she be so... inconsiderate?! I mean, she should have let her mom sit inside rite? And she didn't even bother to help her mom back onto her seat.. so unfilial!

I hate/ detest/ loathe unfilial ppl... how can they be so ungrateful... Sometimes when i hear ppl leaving their parents in the old folks home, i feel so angry and sorry for them! For they have forgotten their parents were the ones who brought them into this world... and who raised them till this age.

I feel sad and jealous when i see how other grandparents dote on their grandchildren. I missed the days when we were still young, with no worries and troubles. I really missed the old days... I really feel like going back to those days. I always wonder how are grampa and ah ma doing up there. Are they happy? Can they see me? haizz...

I keep pondering over few issues... like:

1) Are you really happy when you are laughing? Or are you just amused by someone/ something at that very moment?

2) What is happiness? Being loved by someone?...Or Loving someone? Or just.....Trying to be yourself?

3) Do we really know what is love? Or just simply obsessed with the word 'Love'?

Can I just be ME at all situations and with different people around? I do think its true that some ppl do reaction and behave differently towards diff ppl and diff situations. But can I just be ME.. having the same behaviour any and everywhere?

Can someone pls tell me what I'm thinking? Sometimes I feel so confused.. so tired.

Does it really what he said? Why isit i seem to take it to heart so seriously? hhmmm... i keep telling myself otherwise... Am I being too sensitive or....

Am i not good with words, thats why ppl don't understand how i feel?

Or am I not good with actions, so I can't express myself clearly?

Hhmmm... okies, enuff said.

Well, well... yesterday went to Marina Square to catch 'Deuce Bigalo' with my uni frenz... It was quite a lame show. Though I was truly amused by certain parts of it... i was laughing happily when i felt there is silence beside me.. The main focus of the show.. as its title has suggested, revolves round the important organ of a male. haaha... Go guess what it is?

*Winks winks...*


Just came back from playing volleyball, soccer and captains' ball at Sentosa. Today's weather wasn't very good, unlike that in the afternoon. It started to drizzle.. but we still continued with our game. I learnt the actual way of serving the ball over.. but with a price to pay. The ball hit my right last finger's vein... and it ended blue black. Now that I've kept rubbing it, it became maroon. haizz... I actually complained of hand pain, but my partners doesnt seem to get what i mean, only a few times they helped me to serve the ball over. I have red 'poka dots' appearing on my right forearm too... not that others don't have it... but... Excuse me?? I'm still a GIRL!!

'Red poka dots' = Red veins appearing on the hand....= after effect of serving the ball.

But anyway, think the guys had a considerable number of injuries too! 1 accused me of trying to rob him of his manhood... and pushing me to the ground. My gf also accidentally kick me with her knee.. haaha.. But i know it was done unintentionally la. But they also played quite rough... Trying to pull me when i was trying to grab the ball. So inturn, i also tried to push them and step on their foot. haahaha....

I wore a backless top today, thought i can tan my back to a perfect brown... Yes i do know its ugly..... stop harping on it. Its my back... not yours!!

I'm sleepy... there's Msm class tml. yawnz...

haahaha.. i just went jogging before dinner... feeling so healthy wor..

den watched tv, and saw J on tv... my mom said i shld join the programme coz that will help me to loose weight faster and it'll be more effective with the help of professionals! tian ahh....

Yesterday went to Bras Brasha's Mac to study... haaha, so hardworking yea? But I only managed to practise my MM.. and did some copying of my ICP (coz i lost my study guide.. haizz). Had dinner at Agisan Ramen.. quite nice ah, but it was very filling and i thought that their noodles was a little hard.. perhaps they shld have left it a little longer in the pot.. laalala.. den we went to the arcade at Bugis tp play CS. muaahahaa... think i'm getting hooked onto it liao. tsk tsk tsk...

This Sunday is gramma's birthday.. she'll be hmm.. 90 or isit 91 years old? Hhmm...

By the way, when i was having dinner, a lady from Cystal de Paris (is this how u spell it??) called to say I've won myself a $50 voucher. So in case of misunderstanding or hoax, I reminded her i'm still a student. So she assured me the voucher is still valid. (alrites den...) So i asked her what treatment can i do using the voucher..and she named me a few..

Lady: Hi! Is this Emily? I'm XXX (i forgot her name..isit Sharon?) from Crystal De Paris...

Me: err...yes speaking?

Lady: Oh, you've won yourself a $50 voucher during our lucky draw. Do you remember purchasing sth from Watsons..say around 2 mths ago?

Me: oh.. err.. I think so...

Lady: yes.. its a $50 voucher that entitles you do treatments at our centre.

Me: okies..

Lady: so when can you come down and collect it?

Me: err..I'm actually still a student, so is the voucher still valid??

Lady: yes of course..we also have students here. doesn't mean students can't do treatment rite?

Me: oh err..hahha...

Me: so using the voucher what treatment can i do? or rather how much is a treatment?

Lady: we have many treatments..depending on what is suitable for u..we have face treatments, or body.. and also we've got breast enhancement...

Me: ---stunned---

Me: oh...ok.. err.......

Okies, and i've agreed to go down and to collect the voucher...Oh manz.. I nearly finated when she said breast enhancement.. tian ahh...!! which student actually goes for breat enhancement? And anyhow, I seriously don't think i need one!! snorez... this lady here is so funny hor? haahaha...

yawnz...tml's saturday! =)

yawnz.. i'm so tired. Went to Tampines sports hall to play badminton with frenz today.. it was a gd exercise.... hahha

we went to Mac for lunch (oh no! how sinful again... there goes all my hardwork..haiz..) and chatted happily there. I was really tired, eyes closing... but they pursuaded me to join them at Katong to play Counter Strike.. hahha. So in the end we 5 ended up there..playing happily, when a guy approached us to see if we want to play the game with them. And how dare they... I didn't even have the time to change my weapon and 'Bang!!' I'm shot dead already... didnt even have the time and space to run away. My godness me...!! So after a few rounds, i gave up, stood thr and waited them to shoot me, rather den wasting my $ to buy weapons. In the end, we 5 played together again...so fun! Coz i finally managed to gun down a few of them by my own..hahha! hurray....!

We went down to level 1 to have our dinner, i ate tang hoon... so healthy rite? hehhe...

So tired.. I still have Msm class tml.. yawnz. Okies, i'm heading to bed now..so tired. nites!

Am i slacking too much these days?? hmm....

Went to PS's Lao Beijing for dinner on sunday... trying my best to eat more vegetables and less of carbo...was happily playing the "strawberry' game with Telma, she laughed loudly. U shld have seen the look on her face! How adorable! I just lurv her to bits... hahha... unlike her elder sis (Nadya), Telma is more approacable and cute, wheras Nadya is more stubborn and protective over her little sis. I nearly had trouble controlling Nadya coz she keep kicking me and purposely 'cleaning' her shoes on my jeans! Sometimes her behaviour can change 180 degrees into a little monster!!

After dinner, i went down to Bata to look for my mom and Aaron, coz he needed to get a pair of new sch shoes. Den i saw a pair of shoes which i took liking to it. But they didnt have size for the pink one, so i thought of asking the salesgal to check which outlet has it. But after much consideration, and asking my gramma, daddy, mummy and Aaron which is nicer, the blue or the pink one, i decided to get the blue one. Afterall, mummy is paying for it rite?? hahha... jian hor? lolz.. but dun be like this la... its been some time since mummy has bought me stuff like this.

I wore the new shoes to sch on Monday, only leaving me with blisters on both heels! And i was going round to ask frenz for plasters.. hehhe. nice shoes...! makes me... look and feel more girly. muaahaha...

Met up with the OCBC ppl yesterday at the glasshouse Fish and Co. It is my 1st time there.. nice atmosphere! Had a nice and pleasant dinner with them... i had some difficulty trying to concentrate on my dinner due to the live band. The music they sang was nice.. but i find it a little too loud, somewhat disturbing the peace that i would have appreciated. And Porky was still commenting how sweet the waitress looked... hmm...is 'sweet' the correct word to describe her?? I personally didn't think so. When i thought i was the latest, Mickey came even later. hahha.. and we both were trying to shoot each other, coz ever since sch started, we have not seen each other in sch! so Mickey suggested if i'm really frm SIM, nxt wk, he'll drop a coin into the fish pond, so i have to tell him whether the coin is a head or a tail... how lame!! He even bought himself using nearly half a month's pay to buy a game.. i duno wat u call that.. portable PS? I was trying to figure out how to play the golf game...He was feeling proud trying to show us the images of gals clad in skimpy tops.

Why are guys like this?? tsk tsk tsk... their heads are full of stuff that sometimes its just simply uncomprehendable (is there such a word?) aiyoz... Mickey was still grinning from ear to ear.. and i was trying to figure out if he really meant what he say, or if he is just trying to be funny. haaha...

I'm on a diet now... and was telling Will just now. He said all i have to do is to eat regularly. I told him the problem is I'm eating TOO regularly... muaahaha.. and he laughed. And of coz, i needed to get more exercise. haaha.. i'm lazy. Even this, he can also refute me by saying "If u think u are lazy, u'll be lazy", oh my..!

I'm hungry... thats wat i can say.

saw this in jin's blog... and i was feeling a little bored, so decided to do this quiz abt myself.. hahha


- just 7 things -

- 7 things that scare me..

1. ghosts??
2. ghostly stuff that pops out of no where when i open a link frm my frenz
3. i'll lose gramma someday
4. losing someone close
5. thinking i'll die sonner or later
6. eating some weird stuff like a fried cocoon (i've tried this in china...taste disgusting!)
7. stalkers...

7 things that I like most..

1. sleeping
2. eating
3. shopping
4. movies
5. day / nite dreaming
6. getting hitched to the man i lurv and able to spend the rest of my life with him
7. gossiping =X

7 important things in my room..

1. my computer
2. my bed + pillow + bolster + quilt
3. my mirror
4. the light (need this to see things in the dark)
5. my aircon
6. my radio
7. my cosmetics

7 random facts about me..

1. i'm short at being 1.56m
2. i'm heavy.. (sorry can't divulge my weight)
3. i'm not as blur as i look
4. i have short fingers
5. i can't squat
6. i'm shortsighted = i wear specs
7. i have curly hair, but i rebonded it...

7 things I plan to do before I die..

1. to travel round the world
2. to get married - if i don't maybe i'll donate my $ to charity
3. to be able to go to Africa to help the needy
4. to be able to dive at the most exotic places
5. to live in a big and comfortable house
6. to be able to drive
7. to eat all the yummy dishes all over the world


7 things I can do..(this is quite tough)

1. play the piano
2. play the saxaphone
3. play tennis (but not very well...)
4. i'm one of the betta gals in my jc class to be able to do the most pull-ups
5. i can whip up a simple meal
6. i can be very nasty and sarcastic if i want to
7. i can whistle quite well


7 things I can't do..(there's alot)

1. i can't dance
2. i suck at doing IT stuff
3. i can't fix my blog without the help of frenz
4. i'm totally lost when my comp is down
5. i can't talk to someone i like without feeling nervous
6. i can't speak cantonese properly without mixing some chinese
7. i can't speak teo chew.. haizz , well, maybe a few phrases here and thr


7 things I say the most..

1. kanasai = kns
2. huh?
3. wat the h+e+L+L
4. stupid
5. F***
6. sh+ it
7. idiot

7 Celeb Crushes!..
1. err...i only look at handsome and pretty celebrities, but i don't have a serious crush on them.

7 people I'll love to see doing this.....
hmm... frenz out thr, u can do it if u're feeling bored too. hahha

Wahh...!! That irritating Aaron keep boasting his power of english language infront of me.. how dare him..!! qi si ren le... he spent a few hours trying to draft out an english essay, and he has written 2 and a half pages, which i think, 2 pages are from which he copied from the itinery he took from my table... He wrote a 'letter' to his friend, describing his trip to Korea (which hasn't even take place yet...) -_- And he still want to laugh in my face, saying at Sec1, i don't even know what is the meaning of 'hospitality'... snorez...

hmmm... yestersday i was 1 hr late for my Msm class. I was late on purpose... but I didn't know i would be that late.. hahaha... Mr Quek went on very fast through his web disgram. And my heart was beatin faster and faster, coz i couldn't quite keep up with his pace. arghh...

Mr Quek : this minus this, that minus this...,this minus this...this minus this, that minus this.......minus minus...

-------ahh... finally when he was done he asked------

Mr Quek : so is everything ok?
Whole class : NNnnnNNNnoOoOooOoo.....!!!

hahha... and he laughed, and told us to go home to read up, and he'll discuss it further again nxt wk.. oh my!

After class, i had a fruit lunch, while Hui and Js has beef horfun.. yummz. And she kept tempting me... anyway, i couldn't resist tempation, coz when i met up wid Jin later on, we went to Marche. Supposed to have our healthy in take of salad and fruits.. but in the end... we end up with a plate of mash potato, pizza, cheese chicken, mushroom soup and 3 glasses of juice. WAHHH!!! how sinful... but anyway, that was our early dinner at around 5+/6pm...after which we walked and walked, and i think my poor shoulder nearly got dislocated from the weight of the 3inch thick MM notes in my bag...

We also caught the 'Corpse Bride', which in the beginning i was a little reluctant to watch during the wkend, coz it only lates for 76 mins.. and i have to pay $9.50 for it... aiyoz... not very worth it. But after watching the show.. i had a change of thinking.. i think it was quite nice, despite the fact that it only lasted for 76 mins. hahha.. and the name of the Corpse Bride is 'Emily'.. uohh....I think they could have drawn her prettier.. lolz..

Anyway, after our dinner, we went to walk walk, we went to Paragon, and was a little surprised at how early the shops are closing for the day. It was only ard 8.30pm. I thought usually they closes at 9.30pm... how weird. anyway, we proceeded to this Guess shop.. and i saw the little bag that i saw a few wks ago, when we were shopping at Isetan for ry's prez. hahha, so we bought it, coz we thought it was quite affordable... it was a nice small dinner bag i could carry with me. So pls don't ask me again why do i always have to lunge a big bag with me wherever i go... , its because i don't have nice little handbags that could match my outfit... i think its becoz of my sense of dressing. Somehow or what, it maybe just a little tomboyish... frenz can hardly see me in dress or for that matter, a skirt! i just don't feel comfortable wearing a skirt. It feels a little airy underneath... and i think it limits the way i can sit and cross me legs. muaahaha...I also can't wear highheels... coz my feet just can't stand the pressure and i can't walk properly and at the same time, trying to do the balancing act. lolz

Ooh.. tml's monday already. aiyoz... Shld i go sign up for my Amore classes again? I always think i feel and look healthier when i sign up, coz it forces me to exercise. hmmm... later i'll do some skipping k. i really have the determination to tone up and look healthier, err.. not for the sake of anyone, but for my own sake of looking and feeling better. I always feel lethargic, and nowadays, a little dizzy... so betta to keep myself healthy. eat healthy and exercise!! yeah...

I'm dreaming of a white..christmas!! I'm looking forward to celebrating my birthday soon, and also spending christmas in Korea.. hurray!

...muaahahaa. Are u all in christmas mood also too?

tadaaa!! i saw porky in sch on monday.. just outside the life. lolz.. he cut his hair.. muaahhaha

Anyway, hmm, caught The Brothers' Grimm on saturday with jin. I must say it was an interesting movie... we got the lovers' seat (coz only single seats were left...) and we sat nxt to this couple, and i tot the guy was a little noisy.. luckily this couple didn't do anything hankie pankie. Hahahaha... the lovers' seat was quite comfortable, but still not big enough for the 2 of us, and i was figgiting throughout the movie... after movie, we went to the this errr, wat do u call it? a showcase of the products of ppl who designed shirts and other stuff themselves. One of the items on display was the arrangement of flowers and wedding related items like flowers on the car, flowers on the door and wedding cutlery etc etc. It was so beautiful... jin told me to remember wat i saw, so nxt time for my wedding i'll have a rough idea of wat to do... hahaha. We walked past many of those wedding boutiques (coz we were at tanjong pagar area) and we were approached by this auntie standing outside 1 of those studios, and she asked if wana take a look at the new designs and wat not. My 1st reaction was 'Do i look like i'm getting married soon??' faintzz... i tink tt auntie didn't open her eyes big and wide enough.. haahaha. But boy! some of those wedding gowns on display are so nice... I like those simple yet look quite grand.. hehhe.

We went to the new retro cafe located just facing the main road now.. its very cosy and it is airconditioned...but its a little stuffy though. hahha, the fish and chips thr is quite nice... and at an affordable price, other cafes usually sell quite expensive. Jin say maybe she'll hold her bdae mini celebration thr.. I was also thinking likewise.. but its not very big, how to accomodate all my frenz? faintz...

hmmm...I crash todae's Mm lecture, but couldn't get in coz the admin lady was sitting outside giving notes. Haiz.. so mafan, made me missed the 1st half of the lecture. I still have a whole stack of notes waiting for me to collect. Suppose to go jb tml, but it postponed to nxt wk, coz J's passport needa be changed. but nvm la, more ppl, more fun rite? hehhe... So tml i'll slack at hm.. tink i betta do some work to read the notes, coz i'm really slacking too much. Betta catch up abit...

Since i'm free tml, mom ask me to go pray ah ma, afterall, tml's the 49th day. actually i'm feeling quite remorseful and ashamed of myself, coz i feel that i'm not as sad now, as compared to last yr when grampa passed away. I do admit i'm closer to my grampa, coz we've been living under the same roof ever since i was born... as for ah ma, i only visit her once a wk, and as i grew older, once a wk became once a fortnight. Haizz... i really regret this. I really miss the things i would do for her when i'm at her place. sometimes we'll buy food that she could swallow, like char kuey teow or chwee kuey.. den i'll try to feed her. Sometimes when we have to leave, i bid her goodbye, she'll grab my hand very tight, refusing to let go. only when i say i'm hungry, going home for dinner, den she'll let go, and ask me to come again...

i cried when i was at kty with hui, J and ry... J sang this song and as i read the lyrics, it really made me think of my grampa and ah ma.. especially grampa, how he left us, leaving gramma alone in this world. She has no one whom she can complain to everyday, and no one whom she can chide everyday. Though now she tries so change her 'target', i think the feeling whld be different. I think my gramparents married at a very young age... so their love lasted for almost 70 yrs. thats a very long time. As for my ah ma, i noe my ah gong passed away a very long time ago, i've not seen him before (except for the 1st time i went to this grave). I must say my ah ma is also a very strong woman, when her husband pass away, she was probably in her late thirties. So alone, she had to raise and feed 3 children, with 1 at china. though my mom and aunt are more dependent and help to work to relieve her workload, my uncle was still very young at that time... they had to make more sacrifices...

The song she sang at the ktv was abt this story of an old grampa and old gramma, the old gramma passed away during war time (or was it the old grampa??),leaving the other one to fend for himself/herself. Their undying love lasted until the other party finally leave the world many yrs later... how touching... haizz...

I'm afraid of my gramma leaving me.. after wat had happened, it not possible not to think of it. I do try and wish to spend more time with her, but yet sometimes i just don't wish to go home. The feeling is contradicting... coz i find that something just feels lacking.. something is missing. Not that any of the furniture is missing.. but grampa is, grampa is missing. He's no longer around. I know it has already been a yr, but it just seems so...so....unbelievable. It seemed like just yesterday i last spoke to him... perhaps its because of the cpiture i put near the mirror. So i get to see him everyday...I'm ashamed of myself, coz i didn't put the photo we took with ah ma. I'm not even sure if there is a photo i took with her, just the 2 of us.

Some memories are best forgotten, yet some memories are meant to be cherished. Some of these memories can't be easily forgotten... no matter how long time has passed. I tried to learn how not to cry, but i failed. I really tried... but if i don;'t cry, i'll feel so terribly miserable inside. Inside feels rotten, burning... it feels like it is trapped inside, wanting and waiting to be let out, to be set free. My heart feels tight, pounding and beating very hard and fast... i feel stifled, there is a lack of oxygen... I'm suffocating.

pls set me free... of the pain that is accumulating everyday.....every single day..

laaalalalalallala....

i've been out very often recently these days... i think i'm still in a holiday mood. oh gosh...!! oh no!! haahaha... when is it i'll get settled down (i mean to have the mood to study, and not to get married).

hmm, let me recap whr and wat i've done these days...

well, went out with the double Js and fg on fri to play pool, and to get lanterns for Mooncake Festival on Sunday... and me, being quite thickskinned, invited myself over to J's house to sample her mom's curry. lolz... and not bad la, its quite nice, though i still like my mom's curry better (sorrie sorrie =X). of coz i have to support my mom rite? haahaha... anyway, yapz, and her mom, being to nice, ask j's bro to pour me a cup of (i duno wat u call tt in english), but thise thingy is used to cook the curry... anyway, it smelled like some perfumed water, very nice... and tasted like ginger water, coz its towards the ending of swallowing it, it somewat tasted a little ... hot? err... no idea, i just swallowed the whole cup (literally...)

hmm.. and i went to sch for msm class on sat morning. den went out wid the gals... we went orchard to shop... and had lunch at Yoshinoya (after much consideration and hesitation). we yakked and gossiped... and H, being very excited and ji dong (as usual), talked with some food in her mouth. And trying very hard not to spit out her food, she unwittingly 'spitted' some salixva on my right arm (coz she was sitting on my right). and oh man! i kept quiet when there was only A drop of her saliva, but as she got more ji dong... more saliva dropletz flew on my arm!~ and i tried to calm her down... muaaahahha.. anyway, we went ard, and i got a pretty nice small sunflower for W. coz after meeting the gals, I went off to NUS with ah swee to catch W shake his bum. lolz... it was quite nice.. except for 2 of the performance, i nearli fell asleep, coz i was so tired after 3 hrs of class and another 5 hrs of walking. but nevertheless, the hiphop part of exhilarating! very nice!!

and on sundae, i went out with the flutist (Jr, ah swee and LL). we had dinner at Marina... yummy! nice, but they 3 childed me for being so greedy and took too mani chicken! hey! seriously, i tot u gals were still hungry, tts y i took so much! haaahaha, luckily L came later and helped us to finish the chicken. heehehe... i like the prawns... yummy!! and gorging ourselves, we went to the field opposite to light our lanterns. NICE! and romantic (minusing the mosquitoes and flies which were busy brushing my legs). and den, we walked this path, and it led us right to the river! we sat thr, and lit candles and with our lanterns, we took many pictures. hehhehe... oh manz, i really missed the times we had in jc... especially the time we spent in the band rm! laughing, and practising for our performances, concerts and during practice. and i especially missed ** sitting nxt to me. muaahaha... anyway, L's leaving for Japan this coming Oct for... 1 WHOLE YR!! oh god.. i'll miss her lei! and she's not coming back for new yr... boo hoo! the 4 of us are gona be separated again... =(

yawnz, and for yesterdae, H, K, S and ah swee and I went JB to shop ard. haahaha.. we had fun! but my limbs really ached man... and i had to bore the 4 of them with my contant laughing madness, my whining and complaining. haahaha, sorrie gals, but my soles are really sore, so i can't walk alot. they had to give in to me, and to sit down somewhr to take a break. we went to City Square, and also to Plaza Pelangi... actually i must say, the shopping thr is quite bad. i mean, perhaps their sense of fashion is differrent from mine. Anyway, i bought a of jeans... for only S$34! cheap rite? yeah... its a bargain... i whld lurv to purchase a few more, but the gal said the other pair which i lurv, doesnt come in my size. how sad... and i bought home 3 Dunkin Donuts! I like the one that had sugar power outside, and it oozes with chocolate inside! its really very nice... and i regretted only buying 1 of that flavour. the other 2 i bought was ok... not as nice as the 1 i had. (slurp slurp...)

i came home, like a dead pig, i was sss0o0o sleepy! i nearly wanted to skip my MM class today, but i thought, its not gd la, afterall, sch term had just started! and wat a way to start a whole new sch term... i must be more hardworking.. coz its my final yr... betta work harder and score well. i pormise... to earn more $ in the future is my motivation to work harder for my final yr now. i wana earn more $, so tt i can buy more nice stuff, and also, to let my parents live more comfortably (not tt they're not comfortable now, but, they maybe able to retire earlier) afterall, my younger is only in sec1 now... so if i were to porvide them monthly amt of stable income, they will be relieved to know their precious jem (ahem! tts me...) has grown up, and is able to take care of herself.

$ $ $, is a rich WOMAN"S world... i'm a woman... muaahahahaa

This wk is the 1st wk of sch... and everything is going on well...

i'm only having classes on mon, wed and sat... haaha... i feel very slack.. coz i'm only attending sch only 3 days per wk, unlike last yr. Mon was my 1st day... and suddenly SIM seemed very crowded to me, hahha, probably coz they had a bigger intake this yr. Didn't see mickey or porky in sch though... lolz.

i'm feeling much betta recently... probably coz sch has started, and thr is less time for me to daydream. but i still misses my grampa and ah ma... haiz. i keep thinking of how i wana celebrate my birthdae, but den again, i'm sad at the thought that both of them couldn't see me graduate and wear my hat (duno wat u call tt) and robe. i pray that my gramma will be in gd health, to see me graduate... gramma received a phonecall frm grampa's bro, and he was sayin he was admitted into hospital earlier due to some sickness. i was also in the living rm at tt time reading newspapers, and i tot gramma sounded weird, as though she's about to cry. den after puttin down the phone, she was lamenting how old ppl are so prone to sickness... and death.

me: 4th granduncle called to say who admitted into hospital?
gramma: he was admitted into hospital sometime earlier
me: oh i see...
gramma: ya, we're old already la, so prone to sickness and diseases
me: --silence--
gramma: and u'll never predict wat will happen in thr near future, your 8th granduncle is also always in and out of the hospital, just like ur grampa before he dead, treating the hospital like a chalet.
me: --more silence--

and i think i heard her saying dun delay in doing things that are urgent, coz they may just die... =(

yawnz, perhaps some great scientist shld invent immortality pills...hmm... or is tt a bad idea?

i'm really enjoying the last wk of my holidays... going out very often, and sleeping more.

went out with my SIM frenz on wed.. or isit thurs?, we went Sentosa. coolz, it was realli fun! i was taught how to play the volleyball in the correct way. we played in pairs, and my partner was damn powerful in his hits! smacking and hitting the ball. Then we played captain's ball, i didnt know it ended up in rugby style coz they were all snatching and pulling each other. hahha... so fun! lastly, we played football... and i'm really very sorrie fg, didnt mean to kick the snad into ur eyes. hahha! But u got back at me when u were trying to get the ball away frm K. haahaha... it was fun.. realli! i didnt realise i actually elbowed some1, and he was complaining all the way, and the unlucky guy got nailed down by my gf coz she accidentalli hooked his feet, and 'poomed!' he landed on all fours on the saad... lolz.. wat a funny sight.

Most of us were tanned, and a few got sunburnt... haaha... i'm so much tanned than last time. though i lurved to be darker, but the tan i have isin't nice, coz of the singlet mark. hmmm....

went to suntec with my mom and aaron on fridae.. they were many ppl at the travel Natas fair. and yeahhh!! i'll be spending christmas in Korea... I'm dreaming of a white.... CHIRSTMAS! yipeee!!! so happy, looking forward to this yr end! but i'll be away from my frenz... coz usually we'll spend christmas together, and having a nice sumptous dinner.

sch term is starting this coming mondae... i miss working at OCBC... wonder how are the recruits at tekong. hahaa!

i don't have the time to think abt other things now... i'm making use of my time before sch starts.. i'm enjoying every single min of it.

I went to bedok jetty to fish on tues nite, and the 4 of us were waiting aimlessly for some stupid fish to eat the bait. but our efforts were fruitless until 7am. when they were many pro uncles who fished 5 to 6 tamans at a go! coolz rite? so in the end we realised the bait we used were wrong. no wonder... so i went to buy the $2 bait... it had mani hooks on it. hahha, it was so exciting and fun! now i finally understand why daddy lurvs fishing so much. i tink its the thrill and the sense of achievement that he likes. i truely agrees....!

so we caught quite alot of fishes... but i tink we chld have caught more if it weren't for the entangling fish hooks. lolz. it was fun guys! thanx... we shld realli try it again.

after fishing, i reached home ard 9.45am in the morning... only to sleep from 10.30 to 12.30pm. and off i went to meet up with the OCBC elite team. Gosh! how i miss them, onli we've onli been apart for a few days onli. hehhe...missed the times when we slacked and worked in the office. the jokes we shared and the gossips we talked behind some1's back. hehhe... and also the number of prawns we ate at marina! boo hoo...! lolz... the number of prawns i stealed frm yh. the OCBC elite team consists of our team leader - candy (aka tweety bird), her assistant - mike (aka mickey), and the members - anson (aka bugs bunny), bryan (aka the gentle giant), yong hsin (aka stitch), victor (aka porky), lynn (aka indu puo - indian lady) and me (aka betty boo!). and of coz ailmer, but he's not realli frm our team though... but we still click very well... =)

1st, me, stitch, mickey and bunny met up and had lunch at sun plaza (can't rem wats de building called). and den tweety and her bf came.. and we played pool. so fun! though i had probs aiming and i seem to like to hit the white ball into the hole as well. haaha. i tink the guys are pro. a lesson to be learnt... free lesson and tips from de guys. And we went arcade to play... mickey and bunny played a stupid game, tt made me luff rite from de beginning to it ended. i was truely amused and it made me realised mickey had very bad rhythmic sense... lolz. and we also played photohunt. and bunny pressed the 'guy' button and all pictures tt came out were guys' photo... and they accused me of being superb alert when i see guys photo. i didnt k.... dun be mistaken... anyway, the guys in the photo weren't handsome either. =P

After tt, we went to suntec's marche for dinner. i realli lurved the food. i guess its my 1st time having enjoy the food thr... yummy! especially the chicken wrap with cheese... delicious! the 7 of us ate like pigs.... and also, i was only joking and pointing to the caramael banana with waffle, and mickey realli ordered it! haaha... but any, it turned out to be so nice! i onli managed to steal 2 bites from it. hehhe... after tt, we went to MS to take a look how it became after the renovation. its my 2nd time thr.... still very confused. and guess who i saw thr? i saw Derrick ( the squirrel look alike in the Superstar compeition). hahha.. he didnt look very tall in reality.

we played arcade again at MS... hahha, and the 4 guys played a game, where they took machine guns, trying to pose and look cool. how funni they looked...

fun hor...? anyway, stitch and giant are goin into NS later this late morning. all the best guys! they'll be real MEN when they are out. we shall meet up again soon... i'll miss all of u!~ now i understand y lynn asked for a hug frm everyone... i also feel like hugging each and everyone of u now. boo hooz...! i lurv u ppl! thanx for being so considerate when my grandmother passed away.

haiz... parting is such sorrow....

for frenz who think i'm crazy from all the crying... my grandmother has actually passed away on august 11 2005.

please do not treat me like a mental patient...

i seek for your kind understanding...

oh wat fuck...

okies, things are settled now. I've gotten my results, and the good news is i've managed to pass and clear all my yr2 subjects. its a huge relieve for me. but the bad news is that i didn't score very well, and i also have frenz who didnt do as well... i really feel sorry and sad for them. I'm not being sarcastic or sadist, i really mean what i say...

when i thought my comp is down, i decided to give it a last chance and to click again. Alas! its ok again... wat a miracle. the next thing i knew, i was cursing and swearing for i thought i had failed my AF. But when i looked closer, i finally realised i didn't fail, and on the contrary, manage to scrap it through, just barely... so i was crying again...

I tink i must have been a crybaby these days... crying and crying, not sure what has gotten into me either...

i hate the feeling of being alone at nite, i cry at the slighest thought of grampa and ah ma. i must confess i have tried crying on thr mrt train while on the way to work in the mornings, only to cover up my tears with my awkward yawning... haiz.

i cried while on the way back to s'pore form tioman, not becoz i thought we're gona be left stranded in the sea, but i suddenly thought of grampa and ah ma again. it really hurts so badly that i would really lurv being put into deep sleep forever. i'm really tired from these things... really tired.

I don't understand why is god so cruel to take away our beloved ones, and leave us all being in this wrenched and damned world. Yet god is so merciful to end our beloved ones of their constant sufferings and to take them away to a farway place where they can see and protect us form harm. i'm so confused... very confused.

my frenz tell me not to think so much... yet sometimes its beyond my control if my mind wants to linger and think of the past. i can control my mind, but not my heart..... or can i?

i wish i can be free of pain... i feel lost and trapped in a cage of my own...i am still searching for the key to free me of such pain, to unlock the feeling of being remorseful, guilty, lost and hurt. i really wished there was something i could have done to help my grampa and ah ma. It feels so helpless and painful to see them lying on the hospital bed, yet there is nothing i can do... i feel useless... i can't do anything to lessen their pain.

i can only stand there, seeing their health deteriorate, praying and waiting for a miracle...a miracle which will never happen. how foolish...

i hate myself for not being there more often... i hate myself for not cherishing the wkends when i shld have gone to visit my ah ma. giving stupid excuses like my mom went ahead widout me, or that i'm tired and lazy. i feel so... so.... damned.

but nevertheless, i am really thankful for having frenz around me to cheer me up and to lend me a listening ear. i really do appreciate it... i really do. Thank u...

my heart feels heavy...i am really tired.

all i need is just time... time will wash away the pain...

i hate this computer, for i've typed so much, yet nth appears. fuck it.

i miss my grandmother and grampa...

i've typed alot here this morning.. i'm lazy to repeat wat i've typed... so just let it be.

i'm just tired...

hahha... its sunday again... how time flies. tml is mummy's birthday, i'll be sending flowers over ot her office. tink im gona b getting champagne roses for her... nice and pretty!

well, i seem to be loving my job... not coz of de stuff i do at work, but the company i have. we seem to be doing things together... like on friday, we finished all of our work, so all of us were getting restless, so we decided to play this number game. and i was so happily mixing the drink meant for the forfeit.. and guess wat? karma.... i drank it myself.hahaha... it tasted weird too.. luckily i didnt have diarrhoea... and they were all luffing away... lolz. i did had a great time this wk. staying for OT 3 times, once till 8pm and twice till 9pm. can u imagine how hardworking and workaholic i've became? especially when the OT s are not compulsory... hahha.

the guys are funny... and i duno isit i was lacking of sleep duing wkdays, tt i start to utter nonsense.. and it seemed tt the nonsense i said and did, tickled my frenz at work. hahha... sianz... so fast, tml will be monday, i'll be busier this wk, coz this will be the actual exercise. last wk is only the trial run... hahha.

oh.. having a headache now... slept at ard 2plus last nite, and woke up at 12+ wid a headahce.. stupid. friday and sat nites are the only times i can sleep with no worries and widout the alarm clock... yawnz... i simply love wkends! =)

ha.. the last time u guys read my blog, i was still unemployed, but now.. i'm workin already... so is this gd or bad news?

yawnz, i'm now working for OCBC bank, and what i'm doing is boring to the core! hahha... we're trained as a group, and its fun to work with a group of ppl, coz it reminds me of the gd old days when studying. haha... our group consists of 8 temps + 1 intern.. but the intern (aka suyun) has already left us. haha, kinda miss her though only know her for a wk. Our group also include guys like Yong Hsin, Bryan, Victor, Anson and Mike... wat a surprise, coz victor and mike are from sim too! lolz.. and the gals include lynn, candy and myself. meanwhile, mike, candy and lynn are at the auto loan centre side, which is just a stone's throw from our ocbc centre. miss them.. coz without lynn, its a little too quiet. hahaha

so left me, yong hsin, bryan and victor here doing the daily routine checking of the log cards.. wat a boring and no brainer job! the chairs really suck thr, coz it doesnt have a cushion... and we're all complaining of painful butts! hahha... and not forgetting aching backs, necks and straining eyes... yawnzz... they are quite a fun group of ppl, except a few, who are quite... how shld i put it? hmm... just can't click with them, duno wats wrong.. hahha, perhaps its the age gap difference i guess... lolz

today's sat.. suppose to go jin's hse to help her with her earrings thingy.. coz they'll be selling them at nxt wk's flea mkt. sorrie... i'm really tired... hahha, but tink jin kinda read my mind.

ohh, i'll still be stuck at ocbc centre on monday, when den can we be back at ALC? faintzz... hmm, talking abt ocbc centre, thr seems to be some misunderstanding btw us, not so sure abt tt too. hahha, but i try to keep my distance away frm him, but still, i'm kinda interested whether if its true.. stupid rite? courting trouble... hahha...

i'm tired... yawnz, i'm miss shrinking eyes... -_-
lolz

yawnz... i'm still unemployed. slacking at hm everyday... but its a gd thing i'm not working... coz i can enjoy staying at hm.

i have all the time in the world now...
so much time tt my mind started roaming...
tinking of grampa quite frequently
and the sight of my sickly ah ma made me quite sad
y isit tt when we have to grow old?
y isit tt we have to die?
y isit tt after we die, we cannot communicate with the live ones?
where is the exact place they'll go after the die?
will they forget us?
if only there is immortality...
but tt would mean tt there'll be overpopulation everywhere..
and poblems like starvation, homeless and not having enough nutrition,
plus the problems created by natural diasasters.
daddy said natural diasasters are created by god to kill a portion of the population,
coz the fraction of those dying each day in the world aint enough..

hmmm.... okies, maybe i can psycho mummy to let me accompany her to go to taiwan. perhaps i'm realli fussy abt wat kind of jobs i get, but tts not my point of working... its not just for the sake of earning $...wat has gotten into me?? weird... i myself can't comprehend. *sighz*

time to go to the library to borrow some books to help me pass time more quickly.. afterall, its FOC! (free-of-charge).
=)

hmm, haven been updating my blog lately...so wat have i been up to? hmmm....

i have been working a few days at SEAB - s'pore examinations & assessment board.. den now slacking a little and also tml going for an interview at great world city.. hehhe... and when i'm free, i'll watch vcd... and today just finished watching it, after catching the vcd fever for a few days. haha, its the china's version of Condor Heros... it was quite gd i must say... hahaha... so if i'm not gona be employed this wk, i shall go down to Poh Kim to purchase or rent a few nice vcds... this shall force me to stay at hm, and to save $$... heard from annie (the gal from de agency) tt she also found me a job at PM's office, but then they have no reply yet. i thought it'll be gd working thr, coz it'll be quite an interesting place, and also an additional organisation i can add to my resume.. hahha. if only i can earn up till $10 per hr.. tt will be great!! den i can shop ard, pay for my gym fees... hehhe... $$$$$$$$$$$.. i can't do widout $$...

yawnz... so bored. if only i can go on a holiday... hehhe, mummy asked if i wana go taiwan, coz she might be goin over for a few days to look around.. coolz! and i'm also dying to visit Korea.. especially during winter!! hahhahahahaha.... =)

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who have a split personality - cold as ice on the outside but hot as fire in the heart.

In love, you feel the most alive when your lover is creative and never lets you feel bored.

You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was insecure and in constant need of reassurance.

Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with.

Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.

You think of marriage as something that will confine you. You are afraid of marriage.

In this moment, you think of love as something you don't need. You just feel like flirting around and playing right now.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

http://quizdiva.net/bt/sagittarius-love.gif">> Sagittarius%20-%20Your%20Love%20Profile Your%20positive%20traits: Your%20playful%20nature%20brings%20out%20the%20happy%20inner-child%20in%20dates You' b> Best things ruin will fickle Your it. stick and parnter, your about mind up while. Make a once every needs parnter?s on Focus you. all not better. It?s is relationship stable sometimes - great freedom while that b> Realize future:<> Tips other-worldy an be can you Sex driven. try. Spritually dying you?re fantasy new got always You?ve imagination. of bedroom. Full in something try pushing You?re b> Daring. style:<> Your end going night how know never You b> Unpredictable. dating on Your early you? love ?I tell afraid bold... you Is two adventures thinking fun creative whenever Is with out pick who energy high b> Someone partner:<> Your one commit hard it find spirit free such hurts You?re when even truthful tactless, honest, brutally abrasive You biting as off comes sarcasm b> Sometimes traits:<> Your hottie any talking gets humor sense killer rewards You?ve reap love... risks take willing re>American'>http://blogthings.com/singles.html">American Singles - tons of flirting and fun to suite your inner extrovert Best color to attract mate: Purple Best day for a date: Thursday Get your free love profile at Blogthings.

Who Catches Your Eye?
emily, your crush is the Skate Punk

So maybe he's no Tony Hawk. It's more about a rebellious attitude than actual skateboarding ability. What's most important for your fall crush is that he's a cool character with an alluring edge about him.An original and hip gal like you should be with someone who's equally interesting and enticing. Someone who welcomes challenges and isn't afraid to try something new. Whether you're checking out an art gallery, going to a movie, or just hanging out, you'll be dancing to your own beat — together. It takes two to tango, you know. Better find your partner!



The Love Test
less romantic
more romanticOkay, so you're not a die-hard romantic who carelessly tosses around loving words, hopeful promises, and doting acts, but you do a pretty great job of expressing your loving feelings. Couplehood suits you to a T, and you like coming up with new, creative, non-mushy ways of showing your sweetie how you feel. You know very well that there are other ways to show love, respect, and admiration besides all that flowery mumbo-jumbo. Basically, you're passionately romantic without being excessively sentimental — practical, but also sweet and sensitive. Because no matter what, it's very important to you that your partner understands how much you care about him — you love how close you feel to him when you tell and show him what's in your heart.

Are You Bewitching?
emily, your Attitude makes you bewitching

You know what they say — attitude is everything. And in your case, it's certainly one of your finest and most alluring characteristics.Leave the complications to other people. You know how to keep things lighthearted and upbeat. A free-spirit, you don't sweat the small stuff and prefer to take things in stride. Cheerful and laidback, you light up any room, party, or boring meeting with your dazzling personality — without even twinkling your nose. And that's bewitching. Keep it up!

hahha, and i forgot to add in, john actually asked if i lost weight, hahahah! wat a joke...! but it was nice of him to say tt... lolz =) thanks!

yawnz.... i woke up at 3pm today, coz i was so tired from yesterday's partying. yesterday went to yue ping's 21st bdae, she was my jc classmate. den met up wid my other jc classmates like john, sweeyee, william, yunzhi and hongda... after we left, john drove us to de mrt to drop off yun zhi and hong da, so de rest of us went to Feng Shan hawker centre to makan. i ate a few chicken wings.. thr are still a few left, but noone wana eat tt... lolz. the rest of them ate bah chou mee. den after which, we rove around, and went to Geylang. coolz! Mr John took us to see those china, philipinos who were soliciating thr. we were droving ard when we saw this lady in tight hot pink tank top and hot pants! but apparently, they told me she was a MAN! hahaha... she was so hot! lolz... den we drove further down to see so many pimps and guys at Geylang, and i was told tt even uni gals go down to sell themselves and they were 'kept' in these small houses called Fish Tanks. and thru these glasses they were picked from. ww0o0o0o..!! 1st time seeing all these. thr were just so many of them!

hahha, den we stopped and ate tou hua... and i was talking abt this lady having tattooed a 'patience' in chi on the back of her neck, little did i noe later her husband and kid were staring back at me. oops! =X hahha, me and my big mouth... luckily, nth happened. hahha...

after eating, john drove us back 1 by 1, and i was sort of surprised at his gentleman-ness, coz he went to the extent of sending sweeyee up to her flat. hahha, yeah.. John, u really surprised me! but tt was very nice of u. hhehe.and of coz, i was de last to get hm, hahha...so in the end i fell alseep only at 4plus, already close to 5am in the morning!!!

oh, i really enjoyed myself yesterday, if only we could meet up more often... not bad having a chauffeur to drive us ard. oops! hehehe...anyway, tonite is another tiring nite, todae jason is celebrating his bdae.. oh god! i'm just so tired now... lolz. actually sundae is jasmine's bdae, but den i can't make it la, 3 days consecutively in a row! i really can't take it...

yawnz... i'm still waiting for annie from de agency to call me, hopefully she can find me a nice job... and wid a higher pay. hopefully.... =)

oh yeahhh!!!!!!!!! my exams are over liao! so darn happy u noe??

hehhe, met up wid yee, ling and jr yesterdae, its been so long since i met them, den also saw cliff, farhan and a few tpss guys at orchard. i was thr to shop... haha, but still not enuff, coz we met up too late. bought a pair of nice shoes and a top... hehe.. yee accompanied me till 11pm plus, b4 we decided its time to go hm, if not wun b able to cvatch the last train.

tonite going to Paramount Hotel for dinner, perhaps i shld go to parkway earlier to shop around, but no1 is free to accompany me i guess. aaron needs to go for his tuition and mom is buys wid her own stuff...

im really very relieved tt my nitemare is over, for the time being, den a few mths later when de results is announced, den it'll be another round of nitemare. im praying hard tt i'll b able to clea all my subjs and go onto yr3 wid only 4 subj nxt yr to take. pray hard, pray hard.....

hmm, cbis tt day was not very gd, coz i couldn't rem wat i've read, and the worst part was tt i didnt memorise, so i had difficulty recollecting...stupid. so i came out wid my own pts... and for the short qns, some terms i haven even seen b4 came out, like Active Server pgs or duno wat Computer Interactive Manufacturing.. wah piangz!! this paper certainly isin't 'user-friendly' at all...hopefully, they'll reward me for tinking hard...and not penalising for the examples i used. coz i wasn't sure if the examples sounded stupid and lame.. hahaha, but i just tried.

okies, all are over.. so time to rest and slack for a while, b4 i go find myself a temp job to earn some $$ and can spend on holidaying. cool!

2words to discribe how i feel now... = HAPPY, RELIEVED
=)

hahahaa.... early in de morning and i'm already laughing like mad... lolz, tiish sent me another email add, asking some private qns like 'have u masturbated b4?' or 'wats de most intimate thing u've done b4?'
muahahaa... coz having done 2 of such qns b4, now i turn de tables and fool them. lolz... i was half crying and half laughing, tinking wat i shld write... damn funny man! these ppl really hav nth to do, and ppl like me will try hard to entertain them. hahah... oh btw, de website is called 'crush007.com', so if ur de type who are not so fun, and are easily offended, i suggest u just ignore these mails. other den tt, its quite fun... like answering qns like 'u've masturbated more den 7 times per wk!' hahha... but tts too many times, so i put 'less than 7 times' hhahahaha... but other den tt, stuff like wats my name, my email and birthday are true la...

go ahead and try it! esp when u wana noe de most intimate details of ur crush?? lolz... ohh... den u'll noe if ppl had sex b4... hahaha

tokin abt sex, i tink gals shld actually save themselves up for their marriage. dun u tink so? i mean, if they do it wid ppl they lurv, chances are, they'll do it many times. coz we may have several bfs in a lifetime rite? until den u find tt special some1 to marry u... true rite? so its betta to save it for tt 1 and only 1 = ur HUSBAND, and not BFs! hmm... tts sth to tink abt...

neway, my exams are coming to an end!!!!!! yipppeee..... i just cant wait... 1 more paper to go!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yeah yeahhh!!!! last paper = cbis, this coming thursday! after tt i'll be free!! hohohohohoho... hhaha

yest went to jin's graduation show, was tokin to her parents and auntie lulu... i belong to their grp, coz i just dun understand wat their work is all abt.. hehhe...its far beyond my imagination and understanding... too chimm already. hahaha... so i just walked around, look at interesting things they wrote. very creative i must say...

okies, mjst go and study my cbis liao... havenb touch it since mock lei.. scared scared...!!

okies... everything is back to normal for the time being.... peaceful and... hmmm... busy?

i'm still left wid HRM and CBIS. sianz.... hrm is due nxt friday.. i'm slackin away, like nobody's business.. somebody pls help!!! i'm waking up as and when i feel like it, and only touchin my notes for tt few hrs... jialat manz...

neway, im goin over to aunt's hse, just to get back the momentum...oh yesss... 2 papers more and i'll be freeeeeeee!!!!!!!!! yiipee!!!

and after exams will be busy attending fren'z bdae parties, working, saving $ for a getaway... and sun-tanning... hahahahhaha!!! and also exercising to burn off those fats... hmm.. wat else? sing until my voice break... and the cups crack.. and catch movies like its free-of-charge. hmm... and sleeping until thr's no tomorrow! muaahhahahaa... and of coz! SHOPPING!! but hmm...1st got to loose some weight and save $ la... i can shop when i go overseas... hehhe, its more worth it yea?

I SIMPLY CAN'T WAIT!!! de tot of doing all these things get me so excited.. hahahaha

okies, time for a shower and time to shoo of to aunt's hse to catch de 7pm show's last episode! ohh...

tata! =)

actually i didnt wana write this online, just to avoid any discussions... but i just have to somehow get it off my mind...

daddy and mummy quarrelled on fridae, and again on saturdae. i was sitting nxt to daddy just nxt to the coffee table, searching for my notes, just when their argument got more heated and in a fury, he threw the newspaper he was reading half way on to me. of coz it was supposed to be directed at me, but coz i was just 'accidentally' sitting nxt to him... i was so shocked. never had i seen daddy so angry before, and mummy so hurt... aiyoz.. think daddy must have been very stressed and fedup, and the anger just boiled up, and needed to be vented off. i kept quiet throughout their argument, for i thought it maybe a better idea for them to vent out what they have been silently keeping quiet abt. until when i thought the argument was getting way too off hand that i shouted 'enough! keep quiet...!!' but after saying tt, i felt so stupid and thought either 1 of them would slap me and ask me not to interfere. ha.. but luckily, none of them said anything, and was silent for a while, before they started again.. actually i didnt thought that it was very serious until mummy hinted me that she may not want to return for the nite, but luckily... daddy was working on a nite shift, so they could avoid each other...

i thought it may be partly my fault too, coz i wanted to go to aunt's hse to do my revision, but daddy needed to get to work, and mummy just went to visit her sick fren and my elder bro was in KL, so leaving gramma with aaron. gramma made so much noise, so daddy got fedup, he called mummy to get back asap, and she, having sensed his bad attitude, also got angry, i was irritated coz i can't study in peace and gramma was angry coz daddy sopke loudly to her. haiya... sometimes hor, these old ppl have a certain way of thinking.. a weird way of thinking... not sure if we all will turn up to be like this when we're old in 40 yrs time. coz sometimes she's hard of hearing, so we have to speak up when talking to her. den when we're too loud, or in a hurry, she'll feel hurt and thinks tt we're screaming at her.. faintzz...hmmm.

i just don't understand why my parents and gramma are treating my younger bro like a baby!! can't they just let him take care and fend for himself? afterall, he is already sec 1 this yr!! and sometimes gramma will complain abt aaron doing something she just can't stand it. but of coz aaron, on the other hand, is so rude...this 2 ppl just can't click.. thus creating trouble for all of us in the family. haiyoz!!

nobody seems to be able to understand what gramma is thinking... but all of us think she is very fortunate as compared to her other counterparts and friends. coz we are a happy family (including grampa), and she is rather healthy and doesn't have much problems unlike other old ppl. we're all very thankful for tt too... but it is that very old history which still haunts her. sometimes i let her talk abt her past (only when i have the time and patience), while my aunts and parents will try to find some excuse to squirm their way out of it. hahha...too bad grampa isin't here now, coz he's always her number 1 faithful loyal listener. not coz he really enjoys listening to her, but he just sits there and doesn't complain a word when gramma is yakking non-stop. lolz...i really admire him for his resilience. haizz... hey! im talking abt history too!... hehhehe...

hmm...daddy and mummy are still not talking to each other...i also duno what to do. faintz... just trying to help them patch back. hey! i'm a peacemaker!

neway, talking abt my past papers, it has been dissappointing! haiz... i really practised so much for my AF, and damn.. i'm not even sure if i can pass it, let alone trying to aim for 60 marks. ha! as for econs, err...thr was mistakes here & thr, and 1 big error for shifting the IS curve towards the wrong direction, so the whole diagram + the AD & AS curve is wrong! faintzz... thr goes my 70 marks... so sad...

ok times up! have to go back to my mkting notes...hope this paper would be ok. or else... i'll be so so so dissappointed. =(

oh... err.. i just realised i haven been blogging for quite sometime already.. hehhe

well, 2 days more to go. den it'll be doom's day. muahahhaha...

weighed myself recently, put on 3kg?!! this is insane man.. i have friends who are so qorried abt exams tt they loose the flab off, while im doing the opposite.. PILLING UP!! lolz... wat to do...? i eat more when im stress...

picked mom up from the airport yest.. actually i didnt wana go, but aunt said its mothers' day, so perhaps i shld show my face. and when my elder bro who's the freest of us all, went missing to meet up with his army gang.. sheesh.. so in the end me, aaron and daddy went to pick mom up. hehehe... den i made used of the extra time to buy Swensen's ice cream which daddy paid for it! hurray!! lolz... FOOD!! nowadays i can't seem to get this word outta my head. and u'll keep hearin me saying 'this is yummy, tt is yummy...!' hahaha

neway, my exams will last till 2nd june. i'm already going crazy... luckily aaron's also having exams now, so thus, i won't be so jealous to the max, coz my elder bro finished his exams, and is slacking now! soon he'll be off to korea for his studyin trip. hee! perhaps i whld have saved enough $ during my holi job to travel thr wid my aunt to pay him a visit... holidays... haizz.. and aunt and i were discussing abt going for a cruise, tts the only place we can bring gramma out to enjoy (besides going to the restaurant for a feast...)

I CAN'T WAIT FOR THIS HORRIBLE EXAM TO BE OVER ASAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

its been exactly a yr...how times flies. i couldn't sleep, so decided to come in and blog.

i've been thinking alot abt grampa todae... today's his 1st anniversary.

woke up at 6am this morning, den went to attend granduncle's funeral. yap indeed, he doesn't look like him after the 'make-up', my aunt even tot he looked a little like grampa. ha... hmm.....i wonder y must they always hav a band at such places, not tt i find them noisy but wouldn't it be better if we were to play songs from a cd or sth like tt? i was fighting back tears this morning, not tt i was crying for granduncle, but the whole thing reminded me of grampa, wat happened exactly a yr ago. it still haunted me. not tt i had nitemares abt tt, but it still lingers very clearly in my memory. i still can't accept the fact tt grampa has left... i mean, its alreadi been a yr, but it feels like everything just happened yesterday! my heart aches for him...i miss talking to him. i really mean it!

i still remember him calling me from his workplace, asking if i want chinese cakes. i remember him bringing back red nail polish from his workplace, him bringing me to the roti-prata shop... us eating at the macdonald's.

i possibly can i write out how i feel? don't tink tts possible... no words can comprehend how im feeling. somehow i keep regret things i did in the past... like raising my voice at him, little stupid petty things i did. but i tink thr's no room for regret now...we always regret after doing stupid things don't we? till now i still wonder y.....

tml we're going crystal jade at taka for lunch...i'm talking abt food now coz i'm hungry now...used up lotsa energy todae... can't blame me.

haizz...

LIFE IS LIKE A GUST OF WIND AND A TORRENT OF RAIN...

it is just so true...

my mock was a flop, granduncle just passed away, and he's gona be cremated tml, which coincidentally..... is grampa's death anniversary.

well,... i'm sure thr are others who have been thru such difficult times...

had cup noodles for lunch todae, coz while i was practising my AF sums, i heard this song i like very much. it's a very sad song, and reminds me of grampa. unable to control (and also coz thr was no1 else except me at my aunt's hse) i broke down... den eyes red, and felt awkward, i stayed at hm.

haizz...

LIFE IS FULL OF UPS AND DOWNS, WE GET TO ENJOY, BUT WE WERE ALSO FORCED TO GO THRU THE DIFFCULT TIMES. BUT WE'RE STILL TRYING TO FIND PEACE WITH OURSELVES.... EVEN TILL THE DAY WE DIE...

y am i being so philosophical? (dennis asked me this)
coz...i can't help it. i'm in one of those moods again......

so much so for this stupid computer, i typed so much in here yesterday and non of it was saved. stupid...

haizz... think life is short... another of my relative passed away. come to think of it, its kinda coincidental, coz apart from my grampa, he's de 3rd relative to pass away, sometime similar to the other of my relatives. hmmm... heard he had a tumour in his brain, and TB. i got to know from my mom tt TB is usually spread through saliva... so chances of his family getting infected is also high... hmm....

haizz... very frustrated and anxious abt exams, i'm only left with 1 mth, or rather 1 mth - 1 day. coz my 1st paper will be on 12th may. arrgghh...!! got back my cbis and af mock scripts yesterday. well... it was a flop! failed both of them.i needed 4 more marks to pass my cbis, and my af was terrible! haizz... i was so disappointed, coz joyce passed her cbis. i'm not being competitive, but then she studied it last min lor... while i started preparing for it a little earlier than her. bloody hell... perhaps being a little IT savy whld had helped alot in this subject. she scored 46, which was 12marks above the passing mark. (note: the passing mark is 34) sianzz.....i'm so jealous, envious and disappointed...

oh btw, did i mention i passed my mkting? but its also disappointing, coz i did 4 essays, scored the same marks as sandy who did 3 essays. HA! so roughly can tell who did more studying rite? actually i went out of point for the last qns.. or rather, i didnt know how to do tt qns, so i anyhow write. hhhaa...anyway, mkting couldn't have been any disappointing than af! i've never been so...so.so........ well, nevermind. its just terrible! hahha, i showed my bro my script., and his reaction was like 'wat?! i wonder if u do any studying'.. he told me to look at his paper on the sofa, which was labelled 'A-' at the top. duhzz... its only an assignment, a tutorial lor, i also did very well for my assignments. bloody hell...

not enuff time, but so much things to do.... howhowhow?!!!!!

i wana bang my head against the wall.
seems tt i'm gona fail all my subjects for prelims ( excluding mkting)

yuck... i suck at studying...
=(